Graduating to New Levels of Lame

Graduating to New Levels of Better
A Perfect Peplum Sweater

When I haven’t posted in a while, it usually means one of two things.

1.  I’m really happy and busy

2.  I’m really sad.

I was really, really fantastically happy.  I just started my awesome new job I really like with coworkers who are just awesome.  My friends and I were having awesome times together. I was in a relationship that I felt happy and fulfilled in with someone I deeply cared about and was starting think, “Wow.  This is my favorite person.”

Than lousy shit started happening.  I had to revert my house hunt to a rental hunt when I realized my car was about to die and therefore financial reprioritizing was in order.  Finding a rental here in Columbia that’s in a safe location without holes in the walls that will allow my little Douglas to live in is pretty much the most impossible quest I can imagine at this point.  If you’re up for an exercise in futility and depression, go ahead.  Do it.  If you want to raise your stress levels to entirely new & exciting heights, arrange viewings every day during every lunch break as well as every day after work.  Sit at home every night scouring listings that repeatedly say “Absolutely NO Pets Allowed”.  Mark, in an attempt to cheer me up, said, “At least you can’t feel any worse than you do right now.”

Never say that.  Things can always get worse, and in my case, rather frequently do before they get better.

Then Mark and I broke up.  It was awful.  Imagine seeing the person that you care about more than anyone staring at you blankly and telling you they didn’t want to be there for you anymore.  And seeing the body language that told you they just don’t care anymore and really just want you to leave and for all of this to be over.  I’ve never felt so hurt, unlovable and expendable.

The next night, my car died.

The next day I woke up to discover my hot water wasn’t working.

After a good cry in a cold shower, I went in to work where a very sweet coworker asked how my house hunting was going.  When I told her, “Not so well.”, She responded with, “Well…at least you can drink wine!  I gave that up for lent. Just trying to put a positive spin on it.”  She was being really nice, and I was probably a callous jerk for saying, “You know what I’m going up for Lent?  Putting on a positive spin on things when things are just plain shitty.”

My friends ask me how I’m doing, and I want to say “Fine” and “It’ll all be okay.”, but that’s really just not where I’m at right now.  More observant followers of this blog will notice a few things.  You never see a single post with my family in it.  Why do you think that is?  I’ll also go for weeks on end without posting.  When you read someone’s blog like mine, you don’t see everything that’s going on.  That’s why when sometimes I get comments like, “You always seem to have such a great outlook on life.” it gives me pause.

I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember.  Most days I’m great.  But then some days are just awful.  It’s just always been that way since I was a little kid.  I’m one of those people who have to try really really hard to be happy.  And sometimes, especially when things seem really awful, I can’t do it.  And I hate that about myself.

I don’t usually run on about breakups, because, frankly, they’re usually not a big deal to me.  Just minor bummers with guys who never made it my my “Important People” list.  It hurts to think that maybe that’s all I was to someone else.

So.  There you go friends.  Your ReFashionista is going through a tough time, and can use all the good vibes she can get right now.

But what the hell?  Let’s do a refashion!

This is one of those, “I seriously just tied something around myself” ones, but given what I’ve been through, please keep the negative comments to a minimum, okay?

When I found this graduation gown for $1 at my local thrift store, I decided to give myself a fun challenge.

Wow. This is the saddest “before” pic ever.


Then, things got really lousy, and I said, “Eff it.  I’m not sewing today.  The world should just be thrilled that I got out of bed and clothed myself at all.”


Seriously. I just tied it around myself.
Seriously. I just tied it around myself. And yes, Ryan has intentionally placed his ass in this photo.


I didn’t want to be alone, so I spent the day with friends.


I was fantastic company.
I was fantastic company.


I even faked a few smiles.


My face hurts.
My face hurts.


So yay.  A refashion.  I promise I’ll actually do a sewn version of this one as well.




And now I’m just going to leave you with this:



4.8 (96.6%) 341 votes

733 thoughts on “Graduating to New Levels of Lame

    1. The worst stuff happens, right before the greatest moments of our lives. I predict your future husband and new car are on its way!

    2. Girls, it will be OK! You both have to be strong and think for yourself! Refashionista, you are super creative, funny, inteligent woman with great new job. Don’t ever give up! Your blog finded its way to me – to Slovakia, realy small country in the middle of Europe and I check your blog daily! If your heart is’nt strong enough, your creativity is…and sometimes that’s enough to survive those hard times.
      Love you girls!

    3. as my granny said “look to your left and look to your right – you are going to see those a lot worse off than you – put your lipstick on , smile and get moving , no other way to live and the alternative – well it aint your choice to make” I miss her – she was great –

  1. Depression and anxiety, I feel your pain. They have been my lifelong companions too. Just know you’re not alone and brighter days are coming. Rest. Peace. [[Hugs]] Gail

    1. I have depression and anxiety as well. When medicated I can usually force myself in to a happy enough mood. But there are still still times when it seems like everything that can go wrong, does, and I think “why should I have to pretend to be happy right now?” Just let your friends be there for you, feel all the sadness and frustration long enough to get it out of your system, and then move forward. You’ve accomplished soo much career wise, and with this blog. You will over come this as well.

  2. Don’t feel too bad, at least you have friends and a job. I have to live with my mom and her five cats. I feel you though. I wish things would just get better all around.

  3. I know there’s not much that I can say as a complete stranger to make you feel better, but please just know that I’m thinking of you and wishing you well. I love your blog. It got me started on refashioning, and has inspired me to think of creative and different ways to use old clothes. So thank you for being you and sharing all the awesomeness and the not so awesomeness, and here’s to the world righting itself as soon as possible! :)

  4. No platitudes, no advices…ok, maybe a little. It will get better if you can just hold on. You’ve helped me though some tough stuff including the loss of a job I’d been really good at for 15 years after my new boss made it her personal mission to ruin my professional life. Sometimes, life sucks, but I bet there’s more than one person in your life that makes it worth getting out of bed to hang out with. Stay as strong as you can and push through. There’s light at the end of the tunnel.

  5. Go you for getting out and blogging and refashioning even when things really suck! Fingers crossed that everything takes a turn for the better for you ASAP, and the new (sorta kimono-style-ish?) skirt is fab! And *hugs* to you!

  6. I too suffer from depression. I have for a long time now. Nobody understands why I am like I am. Nobody has walked in my shoes or been through all the crap I have been through. I don’t know your story, but I do understand a lil of what you go through everyday. There are days where I am just fine. The next day I can be sad for no reason.

  7. Sweetie….sometimes you just gotta let yourself BE sad.
    yell…scream…throw things… cry. let it all out.

    Then get up, dust off your butt, wipe away the tears- and be spiteful- go out and be happy again. Find your happiness elsewhere- AFTER you get the sad and hurt outta your system, tho.


    1. Good advice! Have a temper tantrum, put negativity aside, then go out and make your life positive! Look for the good – perform some random acts of kindness and kindness will return to your life!

  8. Hey girl. You don’t need to apologize at all for the way you are. I have the same anxiety issues and even though I put on a positive face, I’m often bogged down by a lot of behind the scenes family drama/breakups/financial crisis myself. But that’s life. No grit, no pearl. Take time for you; we’ll all be here when you get back.

    1. Please look how many people understand and are supporting you and are willing to admit many of us have the same anxiety issues and depression and here we all stand together to support someone we have never met because you have touched so many lives in different ways. It will take someone special in your life to accepting of the outright love and support you have from the world outside your keyboard. Many men will feel threaten or jealous at this. But the right one… he will come when its the perfect time,just not maybe when you think its the right time….So..relax, focus on the love and peace pouring out to you from the world and hug that cute dog….life will change as there is always a silver lining in those dark clouds.

  9. So sorry to hear about all the bad stuff going on right now. Love your posts and thanks for being so open you don’t know how many people you helped.

  10. Sweetheart, you have been immensely brave and honest & I suspect that you have made several people feel less alone and sad and angry by opening up. I pray that you find joy in your life. It is important to remember that you have some amazing friends though, hold on to them in the bad times and celebrate them in the good times xxx

  11. So sorry you are having a tough time right now. But you are such an inspiration and so good at what you do. You have inspired me to do a few clothing re-dos of my own (nothing big still figuring out how to sew)and I’m so excited to see the email pop up from you! Keep your head up u will get thru this! Did I mention you are always so freaking cute!

  12. Been there, Sweetie, still am there! When all hell’s broke lose, I need to control something. That is when I am most creative. So right now all I can do is send hugs!

  13. Jillian,

    I’m so very sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time. I, like so many of your readers, have been reading your blog for so long that I feel like I’m sharing in your life. It hurts me to hear about all of the difficult challenges that you are facing now. Just know that I’m sending caring thoughts your way.

    I love reading your blog so much that I’m a terrible sewer and really only do basic things, but I still read every post you write! I really only follow two blogs, and yours is one of them (the other being a Spanish teaching blog).

    That being said, know that your readers understand if you need to take a few days or weeks off for a mental break. Don’t feel like you have to refashion in order to post; we care about you and are happy with just hearing how you are doing, good or bad.

    I know that things will look up for you, even if it doesn’t seem that way.

    You are in my prayers,


    1. Emily expressed what I was thinking so well that I’d like to say, “ditto”. I don’t follow any blogs other than yours Jillian. Yours I always tune into when it comes. I wish you easier times.

      1. Ditto on Maureen’s ditto, and Emily’s original comment. From the sounds of the comments, a lot of people can understand the anxiety and depression and all around shitstorm that is happening.
        Lots of love

      2. Same here. This is the only blog I follow. You have inspired me to refashion clothes AND changed the way I think about purchasing new ones. I feel like I know you because I have read every single one of your blog posts! I appreciate the raw honesty that you poured out today. I will pray for you to find joy in your life, no matter the circumstances.

        1. Me 3…you’re my only blog…and I too cannot sew worth beans! I just like you :) If we lived in the same town…I’d come make you a pillow nest and bring a bottle of wine too.

    2. Ditto on sragreen’s comments. Love you. Looking from the outside, you are absolutely adorable and have many great friends (as seen in blog pics). And a sweet and cool doggy friend. You have great talent and look fantastic in everything you wear; you even look cute in the ‘before’ pictures. But things can look and feel differently on the inside. Tough stuff. I hope and pray your ‘inside’ view gets more aligned with what we see on the outside. Thanks for sharing good and the tough. You are inspiring and a happy place for us!

    3. Another ditto here! So sorry for all the crap that’s happening and prayers that things start looking up soon!

  14. Jillian, thank you for sharing. Know that you are not alone in your struggles with depression and anxiety.
    Sending many positive vibes your way, and to anyone else who is going through a tough time.
    The internet is a wonderful way to connect with people, isn’t it?

  15. I feel your pain…you sound like me 10 years ago. What saved me from myself? A relationship with Jesus. What you say? I’m a Catholic and I believe in God. Believing is not enough…you need to invite Jesus into your life and keep Him front and center…and watch His love and grace pour out on you in everything you do. Find a solid bible teaching church and then GO…and then LISTEN and our Lord and Savior will speak to you. These are not orders…these are suggestions given with love and understanding of your current situation. I am praying for you.

    1. You’re so right, elise. A relationship with Jesus our Lord and savior is the only way to live.
      Jillian, God has given you amazing talents, I would encourage you and all of you lovely ladies posting here to seek Him. My love and prayers are with you.

  16. So, as a landlord who does take pets here are some suggestions:
    Offer a separate big deposit for your pet. Get references (previous landlords and friends) who can vouch for your pet. Ask your potential landlord to come visit you at your current place to see how your home and pet are cared for. Are your doors scratched up? Is there dog waste all over the yard? Ask your potential landlord to meet your pet. Not all landlords prohibit pets. Get them to like you as well as your pet. My motto is: if the pet is a problem, it is because the tenant is a problem…and those kind of folks will be a problem with or without pets! Good luck! I hope you fell better. I love your site!

    1. I second this! I have the friendliest, least destructive dog in the world, but he’s a 70lb pitbull mix which is a huge no-no when renting a house. Last time I took him with me and introduced him to the landlord that said “no bully breeds”. After a few minutes of wagging tail and licking, the landlord said he was okay with my fur-baby. Which is good, because my house-buying plans were destroyed last week when I totaled my car. No new house in my immediate future either, and good luck finding another car for the pittance the insurance is giving me. BUT HANG IN THERE!!! I’ve had depression/anxiety since puberty (it’s like my brain never adapted to adult hormones), there are bad times but there are better times too. You will get through this, no matter how it feels right now. The light at the end of the tunnel is still there, even when depression keeps us from seeing it.

      1. I am also a landlord and I agree. I also think responsible pet,owners make great tenants because they don’t move often. They are not going to move to save 10 minutes on a commute of if they find a place $50 cheaper in a year. Its important to them to have a home for their dog or cat, so they stay put longer. And, a long term responsible tenant is important to me. I wish Jillian lived in Knoxville, we have a townhouse available because my favorite tenant ever and her puggle are transferring to Texas.

    2. What great and useful advice, Loretta. I want to personally thank you for giving our Jilian something she can use to perhaps change her house-hunting outcome. Cheers!

      1. Jillian, consider calling your local animal shelter. Ours keeps a running list of pet-friendly landlords. It is another starting place.

        Thank you for trusting and sharing your life with us! You are my inspiration. Just modified three skirts this weekend….replaced elastic in one, hemmed the second, and took in the third’s sides. Thought of you peeking over my shoulder, saying, “You got this! You can do it!” And I did it! Without seeing your enthusiasm, creativity, and confidence, I would have placed the items in the Goodwill bag, figuring the changes were beyond my sewing ability.

        Life will get better. Take a deep breath and soon this will only be another speed bump you successfully navigated. You will be a-okay. Promise. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  17. I love your blog and look forward to all of your posts You make people smile! What a great accomplishment. At 68, I can say that things will get better. Don’t give up on those “no pets allowed” listings. Meeting the people in person, and having referrals, may make them change their mind. Worth a try.

  18. I’m sorry life is crummy for you right now. :( I really like your no sew refashion though! I love that you can see the potential in anything – even a graduation gown. Well done!

  19. Hey Refashionista,

    Be cool to yourself, ok? Just because you’re having a crappy time doesn’t mean you’re a failure. That positive stuff you put on your blog – it really is you, and you really are that person. No-one else is writing it. The fact that you edit out the other stuff just means that as a matter of choice, these are the experiences you value and want to share and remember rather than dwelling in the rougher, uglier stuff that life throws at us. Your blog is a metaphor for just that – let’s take the ugliest, stupidest thing out there, acknowledge that it is nasty and then turn it around.

    You will be ok. And you will remain an inspiration to others, even on days when you feel like a soggy poop in a cardboard box. The wisest, strongest people I know have been there many times over. It’s how they get that kick-arse perspective on life. Rather like your own. Take a moment, but then go chuck on some good music, and make that ugly blue dress shine.

  20. Jillian – I’ve read your blog for so long, I feel like I know you, but that is just an illusion the internet gives us. I wish I really did know you, so I could help you find your new apartment and give you giant hugs and buy you wine. I’m sorry this is happening. I had a similar thing happen to me, and I hate to say it, but I had to rent a place that said no dogs and brought my dog anyway. It was wrong, but that’s what I did. You could also offer to get pet insurance, that could cover any potential damage Douglas could do. I’m sorry all this stuff is happening. Have you ever read the Desiderata? That has always given me comfort in my darkest moments. Squeezes to you. And… I know you just tied the graduation gown around you, but frankly I would never have thought of that, so it’s still pretty inventive to me. :)

  21. I’m 52 and still trying to balance depression and life. It doesn’t end – but it DOES get more familiar, more predictable. That is what gives you the edge. Being aware – being your own best therapist – that will help.
    My best Rx at the bad times is a nap. Then sometimes another nap! (I think depression is a curse of the creative mind.)
    I would recommend some mega-doses of Vit D right now – like 5,000 iu.
    I adore you and you may be comforted to know how much joy you bring to all of us who look forward to your posts.
    If you need a break, I have a (free) guest room in St Augustine, FL and two REALLY cool teenage daughters. C’mon down and enjoy the beach! Seriously. Great thrift stores here!!!

    1. Jillian should take you up on that offer Terri. Sounds like you could share more than just a room. There is no substitution for experience!

  22. I’m so sorry you are hurting so badly. That can feel very lonely and fearful. You really appear to be a wonderful bubbly person in your posts and have soooooo much to offer the world. You are extremely talented and creative. God is always always with you even in the loneliest moments. Run to Him with your hurts. He loves you more than anyone and can help you find joy. He doesn’t promise crappy things will never happen but he carries you through them. I know because I’ve been through some and watched others dig through the rubble of broken lives and come out alive. I’ll be praying for you!

  23. Jillian, your posts usually make my day but I never comment. So, I’m sending you a giant dose of positive vibes, happy thoughts and giant hugs from frozen Connecticut.

  24. You are brave to write about it :) Your (short) story is very recognizable, i feel with you.
    Like my fellow commentors here, hang on, better and brigher days are near! Hugs

  25. At 71, I have been there, done that and it got better down the road. You inspire me, and I’m sure I’m not alone in appreciating your wit and talent. Hang on. THERE WILL BE A BETTER DAY!

  26. There are a lot of people out here that like you a lot. Hang on it will get better, but you already know that. You’ve been there before. Sometimes, life just sucks, sometimes it sucks really bad, it will pass. You are doing all the right things, force yourself to go out, be with people even if you do have to ‘fake a few smiles’ . The phrase ‘fake it til you make it’ has a bit of truth. Don’t be shy about letting people know that you’re having a rough time, I’m always surprised at how many share that they too suffer from depression. Hugs are important, give and get as many as possible. [[[ many hugs]]]

  27. I, too, suffer from bouts of debilitating depression and it’s horrible. People tell you to perk up and be positive and they employ sympathy (“at least…”) when it’s really empathy you need (“let me make you a nest and sit in it with you”)…there’s this idea that mental illness isn’t as hard to deal with as cancer or heart disease or a simple cold. The truth is, it’s just as hard. I won’t tell you it’ll be okay, because I don’t read futures for a living (too bad, right?!), but I will tell you that it’s just right now and if we’re very lucky, it will get better. Eventually. In the meantime, find something that makes you very happy and do that; spend time with people you love and who love you, too; and hug Douglas because dogs love you no matter how depressed or sad you are – that’s why they’re wonderful. :)

    1. I cannot add anything to this, as you have captured my thoughts exactly. My wonderful Nanny one told me that “sometimes you just need a good cry.”

  28. So sorry that you are struggling with a mood disorder. There are many of us out there to share tips, commiserate with and support. You probably know that February is the worst month due to the cold, and the lack of full sunlight for months. Yes your pics look like you have a fun life, cuz, you do, when you are trying really hard to be happy.

    People with mood disorders try harder than anyone to be happy and look happy to the rest of the world.

    I have tons of advice. I use a toolbox to cope with my mood disorder: Proper medication, a therapist, group therapy (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy helped me TONS!), mindfulness meditation, proper sleep hygiene, don’t miss meals, watch your caffeine intake (can ramp you up, increase anxiety, mess with your sleep), plan pleasurable activities to get yourself out of the house. Even if your house is a mess, you didn’t do your hair and you have a backlog of work, you are better to treat yourself to a movie outing to help lift your spirits. Gotta try and lift the brain fog some how. Watch that you don’t take on too much work and social commitments when you are feeling less than your best. I guess it’s all about balance. The one tool that doesn’t get used by myself often enough is exercise. We are all a Work In Progress (W.I.P.), LOL.

    Congratulations on “coming out” in your blog. The stigma of depression, anxiety, Bipolar, etc is improving. It took me 20 years to talk about it outside of my inner circle.

    Chin up, spring is on it’s way and when people do their spring cleaning, there will be a ton of new thrift shop beauties to find.

  29. I don’t know when things will swing up. I just know that you make people happy. You have my good vibes from Asheville.

  30. I want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed you’re posts. I was extremely impressed with your article regarding the fervor over 50 Shades. It was extremely insightful and well written. When things get really tough please reach out to your friends. As one of your other readers said, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong, curious, and celebrate ALL successes no matter how small. And as for the fella, princess, he was a toad. Lucky for you he’s history. Definitely time for a glass of wine to celebrate.

  31. Please note that I, a reader and huge admirer iof your creativity, also have visits from the Black Dog as do many talented and creative people. Don’t lose hope. You are SO not in this alone.

  32. Ps aren’t pets the best when you’re emotionally hurting? & I’m impressed you have up wine for lent my fellow wine loving sister! I have up chocolate instead! :-)

  33. Hang in there my blogging friend! Just HANG IN THERE. You are an amazing, talented, funny and LIKEABLE gal with more friends than you can imagine. We’ve never met in person… But if we did…I KNOW we would be sharing some GOOD times, and a bottle (or two!) of wine.
    This too shall pass, my friend!

  34. There are going to be days where all you can do is breath, and that is ok.
    I can completely sympathize with your depression and anxiety. I think, from your post, that you have a good grip on your situation. Realizing that you are allowed to feel however you want is important, I think, when dealing with the tough shit. Don’t let anyone invalidate your feelings by telling you they have it harder, thier situation is worse, or you at least have “something”. You can feel however you want, and get over this stuff however you’d like, but I really do hope you do work thru it. You’ve got a wonderful and inspiring blog, and I know I’m not alone in saying I love your posts.

  35. I don’t deserve to be your first post because this won’t be profound. But right now my heart is hurting right along with you like really bad. I want to tuck you into a soft down comforter and make you food and just sit in the house while you nap. That’s the mom in me. Sorry, Hon. Sending good thoughts. <3

  36. Seek help, help in finding a place to live, help with finding a car, help with your mood. There are people out there that live to help you with these things. Just like you lean on your friends, lean on these people who are professionals in making your problems easier to live with.

    1. So true, Judith! And, sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do. Jillian, I’ve been following you for years and I’m always amazed that you can find good ends out of really bad beginnings. Sometimes life is like that too. Friends are wonderful, but they can’t always be subjective. And, yes, life without canine therapy would be unbearable. Keep the friends and let them help you and snuggle with Douglas, but find a professional who can absorb the pain and help you use some of it and throw the rest away. You are a strong woman and you will come out of this on top! I’m rooting for you and obviously there are so many others in your corner too. Hugs to you.

  37. You are such an open, caring, and creative person. It makes your blog more than just an insight into refashioning but an insight in to you and I love it. I’ve been following you for I think 3 years now and will continue as long as you do. Even if you don’t know us, all your followers are with you for your ups and downs.

  38. Awe bless your heart. I only know you through your posts, blog, and refashions. But to hear of your poor luck and situation, I hate this for you! I wish there is something I could do for you. A prayer maybe the only thing I can offer. I hope things get better, you can only go up from here!

  39. Oh, honey. You have a dark cloud over you right now. But this is temporary, and it will pass. Your honesty is so genuine, and so is your heart. Lean on those who know and love you until this cloud passes. You are worthy of happiness and love and you will find it again. ((((((big hug))))))

  40. A lot of this stuff is out of your control, but you deserve waaaaaaaayy better (and cuter) on the guy part :) Here’s to spring and renewal!

  41. i am so sorry that you are going through this. your coworker’s comment is not what i consider empathic (any comment that starts with “at least…” is something to avoid, when someone’s in a shitty situation!), so i don’t blame you at all for your response. and break-ups are terribly awful, especially when you don’t see them coming. depression is something that is so common, but rarely discussed. i suffer from depression and anxiety, too, and i understand how crippling they are. after my last bad breakup, i saw a therapist and honestly those were the most freeing and revealing conversations i’ve ever had. it was through my employer’s EAP so it was free — maybe your employer offers such a benefit? also, community mental health clinics are a blessing. nothing feels okay now, but slowly some things will start to feel alright again. i hope that happens sooner than later for you. just know that all around you, people are willing to help.

  42. Comparisons don’t make people feel better guys. Everyone has their own stuff and it can suck and it can feel like life is just a never ending parade of “let’s see how much bad stuff we can throw her way”. Jill, I hope things get better for you. I’m going to leave out any “at least you…” thoughts because I know how that makes me feel (mostly thoughts of punching in the face). I’m sending good vibes your way and I’ll drink a glass of Pinot Noir in your honor later.

  43. There’s a great book out there called “The Upside of Your Dark Side” that might help if you are a reader. I found it very comforting. Just be yourself.

  44. vibes from France? first thanks for sharing, I check on your blog almost everyday and was wondering what was happening to you.. then, please don t forget you have beautiful hair, a very nice figure, imagination, skills in many fields and fans!! Things will turn around, another car, another place to live in and another man! Keep that attitude you are an inspiration! Je croise les doigts pour vous! Plein de bonnes choses pour le futur

  45. Sweety: You are a fantastic person. The energy and creativity you display when posting is something is an energy drink for me. It is sad that some men are afraid or are not able to stand it, no, sorry, to fully enjoy it. On the other hand your friends are always there for you, you have a job that fulfils you and also have amazing co-workers. The last two not always go together. Even though it does not help now, there is a man, a house, and a car that are waiting for someone like you.
    It is ok if you want to hide on your nest. I am sure when you are ready you will go out blooming as you always have done.
    Meanwhile I have to tell you what a surprised was what you did with the gigantic ugly graduation gown. It can only be possible from a your outstanding mind.

  46. Anxiety sucks. I have finally started meds. Didn’t want too, wanted to be strong enough to handle it myself, but at 43, I hit the wall and getting a doctor who listens and really takes action has been awesome. You have had a tough go, and a literal broken heart hurts like hell, but it does heal, even enough that you eventually hope that heartbreaker has a nice life. You are going to be fine. Things will get better and in a year from now this will be,”remember that month my month went to pot, AND I gave up wine for Lent?!?”

    You bring joy to many, and everyone who reads and enjoys your blog is rooting for you!

  47. Thank you for your honesty. Depression and anxiety haunt my life, too and it is the thing I dislike about myself the most. I’m currently going through the “Winter of my Discontent,” I lost my job in November. I work in a field where usually work you find is temp or grant funded so losing your job happens often. I’m the worst at dealing with it. It stinks how much our identity is tied to what “we do”.

    It will get better but it’s hard to see that when you are deep in the rabbit hole and sometimes frustrating to hear it. You know it will get better but you just want someone to hold your hand during the bad stuff. In a Facebook-dominated world where most people pretend life is perfect, it can make it seem like you are the only one sloshing through a bad time. Know that it is posts like this that make people feel a little less alone. I also comfort myself with the fact that going through bad times make those good days really, really lovely.

  48. I am sorry that you are dealing with so much right now. Life can be so hard, and it isn’t easy to find your way but you are an inspiration to so many. Hang in there and snuggle with Douglas and a glass of wine. Brighter days are coming

  49. YESSSSS! Vitamin D3 with K. Good for your heart (stops palpitations) but it is great for depression. We don’t get enough vitamin D3 in colder climates. We synthesize it from sunlight. Seriously GO GET VITAMIN D3 WITH VITAMIN K. You can also order it online. You will not regret it!!!!!

  50. I was wondering what happened to you. Sorry you have had such challenging times. Another platitude: You have no where to go but up. Hang in there! It will get better. Apparently God thinks you are a very strong person!

  51. You’ve been such an inspiration to me, however lame that sounds. Seriously, like I was so blahhh every day taking my prozac thinking geeze I need a freaking hobby, I need a life and then I came across your blog and was like wow! THIS girl has a life! Look at this life she’s created for herself! She’s taken the opportunity and run with it, shes really made something of herself, made a name for herself. Shes not just one of these rando people you see every day that hides in the shadows. No matter what her past is, or her present is, shes still out there bettering herself and taking life by the horns (isnt that Ram’s slogan or something?) Anyways. You’re extraordinary and I dont even know you but I’m proud of you (in a non creepy weirdo way) because I know so many people who are having a hard time and have shitty parts of their lives and choose to let it define them and just be down and lame and sad and unsuccessful because of it. You don’t do that. You’re awesome. Keep being awesome even when the world is being lame!

  52. I have a PS to my previous comment: I know you are a red wine drinker. If you are not already, drink only Pinot Noir. The ingredients in other reds (Merlot & Cab, especially) are likely agitating your depression more. Pinot Noir is a better choice.
    (As I said, years of experience.)

    1. Apart from sending big hugs and warm thoughts to Jillian, I would also agree with you: it seems to me alcohol is generally bad for the mood, the ways of reacting to live (angst) and also for the body. I’d say sport is by far a better friend and supporter to most of us, especially when things are tough and need dealing with.

  53. I’m very sorry for your pain right now but just wanted to let you know that this is actually one of my more favorite (‘more favorite’?) refashionings. I love the kobalt blue with the neutrals: the (reddish?) brown platform sandals and the striped shirt. I also like the length and the draping of the sleeves you used to tie this thing around you. The material kind of works. I hope you make this into a permanent outfit – perhaps you could still sew it up in places to make it formally a mid length skirt. In any case, be proud of your capacity for love and more power to you.

  54. I’m a member of the depression & anxiety club, too. Thinking of you today and wishing you well. Try to remember that life isn’t a race and strive for one foot in front of the other for as long as it takes. Hang on, lady. Amazing times are ahead!

  55. It’s pretty brave and pretty awesome of you to share the unglamorous parts of your life like this. And it shows you’ve dealt with anxiety and depression long enough and well enough to have a good sense of perspective on it, and to hold tight for the upswing while you work toward improving what you can. Like going out with friends even when you don’t feel like being good company. I will think of you the next time I am righteously bummed, and I might feel a little better. Thanks, and hang in!

  56. I’m sorry that life really sucks sometimes. Anyway, I love that you can figure out just the right way to retie things: if I tried that it would look a hot, wonky mess! And believe me, I’ve tried. I love seeing how you refashion things, because I usually try to guess what you’re going to do with it, and it’s almost always in a different direction than I would’ve taken it. It’s so cool to see how different people’s brains work given the same material!

  57. Today you touched a person.

    I’m half a world away from you, but looking at your blog and reading about what you go through, helps me. I don’t know you, I’m not going to tell you it’ll be alright. I don’t all your troubles and you don’t know mine. But whenever I see that you’ve posted a new refashion, I always smile. A little thing. But a smile in a sad place is like a candle in a dark room.

  58. Please remember to be kind to yourself. Sadness and depression can be so debilitating, it is so hard to wait it out. You may not be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel because it is just around the corner. Go somewhere and watch the horizon, literally. I read somewhere it helps your seratonin levels. Sending you healing and happy vibes :)

  59. Depression sucks :( but you don’t hun, you are an amazingly talented person who inspires me every time I read your blog. The world will forgive your down days simply because you put so much into your good ones. Curl up in a ball pig out on junk food and then come out fighting, I need you xxxx

  60. So sorry to hear all the downers in your life. The good thing? They are all fixable! Stay focused on the positive, and take it day by day. (You are building character!). Here is a sign from my sewing room, that I bet you can relate to…..Yard by yard, life is hard. Inch by inch, life’s a cinch! Love your blogs! We are all rooting for you!

  61. Most real post ever. Now try to hang in there. Enjoy your friends and don’t give up. At some point it will get better. Not sure when or how. But I can relate to your post and understand.

  62. So sorry that you are going through this difficult time! You don’t deserve it. You are such a positive upbeat part of my life. I enjoy your posts tremendously. I wish I could give you a hug. Things WILL get better…I know they will

  63. I have just found your blog and I love it.. Your ideas on refashioing clothing are a joy to see so I appreciate everyone whether regular or not. Wishing good things for you.

  64. I love your “realness”. I’m sorry for your pain. Having a chronic illness myself, I understand that up and down pattern and that sometimes the ability to do the most mundane of tasks just leaves me. Nurture yourself, let your friends nurture you, and say lots of prayers, no matter to God, to the Universe,or to the Great Pumpkin.

  65. I so understand. I struggle with those same things, and it’s so frustrating. Hang in there, things will look up again. It’s okay to be sad for a while though, that’s why there’s wine and Netflix! :) You seem like you have a great group of friends around you.

  66. Hi I am Julie. Although much older, married, etc….I can relate. You have a style of writing that is very true and kind to yourself and the reader. I appreciate your honesty. We are human and it feels good (although I don’t wish depression on anyone) that I am not alone either! You are managing quite well for all the crap that has happened. Ha! Facebook is like this too….some share all the good giving false life fronts when things are really crappy. So, anyway, I am sorry you had these things happen, and wish you the best in going forward even at a pace of baby steps! I will continue to follow your fascinating blog because you have great talent! I sew and recycle clothes too, but not like you! One day at a time…try making a gratitude list…that helps me when I am down.

  67. It may be extremely difficult to fathom, but just put yourself in another state of mind. Picture yourself in a happy place. Just try it. When shit happens, the negative takes over and snowballs from there. Don’t let it. Have hope in yourself. You’re above ground & that’s what matters. It could be worse-all can be solved. Cling to those positive people in your life and put more effort into what you love to do. You have SO MUCH TALENT! Good luck!

  68. I:
    1- understand.
    3- hope you feel better soon.
    4-Honestly am very inspired by the work you do, and hope you realize that you are having an impact on a lot of people, and that you really matter.

    Thank you for your honesty. That takes real courage, and it’s so important.

  69. im not going to tell you I understand what you’re going through, because I don’t. And I’m not going to tell you that it gets better, because that’s not going to help you right now. I do know what it’s like to suffer with lifelong, random, effed up depression, and I am really sorry you are going through this right now. I know you don’t know me, but if you ever need a stranger to talk to (haha!), please look me up- you have a lot of people who care:)

  70. You are an amazing woman. What you do touched so many people. It’s ok to deal with depression and anxiety, many of us do, too. Thank you for sharing. And seriously, no one else on earth could rock that graduation gown skirt like you!

  71. I am so happy you shared this with us….I am so sad you are going through this or maybe I should say continuing to go through this struggle as I hear you when you say, it has been a “lifelong” struggle…..I pray you find the help, support, love, joy, purpose and meaning that you have longed for….Please know this, I look forward to seeing all of your posts…what an incredibly talented lady you are!!! The other day I was surfing Pinterest and came across a board that said “This girl is REALLY amazing”…it was YOU!!! and I thought, yeah, I know her and she IS amazing….and others had commented about how amazing your designs were….you are touching lives with your refashion’s and with your story….Peace, Love, and Happiness are being sent your way……and the perfect house for you and little man <3 . P.S…..please don't go into hiding, we LOVE your smile, forced or otherwise <3

    Jeanna Hanna

  72. I hope this vent gave you some release. It’s very hard to experience such devastation all at one, but even harder to share with others. Especially when we see such life and joy in your posts. Now it’s time to create! I know you may not feel like it, but continue to take baby steps back into your passion for fashion (cheesy; I know). But seriously, ease back into it (ie, wrapping a graduation gown around your waist). I know when I’m working on a project, it takes my mind away from the stressful things in life. Put on some good music and embrace all the positives that remain. Please know that it will ALL get better. And remember EXTREME PRESSURE produces Diamonds!!! Get ready for your life to shine!

  73. Sorry you’re going through a sucky patch. But you are awesome and so fortunate to have amazing friends around you, so don’t forget that. Thanks for sharing the good, bad and ugly with us. I appreciate the honesty and bravery.

  74. “Well…at least you can drink wine! I gave that up for lent. Just trying to put a positive spin on it.”
    ‘You know what I’m going up for Lent? Putting on a positive spin on things when things are just plain shitty.’

    Wow, you’re a jerk. If I were your coworker that’d be the last time I ask you about your personal life lest I get my head bitten off again for showing some human empathy.

    1. Spoken from someone who has not had a friend affected by anxiety or depression. Thats a kind response from someone who is affected by both conditions. Mom, you might want to evaluate your ‘judgy’ tones on the internet.
      Dr, Rosenbery, Ph.D

    2. Yeah Mom, your the jerk. Are you so freaking dense this is the only thing you can come up with to comment on!? I bet your a narcissist to boot. Shame on you, I feel sorry for any kids you have, as they are going to need years of therapy from having been raised by a brick.(you)

      1. Ps. There’s nothing wrong with therapy or needing it, it’s a wonderful resource. Being complicated and fully emotive are one of the best traits we have. We are not robots. Crappy narcissistic moms who constantly criticize with snarky backhanded comments are who I really feel sorry for.

  75. I’m sorry your life sucks right now. I understand how horrible you feel. Go make yourself a nest. There are many of us who fight with depression. Some days we win. Some days are a draw. Much love to you.

  76. Girl I so feel for ya, and I’m right there with you. Last week was pure hell for me. My kids were sick, both of my vehicles broke down, I’ve used up most of my yearly vacation time at work due to sickness and weather, my cat died and my husband left me in the middle of it all because he couldn’t handle dealing with it all. So I’ve been left with a 16 year old, a 1 year old (both girls) and without being able to see my 9 year old stepdaughter who I adore like my own, no real good vacation time left and one vehicle broke down and the other needing work still. And, like you, I try my best to be happy and stay positive but have dealt with depression and anxiety and the stress is beyond normal limits right now. But, I just want to say I admire you for still refashioning and trying to have fun. You inspire me!!! And this grad gown tie up is great!!! Keep on keeping on and I hope things get better for you.

  77. No words of advice to share, just letting you know I’m proud of you for being so brave and open and honest. I look forward to your emails in my inbox and today was no different. I hope the dark cloud passes soon. You bring joy and happiness to others you don’t even know. Sending you love and hugs.

  78. Wow. I too have suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life. And, apparently, as I have found out recently, ADD. I have had times when I have spent most of my energy making people believe that I am just fine. Cheerful is my middle name. I just make sure there is always one safe person that I can tell “I am in trouble here” that won’t judge me, tell me to just get over it, but will force me to get help. At the time it just seems so hopeless. How brave of you to post this.
    I love your refashioned pieces and your pictures of you wearing them with a glass of wine with friends. I have wished that I could have that kind of circle of friends.
    You combine my love of thrift shopping and sewing. Post when you can and know that you have many that love you and respect you even more for your struggles.
    From another sewer and survivor.

  79. Don’t ever feel bad about feeling bad. Especially when so much suckage has been heaped upon you all at once! You are dealing with, like, three of the top ten stressors all at once – wallow in it! Or if you don’t like the word “wallow” (it does sound rather undignified, doesn’t it?), face it, embrace it, and deface it! With poo! It’s great that you have wonderful friends to reach out to when you feel like it, but don’t be ashamed to curl up with your sweet puppy and do nothing for as long as you can stand it.

  80. Thank you for sharing. I haven’t written my blog for months because I have had a mixture of very happy and very sad topped with work craziness. It’s not a great mixture for me–or for posting. Perhaps I should follow your example and just get back to it. Thank you.

  81. Hey Jillian,

    Wow, what a heartfelt post. In some strange way, this makes me care about you much more because you have struggles. Sorry if this seems callous but that is how I feel. My take on life is a very clichéd “Things happen for a reason”, if only to make you grow and evolve. When I feel bad, I try to look at people who are less fortunate than I am, and there are plenty, and that usually makes me appreciate what is going right in my life, if only that I have all my body parts and I am relatively healthy and pain-free. That being said, you do need to wollow a bit and get it out of your system so you can pick up and continue to bulldoze through life. Get some good food, good music, good drink (but not too much wine though, as it can have opposite effects) and write what you are feeling. You can even do symbol-fire-destroying things you don’t want in your life anymore. And then, manifest what you want to happen to you. And gratitude works girl ! I know you will be better because you are a strong and dedicated woman. Big hugs !!!
    And when you are ready, go have a look at this tumblr:

    Peace !


  82. (((((Hugs!!))))) Life sure can suck. It’s more than ok to be pissed about all the crap. I’m so glad you have great friends to reach out to!! Friends rock. Hang in there, it’s gonna get better soon. Thanks for sharing…it takes courage to put the realness out there. I suspect you will reach more than a few people who are also struggling and it will bless them to know they aren’t alone. I’m always amazed at your ability to see past the yuck of a dress and see its future beauty and I think that ability will see you through this rough patch. Sending good thoughts your way!!

  83. Do you believe in serendipity? I found your page on Stumble and signed up. This is the first entry delivered to my email, and I have an idea that could really help you cope with some of the stuff that is making your life suck. I’m thinking fate sent me to rescue you. You can dismiss the idea out of hand, or you can say, “What the f**ck” and give it a try. I’m not going to go into why it will work, because if that interests you, you can research it yourself. I’m just going to point you in the right direction, because in this complex world there are so many wrong directions that if you don’t get that little bit of luck, you could go on looking forever and never stumble into what you need. Give it a month. If you feel better, give it two. Do it because it feels right. Keep doing it because it feels great. Are you ready to feel better? (Scroll down a little. I was trying to build suspense here.)

    Go vegan.

  84. Jillian, you are such a Champ for sharing! I am 60 years old and have been battling depression as long as I can remember. As of today, I am still winning! :) It is always a challenge. and I think maybe it has made me stronger, more compassionate and understanding. I wish I could give you a great big hug. All the comments here are so right on. Give yourself permission to be depressed, nest, get it all out. But put a time limit on it. When the time is up, Go Get ‘Em! I live in Columbia SC as well, in the St. Andrews/Irmo area. I wish you much success in finding a new place that is pet friendly! Use those who follow you in the area to get ideas for properties to rent!

    “On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that’s pretty good.”

  85. As a fellow blogger, I totally can empathize with this post. I am so grateful for your putting what is going on in your life, and salute you for your honesty. I have followed your blog for a long time, and this one is my favorite. Depression and anxiety are big challenges that people think you can just get over. As an RN and as a person who has the same challenges,I get how we can be our own worst enemies in coping when crap happens. You probably refashion as an outlet, and sometimes, when things are the worst, we don’t have the energy for our outlet. Then we beat ourselves up for not doing what we love. Your talent and spirit are inspiring. Find what gives you peace every day, thake it one day at a time, and take care of yourself. The rest will come. Thank you for sharing!

  86. {{HUGS}} I know how hard it is to find a rental with dogs, but keep at it, you’ll find something. Maybe look into a house on a bus line, so you don’t need a car… Sorry, I like to try to find solutions for people

    1. I wish the bus system in Columbia was even halfway decent, but it’s pretty much impossible to live there without a car. Even if both your apartment and your job are downtown, if you’re not right at Five Points you’re still walking a couple miles to the grocery store and the drug store, and it’s exceedingly unlikely that your doctor, dentist, vet, haircut place, etc are all downtown or on a bus line. And if your job isn’t downtown, it’s almost certainly in an office park or shopping center surrounded by busy roads with no pedestrian access and the nearest houses are miles away in enormous residential neighborhoods surrounded by their own busy roads. It would take a lot of buses to connect all that sprawl, and Columbia barely even tries. (And it’s not just Columbia — almost every American city is like this, regardless of size.)

  87. I can list every silver lining, another door opens, things happen for a reason cliche here, but i won’t. Make it your time to shine! (Ok maybe just one) You’ve got this awesome blog and tons of followers who wish you nothing but the best and are rooting for you. I’m sending all the positive vibes I’ve got your way. Hang in there.

  88. So sorry your going thru this dark patch. Love your blog and you always make me smile. Prayers for healing, peace and joy.

  89. Thinking of you and sending good vibes. Life is a journey – sometimes you think that you are going to drown in all the crap but more often than not it doesn’t happen – it’s just the universe leading you down a different path. I know that you are surrounded by friends – they can’t always make it right but they’ll cry along with you xxxx

  90. Jillian,
    I have been there so many times in my 56 years that sometimes I look up and go, “what gives?!?” A gorgeous co-worker told me back in the late 80’s – and I’ll never forget it, “you’re like a cat, you always end up on your feet.” Since then I’ve said that to myself so many times that I discovered something. When it feels like it’s as bad as it could possibly be – I experience a miracle! I’m so tuned into it now that I can look over the issue and say, “ok miracle, it’s show time!”, and then something breaks free. Just as there are valleys there are also peeks so get ready for that shift toward the good… it’s on its way. Sending good energy to you always :)

  91. Hey, FWIW, there are a lot of us crawling in that nest with you, to give you an encouraging hug. I recognize those black-cloud seasons you are speaking of; but please know that there are thousands of us out here whose lives you touch with sunshine, creativity, humor, and hope! The good thing about seasons is, they are just seasons . . . They eventually shift into something else. So keep on doing what you are doing (refashionista), because it blesses and encourages countless ones of us!!!!!!! Here’s a thimble-full of love (or a wheelbarrow-full if you need it) to help you weather the storms of Life and get you to the next season of It!! “Keep on keepin’ on”!

  92. Thank you for sharing. That you’re going through all this (and I sincerely hope it sorts itself out really soon) and you found the motivation to a) do something productive and b) share it and your honest feelings with us, I find really inspiring. You have inspired me to take up refashioning and you inspire me to keep going in positive and creative acts even when things are bad – thank you.

  93. Thank you for sharing your life with us and being real. I am right there with you, right now sister. Good vibes sent your way.
    p.s. the nest thing- yes.

  94. The internet can be a pretty mean place. I think you are super brave to share your wounds with your readers. I hope it helps to know that you have legions of Refashionista readers with an ear to listen (or an eye to read with!), shoulder to lean on and a head to nod knowingly. Be gentle with yourself.

  95. I’m so sorry you are sad. You are not alone. Breaking up sucks!! I have abandonment issues so breaking up seems like the end of the world for me. You are a beautiful, smart and strong woman. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will be dancing again!!

  96. I don’t know if this would work in your area, but I put an ad in the paper once when I couldn’t find a house to rent, described my situation (kids, dog) and what I was looking for, multiple people contacted me (well, two), and I found a place that way. Good luck!

  97. You have lots of strength to come out and talk about your anxiety, not easy to do. Thanks for being an inspiration to us! I have some refashion projects calling my name and this post has spurred me into action. :)

  98. When your mood disorder stops being a pain in the ass roommate and your mental health is doing good things for you, I’d support you on Patreon. You are so talented and we love this blog, which means we support you. It’s not unreasonable for us to financially assist your creativity and talent too. Maybe our support can normalize your fiscal life which will lessen those burdens for you. Until then, sincere and loving hugs from Colorado.

  99. Jillian, I am so sorry for the pain you are in. I think your refashion post and having drinks out with your friends shows great strength, I know it was really hard. Depression is such a terrible Demon….. I hope you and Douglas find your new home soon. Sending you a big hug, Susan

  100. When you “put it out to the universe” the right people hear and good things and the right help come along! Wishing you well, I miss the “happy you”! Take care of that puppy, because they always make you happy! Sending positive vibes!

  101. I’ve been thinking about you a lot and waiting for a post. hang in there. I’m sorry it’s so shitty right now. Who else can tie a hideous graduation gown around half their body and look like you belong on a runway? You make a difference in my life and have reminded me today that even though I, too, am in a shitty place, I can still stride to be creative. Sometimes it helps.

  102. Hi, my 19 year old daughter showed me that cartoon the other day. She suffers from depression and anxiety too. As a Mum I just want to fix it, but I know it doesn’t work that way so we keep stumbling along together. I am trying to help her with coping tactics for the bad days, and we’ve had a few. Each time someone shares I find it helps me understand her a little more. Thank you for sharing, I love your blog and I hope things start looking up soon.

  103. *Brings Blankets*
    *Builds Nest*
    *Crawls in with you because life is shitty here too*

    Hope things feel less shitty soon, and thankyou for both a refashion which proves even minimal effort can look good AND for sharing.

  104. I kept checking your blog, you’ve been such an inspiration! Sorry to hear it’s a rough time right now. Depression+stress+crappy life events=misery. Been there. Got a loved one with depression/anxiety as well. Thank you for being brave and forthright and sharing with us.
    Leonard Cohen said “the cracks are where the light gets in”. Hugs, hugs hugs.

  105. You have lots of readers who care about you.

    Also, this blog is hilarious, and never fails to reduce me to hysterical, crying laughter that is good for your soul: She also suffers from depression and talks about it. The one titled Dog is my favorite. I know it’s not a solution, but hope it brings a smile to your face as your posts do for all of us.

  106. I love your blog!! I wish I knew you personally! You inspire me and make me smile, I would love to return what you have given so many times. You are creative, inspirational, strong, witty, a great friend (your friends prove that on your posts)and an over all great person. I am so sorry you are having a rough time right now!! Just know you have impacted many in a positive way and positive vibes are all around you right now. Thank you for sharing, I know you have helped many (including me) with your blog today. Many good vibes, blessings and hugs sent your way.

  107. I enjoy your blog so much. I think you are pretty amazing – creative and talented.

    I don’t usually comment but I want to tell you I am praying for you. I care about you.

    I have a daughter who has also struggled with depression her entire life. Watching her struggles has been the hardest thing to do as a parent.

    My heart breaks for you.

  108. Jillian, Thank you for your blog, I have been a faithful follower for years. Thank you for your honest and brave post. I understand. I have been there. You are a beautiful and creative person who has inspired me to look around and to be open to the Possible. Sure, that started with your fun refashioning of clothing, but I now catch myself thinking, “how can I give this (thing) new life?” I am more resourceful and less wasteful and I contribute it to your example. You are loved, you are valued and you have made a difference in my life. Cheryl

  109. Thanks for sharing. I go up and down all the time. Only the degree of ups and downs is different. I love your posts & cannot wait for the next one. I was thinking you could count your followers & divide by half. I think at least half of us would donate/pay/contribute at least $5 to get you a decent car. We’ve been benefitting from reading your posts. Hit us up girl! Provide a link to a donation site. At least we could get a down payment together– so you could go back to house hunting. Also, buy a car from a private party that your mechanic/mechanic friend has looked over to save bucks.

    1. You are incredibly sweet. Fortunately, I do have enough saved up/good credit to get a car to replace my old one. But that’s very nice of you to say.

      1. Jillian,
        Not to be a bully, but I think you should reconsider. I realize you’re probably uncomfortable soliciting donations from your followers… but think about it. Remember how your friends told you that you do your best work outside of work? I think that totally applies to your blog here. I am sure that running this blog (and doing all the refashions thereof) is enough to be a part-time job all by itself. You’re supplying wonderful, creative content that people obviously love to read, and you don’t get paid a cent for it. But it’s not wrong to profit off of it. You’re an artist! You make such fabulous work! And you’re also a friend to thousands around the world.

        I don’t want you to feel I’m pressuring you into something you’re not comfortable with. But if you’re holding back just because you feel it’s wrong to profit off your blog… well, I don’t think you should. We want you to be happy and healthy. We want your precious fur baby to be happy too. *I* want you to be able to buy a house. You’re a lovely creative spirit – I want you to own your own house and be free to do whatever you want to it and decorate and paint and everything, rather than stuck in a lease in a building you don’t have so much control over.

        I am sorry for this sleepy ramble; daylight savings has me all messed up!
        I wish you all the best. Be sad for as long as you need. It’s all part of the healing process.

      2. Jillian,
        Make the opportunity available for us to bless you in return for the blessing you have been to us…

    2. My thoughts exactly! I was reading all the posts to see if anyone had set up a fund of some kind!

      Maybe in this case our positive thoughts, prayers and messages are more helpful?!

  110. Oh Jillian my heart hurts for you. You always bring such an unexpected moment of joy to my day. I pray you will find joyful moments for yourself. (Virtual hug)

  111. It WILL get better. Won’t go into a lot of my own personal shizz, but, you are not alone with what you are dealing with. Do you not realize what a Rock Star you are? Seriously woman! You are effing amazing!! You have more shine and talent in one little finger than most people have in their whole hand. Take things one day at a time– and if that seems like too much, then take them 1/2 a day at a time. Focus on the new job and what great possibilities are ahead for you. Get out for walks with your baby boy Douglas. Get out with friends when you can. And don’t be afraid to ask for help if/when you need it.

  112. Depression and anxiety are vey hard issues to deal with. No advice. Just know that I and many others hate to hear you are feeling low. One thing I do know is that things will get better! You were pretty brave to wear the graduation gown as a skirt, and it looked fine!

  113. Chin up !!!! You have been through quite the ordeals but just when things seem the darkest there comes ray of sunshine. I have been in that situation where it seems like EVERYTHING has turned to sh*t but all of a sudden something great happens ( an awesome guy, a great find on a rental, or a big wet lick on the face from your dog) and it warms your heart and you really start to believe that all is going to be good !

  114. Hey, I forgot to say, I loved this refashion. The skirt is a perfect elegant length and a lovely color. Wondering if in person, anyone can tell that your skirt is actually another type of garment. That would be fun–to interview people–on what they think. Anyway, I love it and let me know where I can send my $5+ for your new-to-you car.

  115. Jill, you are so awesome! I look forward to your blog and sharing it with my daughter (who reminds me of you).We have even bought our first three outfits to “refashion.” Life will get better and you mean so much to so many. We all have stuff-I could write a few thousand pages about my stuff. BUT you will get through it and you will be a better person for it! Thanks for sharing and my prayers are with you.

  116. Jillian, I’ve followed your posts for a few years now and would have never imagined your struggle. I am truly sorry. It’s brave to be so open and honest. Wishing you happiness and hope you find someone who is worthy of you and loves you for all you are. I enjoy seeing your creations, you awe me with your amazing talent. . Dawn Burcham

  117. Ma belle, j ai souffert de dépression et je sais qu on a le droit de ne pas être bien sans raison et sans s excuser !!! Tu es merveilleuse, et tu as eu le courage de nous en parler !!!! Je t admire beaucoup pour ça. Si tu as besoin, laisse couler tes larmes, ça enlève le ” mauvais ” qui ne doit pas rester en toi.
    J adore tes ” refashonista “, ton imagination est impressionnante !!! Prends du temps pour toi, seule ou avec ton chéri ou tes amis, et reviens-nous, please, je suis impatiente de voir ce que tu vas faire de cette “chose ” bleue !!!!! Je t embrasse bien fort et te fais un gros Hug !!!!! Nathalie.

  118. Hey, well done for sharing. What a shitty few weeks! Life is so frustrating and crappy sometimes isn’t it!? You are awesome and so many people like and care about you, so look after yourself, keep going, and things will resolve themselves Xxx

  119. Thank you for your honesty :) I am glad that you shared your struggles. And I hope your friends surround you will love and laughter to see you through this trying time. And always remember Eeyore was sad all the time too but his friends still wanted him to be with him because they loved him :)

  120. Wow that is quite the week…. I don’t even think I could handle 2 of those calamities let alone all of them! Hang in there lady. Know that all of us random internet strangers are rooting for you and sending you our love and light! Hugs and no worries about blogging or refashioning. We will be waiting for whenever you feel ready! <3 <3

  121. Thank you for having the courage to post the down as well as the up. I will add my voice to the “It will get better” chorus and send the wish that everyone has their own nest maker. And to add that this re-fashion is a public service, there are millions of grad gowns out there.

  122. I read a fair few blogs, and out of all of them you are one of the few bloggers who I will notice when you don’t post for a while. And not in a annoyed way, just in a “I haven’t noticed a post for a while, I hope she’s ok” way. You come across as a genuinely lovely person which is why I like your blog.

    I hope things get better and you find a rental and you get your car fixed. If you don’t feel like blogging whilst you sort it all out, then don’t. Just promise us all that you won’t vanish forever!

    Sending massive good luck vibes your way xx

  123. I know exactly how you’ve been feeling. I’m sorry you had to go through that crap. I suffer from depression as well. I hope things straighten out for you and you find the true love of your life, The best place to live, continue loving your new job, and remain a great re-fashionista!!

  124. I’m so glad that you mentioned that you suffer from Anxiety & Depression. I feel there is comfort in knowing I’m not the only one.

    I feel people with depression and anxiety FEELS life and life events so deeply. Which can be good and bad. I hope you take time to let yourself heal, pamper yourself, eat comfort foods. You deserve it.

    I love how you went out with friends, and made an attempt to get out there. You are doing the right things.


    Sonja Doyle

  125. It may or may not help you to know that this blog is helping me get through the same thing. It’s actually been three years (!!!!) since I’ve dated someone because, sorry, but having the person you love most in the world tell you they don’t love you anymore can really wreck people that are those creative types. But sewing things, fixing things that were once discarded, is therapeutic. And that’s great for someone that can’t afford therapy :)
    I really hope you take care of yourself. This site means a lot to people, it really does. And I hope that means a lot to you.

  126. Hi Jillian. I love your blog for lots of reasons . Your wit, the clothes and because you are real. Sorry to hear that life is so tough. Anxiety and depression are tough . I wish you lots of support and know that you are an inspiration to many. X

  127. Hey Jillian.
    I wish I would go without the ‘I really know how you feel’ crap but my explanation wouldn’t be complete. Back in 2011, I was with a guy who I loved more than anyone else, I was about to graduate university and move back to my hometown to live with him in a house we both reconstructed to feel happy and create a family into. Then shit started to blow in my face: he broke up with me two months after he proposed to live together saying he didn’t feel about me like he used to do and wanted out; it was 2 weeks before my university graduation prom. I went on that event with my eyes swollen with nonstop crying, with a dress I lent from my aunt in the last moment because I didn’t feel like getting out of bed and existing whatsoever. Then a month after that, I got through my finals and graduated, and they kicked me out of dorm right away, and I wound up homeless in the capital city of my country where rentals’ prices hit the skies. So I was forced to move back to my hometown to live with my parents and remained unemployed for the next half an year. Oh, and all my friends were in the capital, and I was in the countryside, alone and sore.
    Needless to say, I felt like shit. And I suffered through the pangs of such a mighty depression that I don’t even want to remember those times. But then I found a job, a good job with a good salary, and I met the most incredible man I didn’t even imagine existed – he was my coworker, he still is but now he’s the Man who’s always by my side. I’m back in touch with some of my old childhood and highschool friends, and made a ton of new ones. Me and the Man used to live in a rental but two years ago we bought our own place, we bought a car and everything. There are miserable times, yes, but the good stuff outweigh the bad by large and far.

    I’m sending my good thoughts and energy your way, and as a proper follower may I state that you are soon to have (or recently had) a birthday, young lady, so buck up! :) I’m certainly hoping that you’ll get a great deal of happy for your special day.

    Many hugs, Sylvia

  128. Things are going to get better. You are a good person :)
    A lot of us know the depression highs and lows… the trying to get through the day being positive… when what you really want to do is break stuff. And scream and cry… then break more stuff. Then you do break stuff. Then get angry for breaking the stuff.
    Bad things happen in 3’s… let’s hope that things start looking up.

  129. So sorry for all the bummer stuff you’re going through. I think you’re really special and hope you feel better soon. In the meantime, be good to yourself. Retreat to your nest when necessary. I’m rooting for you.. Namaste’

  130. Sending you all the good vibes I can manage! We’re in similar emotional places right now, so I feel your pain. Let yourself feel those emotions without allowing them to overwhelm you (good advice, but hard to follow through, I know). You’ve got this!

  131. I hope this pain soon passes for you. You are in my prayers and many others that I can see care for you also. Be good to yourself, take care of yourself as my sister says to me “this too shall pass” and it does….hugs.

  132. I love the nest!! Sending hugs your way! I’ve been there, feeling completely insignificant to someone I thought was my whole world. Worse yet, my sweet 4 year old held me as I was sobbing, telling me it was going to be alright. I was supposed to be doing that for her! Yes, it all gets better, you’ll see. One moment at a time, ok? Magnesium spray and vitamin B2 should help you feel more like the self you are when you’re happy – spray it on the bottom of your feet for best adsorption into your body. Also, what scent makes you happy? Go to your local co-op, get a roll-on applicator and an essential oil that makes you happy, dilute a few drops into a liquid carrier oil, and roll on your happiness.

  133. Oh my gosh! I’m so so sorry to hear it. Have another glass of wine girl. I’ve been there! Things always seem to get worse before they get better BUT they DO GET BETTER!!! Chin up honey! I’m thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way. xoxo <3

  134. I’m very sorry that you are going through rough times. Please know that we care, you are a wonderful creative person and I’m pretty sure you have people who really love you and always pray for the best.

  135. Sending you light and love in this tough time! Like many have said your blog is the only one i truly follow AND i don’t even sew. I am inspired by your creativity.

  136. I’ve never posted before either. YOU are the reason I got so interested in refashioning. It takes guts to admit to suffering from depression. I’ve dealt with it most of my life as well and I know it wears you out being “up” all the time and just getting through the daily routine. I admire your strength, persistence and talent. There are a lot of us cheering you on and hoping that spring will help ease the pain. You’re in my prayers.

  137. You inspire me with every post. I’m so sorry life is being a dick. I think you’re brave. You seriously made me laugh and cry with this post. You’re the only blog I follow and I always look forward to your posts, because you keep it real. I hope everyone shows you lots of love during this shitstorm, and that you remember you’re loved by even strangers, and that you’re still inspiring in your temporary lows. xo

  138. I absolutely love your blog and you truly are an inspiration to creative individuals everywhere. As clichè as it is, I genuinely believe that everything happens for a reason (as I too endured some pretty awful years including a scumbag bf, a world of addiction, leaving jobs because of a new and evil boss, having to move back home after said scumbag took every penny from me, totaling my car, etc.). But as things turn around for you, it will be clear why the crappy stuff had to happen. Just know in the meantime, how much joy you bring to your followers! There have been plenty of times where I’ve isolated in my bed for fear of contact with the outside world, and your blog was the only thing that kept me from losing all passion and motivation. Hang in there! Good things are coming your way :)

  139. So sorry that you are going through this difficult time! You don’t deserve it. You are such a positive upbeat part of my life. I enjoy your posts tremendously. I wish I could give you a hug. Things WILL get better…I know they will

  140. I am sorry to hear what has come down on you. As the saying goes…when it rains it pours….kinda like the weather this year. We don’t dig our way out of one storm until another one hits. I too suffer with depression. I know, that you know, it almost buries us, but then we rise for yet another fight. I’m glad you shared. I do not remember how I found your blog, but I remember going all the way back to your beginning. I wondered if something much bigger than this, latest sadness, has happened to you in the past? I know when I am buried in my depression, I feel that I am the only person with a problem. I already knew I was not, but reading the comments, proves there are many of your followers in the boat with you. I am a great listener but I do not give advice. Best thought to you.

  141. I’m so sorry you’re going through a tough time. I’m sending tons of positive vibes your way. You’re a wonderful person, and you deserve happiness and fun in your life. :)

  142. Depression, anxiety, effn don’t want to sew? Yep, been there, still there, sometimes. Maybe we were separated at birth? ;-) I’m sorry you are going through all this. It sucks. Hope it gets better soon. I loved your creative “graduate” skirt, btw. :)

  143. You are amazing. I know it does not feel like it at the moment. You have a lot of support, whether you realize it or not. I look forward to your blog – you bring joy. Thank you for being you, no matter what the circumstances in your life at the moment, you are an amazing and beautiful being. Thank you for sharing your creativity and your life. You are courageous and wonderful.

  144. Hi, thought I would drop a line and was amazed at all who had. Love your pet. It lives back and when your ready we will see you again

  145. I’m sorry you are dealing with the bottom dregs right now. I trust that soon you will turn the corner and all the car/home/etc will be a memory. In the meantime, take a bath, get a massage, drink hot chocolate, do whatever you want! I love your refashions and look forward to reading many more. Take Care, Ally.

  146. Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry you are feeling bad. Sometimes words can help and sometimes they are just words but just to let you know, I love your creativity and your finesse in refashioning sad, sad garments into fashion stars. This too shall pass, take it from a 68 yr. who has had some less than positive moments in her life. Love your posts and would love to lift a glass with you. Hang in there babe!

  147. First off, I love you blog & dog! I have suffered from sever depression for years. I hate it. On the days that I cannot “force” myself to be “happy”, I just veg on the couch with my dog & watch movies. It’s okay to have a pity party everyone once in awhile.
    When I found out last October that my job was being discontinued & my last day will be this June, did I cry about it? You bet! I gave this company 25 yrs of my life & they are kicking me (and about 10 others) to the curb. So, I have decided to change a negative into a positive. I get a really generous severance package & this gives me an opportunity to start a new chapter in my life (goodbye corporate america!).
    Just remember that you have friends that care about you. Even though it’s hard, when you are having a bad day, call one of your friends that can always make you laugh, tell them you are having a bad day and you don’t want to talk about it but that you need them to make you laugh!
    Just remember, that this is your life and you don’t always have to please everyone. Take time for yourself.

  148. Please remember that this WILL pass. It IS NOT permanent. Please make sure to nourish your soul as best as you can right now. Nourish your body even though it is difficult. Remember to breathe deeply. Get out every day, do not totally isolate yourself. This too will pass, it is not forever. You will come through this tunnel when it is time. Hope will return to you.

  149. I’m so sorry sweetie :( i struggle with depression and anxiety and know what it’s like when everything….just. Sucks. I commend you for your refashion! When I’m struggling I’ll be lucky to even put on real clothes and be human at all. Keep hangin on…

  150. Hey lady, I know what’s it’s like to have to try so hard to be happy. I think the best thing to do is go easy on yourself. It’s okay to feel bad. And you’ve got great friends it seems. So just saddle up and ride out the shit show!

  151. Lots of folks have already said their encouragement, I hope it helps a bit to know that so many readers are also people who care. Sending my good vibes your way. Also, “lame” or not, I’m digging that skirt and you totally rocked it.

  152. I’m sorry you are going through a big rough patch. I deal with depression and anxiety too. The cartoon you posted reminds me of a website and book Hyperbole and a Half. You may relate to it. I did. The ‘depression’ toons start here
    By the way I love your graduation gown skirt. The big bow on the hip calls to me. :)

  153. Sorry life has handed you a truck load of crap lately. It doesn’t feel like it right now, but this too shall pass.

    I’m another blogger than rarely ever mentions family and sometimes has absences from my blog due to happy, creative busyness, or deep stress and depression.

  154. I’m wishing good things for you. You are one ofthe most creative people I know which means sometimes things aren’t always going to go so good (it just seems to go together for some reason). Have courage, keep the faith and carry on. You will make it lady :-)

  155. You have given happiness to countless people, myself included. I also have anxiety and take medication to control it. You are very brave to share your struggles. Look how many people are there for you. You have so much to offer. Things will get better. You are not alone. You are a bright, bright light and you will prevail.

  156. I can totally identify with your comments about depression….you are NOT alone! You ARE fabulous! AND, things WILL get better….this, too, shall pass!
    Massive props to you for sharing your thoughts and feelings!

  157. Hi Lady,

    I am a newer follower of your blog, because I was looking for ideas about recycling and reducing consumerism for my blog (shameless plug–sorry). I found your blog about two months ago, and I spent a solid Saturday night and well into the next Sunday reading your posts, because I loved it so much! First of all, you are a true inspiration, and you are amazingly talented, and just seem so cool. I love the voice that you use on your blog–you are so genuine, and friendly that I think your readers just feel like they know you. Right away, I was like, “Oh, it’s my new friend Jillian!” I shared your blog with a bunch of people, because I just love the concept of what you are doing (recycling fashion) and it was such a fun read. Plus, you work in the non-profit/development/nebulous social services world (I do too!) and you love your dog (I have pugs!) and you sew (I started teaching a sewing club for 2-4th graders at the school where I am the Development Director!). You have inspired me to start doing refashions and my last trip to the Goodwill was a totally different experience.

    Anyway, I’m writing all this to say that I care. From Wisconsin, and though we’ve never met or anything, this post made me worried and wish that I could help somehow! I too have a very strained familial relationship, and have dealt with anxiety and depression for like, as long as I can remember….I have been there when the Universe answers the “Seriously, what could go wrong next?!?” question in a way that feels even worse, like a crushing weight. It does always get better, but hearing that when things are sh*tty doesn’t really make anything FEEL better in that moment. Hearing that people have it worse off than you also doesn’t help (except then you just feel like things are sh*tty for everyone and you can’t do anything about it).

    The only thing that does help me a little is picking a date on the calendar (like a few months out) and being like, “In June I will have an ‘I survived the last three months’ party.” Like, a milestone to give me something to look forward to, and to give me a marker to know that I will at least make it through until that point, where I can reassess or whatever (or at least have a fun thing to look through the fog to the horizon on).

    I have those exact same graduation gowns at school. I might try something with one! The skirt was very cute! Can’t wait to see how it turns out. Hang in there, kitty. Sending you good vibes and cheering for you from Wisconsin. You WILL find a place to live with your pup. At the very least, I think that will definitely work out. You can do this! <>

  158. Dear Jill, I see an outpouring of love for you right here. I hope it helps you feel better. I believe you know what to do and you know how to recover. You will be ok. I have been enjoying your blog for quite a while now and wish you success. Count your blessings because they are many.

  159. Wow, you cannot know how many people you helped today. Like all people with depression, your M.O. (method of operation) was no disguise. So many of us are in the same boat or have been the same boat, or worse, trying to get to the boat.
    So many of us reading your post want to give you a hug or scoop you up and take you away.
    You are not alone and if you are working towards managing your depression that’s half the battle- and make no mistake -it is a battle.
    When you don’t feel like a refashion, I’d be equally interested in your journey.
    You touch so many people in so many ways, I so appreciate your candor more than you can know.
    Having lost a husband, job, and ultimately my house to my own depression, i can hardly believe now that i survived.
    Better still is that it feels like it was another life.
    Please know that despite not knowing you personally, I (like so many of your fans ) feel a kindred spirit with you.
    Keep blogging, there is lots of love out here for you.

  160. I never comment on here but I love reading your blog! I know exactly how you feel, I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety for a while now and yes, there are super fan-freaking tastic days and then there are those horrible, wanna just hide from the world days. It seems those bad days overshadow all the good. I know there are better days ahead, there is a light so where at the end of the tunnel. You’ve gone through it befor a,d you will again. It sucks, it hurts, and it seems never ending. Just know you’re not the only one and this too shall pass! Thanks for being a refashioning inspiration! I’m working on loosing about 90 pounds and so looking forward to using all your refashion tips and ideas when I get there!

  161. I’ve never commented but wanted to share some good vibes. I love your posts and especially the way you say “whirrrr” when you are making stitches. Your little quips crack me up! And i love how I feel empowered to makeover my whole wardrobe after I see your refashions, even if I am not half as good as you.
    This too shall pass!

  162. So sorry, Jillian. Life really sucks sometimes. Putting yourself out there is courageous. Talking about depression and anxiety isn’t done enough and I applaud your openness. It looks like you have some good friends to help you through this rough patch. Focusing on the people and things that make you happy is good medicine. Personally, I found yoga to be really helpful – even if you just do a video in your house. Whatever happens, just know you will find your way. We’re all rooting for you.

  163. I so love reading your blog posts, because you are REAL. You don’t fake the ‘all is well’ all the time, and it is a breath of fresh air compared to all the cutesy blogs that are out there. I’m sorry that everything bad had to happen all at once, but things will turn out right again. I’m hoping for sooner rather than later for you!!
    So I hope we are sending enough collective good ‘juju’ your way, and things that feel like are falling down around you are really just falling into place.

  164. Ok, so here is what we know; You are awesome. We also know that life is a toilet.
    Some days, one simple flush and all the shit disappears.Other days, your toilet backs up and you have no choice but to wade through that shit, do some work and get that toilet flushing again! Generally, this means that there is some shit in your life that you need to face. I have been living with a walking depression like yourself for over 20 years and while I look all smiles on the outside, I am just waiting until I can be done with this garbage and finally have some peace inside. But in the meantime, I will warrior through.

    Right now, my fellow warrior, you need to take a much needed break. Close the lid on your toilet, use a friends and neighbors for awhile! ;) Go for a walk, scream at the top of your lungs, have a good cry and let yourself feel bad! After that, get creative, send out a call for help online, email all of your contacts and see if anyone knows anyone who will rent you and your awesome dog a place to live! As well as a good deal on a used car! You have a bigger network than you think and through your efforts, have already shown your character to be one of integrity, honesty, intelligence, with wit and humor. In this day and age of fundraising sites where people are ready to help all sorts of strangers, how can we not help someone like you?
    Curl up, close your eyes, little sister and wrap yourself up in the love that is coming your way from all over the world! We can’t let our bright light go out now, can we?!

    Come on Universe, let’s find this girl a home, a car and some love……

  165. I remember going through eerily similar circumstances a few years back and wanting to shank the next person who chimed “this too shall pass”. I won’t tell you that in case it elicits a similar feeling. This morning though, I read “you’ve survived everything up to this point, chances are you’ll survive this too”. So glad you have nest mates to help you through this time. Prayers and positive vibes for you…

  166. i think you’re just great. i admire your work here on your blog and frankly, when i’m sad and blue i get a look to your work and i feel better.
    being sad is awful. last week i was there too. just let me give you a big big hug. and let me tell you great days are really coming.
    i would also like to introduce to you a very special lady, called Louise Hay. i think she’s also great. she is inspirational for me too. i think you and her have lots in common, at least me as a fan :))
    i think she’s right when she says that we need to love ourselves. and the rest of it will come. and the depression will go away.
    hearing that you’re great won’t really help you maybe. please trust your little shining star…
    i live in france and i’ve just discovered jacques prévert, it’s poems are so simple and so great.
    hugs and trust and glad i’ve discovered your blog

  167. I have missed your posts recently. I’m so sorry all the bad stuff seems to have piled up. Thank you for sharing what’s been going on. I hope that things are looking up and please know there are lots of people that you may never meet that think you are perfectly fabulous!

  168. praying for you, dear. I struggle with the same and it sucks. Thank you for sharing your life with us in your blog! You are a very special girl!

  169. Jillian, I always love reading your blog and get so inspired by you to refashion my thrifted finds. For me, it started with the black polka dot dress you refashioned….I found a polka dot mess from the 80’s, and intended to turn it into a dress but somehow cut it too short and it became the cutest top instead! You have inspired people all over the country and started a movement! One of the reasons I love reading your blog is because it’s so real… lay it out there GF and that makes your writing interesting and personal…we get a glimpse of the real person in the blog. Also, you take risks with the refashions, go sans makeup, act silly, and then you are always surrounded by friends and find the coolest parties to go to. Thank you for so many fun, silly, real posts…very entertaining!
    I’m sorry about your current sadness, though. Have you seen a doc about this and looked into some meds? Also, possibly therapy? Check with your employer about an employee assistance benefit that they may offer discounted rates for. You are a wonderful person and spread a lot of happiness to so many people and these 2 suggestions are given through care and concern. I love your blog!!

  170. Hi Jillian, I’ve followed along for awhile but have never commented – I just wanted to say that your posts always make my day and I love how accessible you make sewing. I’ve always been an avid second hand shopper but never had the courage to try and refashion things until I saw how easy it was on your blog. I’m so sorry to hear how shitty things have been lately, just know that there are a whole bunch of us here out in Internet world who think you’re fantastic and are rooting for you. Thanks for being so honest and open – you’re changing the world not just in fashion but in mental health – you’re raising awareness even if you might not be consciously doing it. I hope life cuts you a break soon :).

  171. Thank you for posting this .I have depression, anxiety, and OCD. I started a blog last year, about crafts and cooking, but I felt that I just couldn’t do it anymore. A lot of stuff has been going on in my life, and I haven’t felt motivated to post any happy crafts or fun baked goods, but some day I will. It will get better, it just takes time. Annoying but true. Your fans will wait for you!

  172. Thank you for being courageous enough to share your struggle. My beautiful 17 year old daughter also lives with anxiety and depression and has done so since she was way too young for us to figure out what was going on. While it’s true that people with these illnesses suffer and survive in different ways – I can’t know exactly how you are affected- please know that someone understands. I understand! Thank you for your honesty, and quite simply, thank you for being!

  173. Shame girl, I feel for u. But know no man is worth ur heart break…. I endured the same for many years until I discovered my worth in one man and the way He sees Me and treats me and feels about me is the greatest feeling I’ve ever had. His name is God. When u have a relationship with Him u don’t need a man in ur life.
    Never the less many years down the road I’ve met the man of my life the one God was preparing for me while I was with all the wrong ones. Like u say the one u want to feel is ur special person and visa versa. Please don’t give up, God has given u such talent I love ur blog. Put all u have into ur Special talent, ask God to help u give it all u got and all the rest will fall into place xxx

  174. Not crazy about the refashion, but you rock everything you make so you go girl! Thanks for putting yourself out there. The refashions usually just give me a chuckle, but sometimes they make me go hmmmmm. Glad I’m not the only one who has to work hard to be happy…fake it till you make it! Cheers!

  175. Sweet girl, I know right now life “sucks” however, i promise you things will get better. They always do. For right now its ok to feel shitty & let your self grieve. Put the “brave face” in a drawer & have a good cry. But, only for a day or two. Then pick yourself up & dust the shitty right off. You can do it. You are young, smart, super talented and your readers LOVE YOU!!!!! Fight on!

  176. Ive been with my partner for 7 years in January, Lee told me he loved me Christmas morning, then had his ex mistress (with whom he has a 13yr old) for Christmas dinner. Didn’t say anything to me. I ended up asking her if she wanted him back. She said no. We agreed to keep between us. Lee and I talked things through, he apologised for not telling me. We agreed to move on, together. Had a lovely Sunday.   She told him Monday night. He came in screamed at me, took his stuff, left key and blocked me from Fb etc.
    Had a Happy New year xx text from him, I replied, nothing.
    I can’t be alone, can’t stop crying, can’t eat or sleep. Hurt so much I’m numb. James is upset because I’m crying so much. Mums at wits end. Not allowed my phone for more than 5 minutes whilst supervised.
    I’m a mess. A real complete mess.

    Ended up in Dr’s on Monday being put on antidepressants and sent for psychotherapy.
    So I text him to tell him just how bad I am, he texts, what time is he picking me up for work Christmas do on Saturday? I didn’t know what to say, I wanted to go, wanted to see him. He text throughout week, did I want to go swimming etc Saw him briefly Thursday,  it was weird, he seemed sad, I asked if he was sure he wanted me to go on Saturday,  he was.

    We went, it was strange to start, but we talked, we ended up in bed, it felt right. We had a cracking night, fell asleep wrapped up in each other. Woke and made love twice, went to breakfast and then for a walk along canal.
    We talked more all way home, agreed to continue talking but we were together and prepared to work for each other.

    Went to sewing course. Had call on way home at 9 last night.

    “I’ve been thinking about the weekend and yes we had a great time but I’m still angry with you and we’ve never sat and worked things out. I don’t feel I want to be in a relationship at the moment, I feel like I’m not living my life for me but for someone else and I want my life for me my way, I need to be selfish for the 1st time.
    I promise not to see anyone else until we do sit down and talk things through properly but I don’t know when that will be. For one thing I’m not interested in anyone nor do I want to be. I only want to spend time with Josh.”

    I’m numb, crying, paranoid, feel worthless, alone, lonely, unwanted, hurt, anxious. I’ve barely slept since Christmas, I’ve lost a stone. James is so sad and worried about me. Mum can’t cope with me being anything less than strong.

    Counselling isn’t for another week and a bit and the 22nd was supposed to be our 7th anniversary.

    Crap is not the word.

    So now it’s today…. I’m on higher dose and very slowly beginning to feel less like a nonexistent frumpy ugly unimportant worthless fool….. I’ve started reading again, 3 books in a week. Tiny tiny tiny steps. But I even smiled a little bit…….

    That was Xmas and January. It’s now March and I’m beginning to see the wood for the trees. I’m walking my puppy with a smile. I’m enjoying coffee with friends. I’m laughing with my son and I’ve even found the hoover.

    You’re not alone, just be gentle with yourself.


  177. “I’m one of those people who have to try really really hard to be happy. And sometimes, especially when things seem really awful, I can’t do it.” I understand this all too well. You’re the happy people person, so you’ll be fine,right? I have no advice, just a sincere wish that things get better for you.

  178. THANK YOU. Getting outta bed some days can be a real bitch, and most days I feel like I’m the only one who’s like that in this world. It’s kinda comforting knowing I’m not the only one. THAT SAID…. I’m having a glass of wine, toasting my favorite re-fashionista & sending very happy and positive vibes from So. Cal. You’re totally not alone and I’m rooting for you!

  179. Sending you love and many hugs from Canada. You are a wonderful person ( easy to see from reading your blog) truly creative and caring of others. Wish you lived closer as you could just make a nest in my downstairs area and stay as long as you needed. You would wake up and see gorgeous cherry blossoms right now. And a cute doggy that would be a good buddy to your Douglas!
    Take each day the best that you can. Keep the lines open to your local friends ( isolation is a downer).
    Hope reading all these comments lifts your spirits, even just a bit, cause you really are loved in this challenging world. By posting the reality of your life right now, you have opened a conversation with millions of others.

    We are loving you now and forever.

  180. Girl, I get you 100% I, too have that same depression and anxiety thing and that same down disposition that has been there since I was a kid. I hope things get better super soon. I totally understand how hard it can be to have depression to begin with and have all this crazy shit happen around me. Keep in mind that you do bring happiness to others and inspire others. Hell, you’ve inspired me to pick up my art stuff many times. <3 Keep your chin up, Sweetie. <3 <3

  181. I have never commented before but I get email updates on this blog and I feel compelled to tell you how much I appreciate the raw honesty of this post. How real it is. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows and perfectly refitted dresses that cost $1 and know that while I am so sorry for your tough times, sometimes people going through things may use blogs to escape their own troubles. To see life through someone else’s eyes and this post reinforced the normalcy of everything being fucked up sometimes.
    Depression is a MF and anxiety makes the bad worse. However, things look up usually. Not all at once. But step by step and it’s the struggle that makes the good times that much better. I will hope for you that life improves and even when there is no positive spin, there IS wine. Sometimes shit sucks. Well, it sucks a lot. I’ve been there. I am there. And I’ll be back there.
    I’ll refrain from trying to uplift you. I’ll just applaud your honesty and bravery in exposing this part of you to the world. And tell you to just keep holding on. Just hold on. You’re doing well with that so far.
    Looking forward to the post where you tell us everything has evened out.

  182. I know I’m just a random stranger from the internet, but I still wanted to comment :) I’m sorry so many horrible things happened to you this month. It sounds like a nightmare. Sending all my good thoughts your way, and hoping that you can keep on going until things start looking better.

    Please be kind to yourself, and take the time you need. We’ll be here cheering you on.

  183. Jillian, So sorry you are going through this really hard time. As you can see from all these posts, there are a lot of people that really care about you and wish for you better times. I hope and pray those better times come around for you very quickly. You are an inspiration to a lot of people with your creativity and positivity and fun-loving nature. I for one wish I had your talent, insight and gutsiness. If we were all closer, we would take you out, cheer you up, and help you find that perfect place for you and Douglas. You are a great person and deserve great things. Believe it or not, they will come to you. Don’t give up, just keep on going and you will grow stronger and come out even better. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Get out in the sunshine if you can and go for a run with your dog. That may help to lift your spirits!

  184. I understand where you are. What works for me is work at one hour at at time, when i get thru that hour then, i work thru the next hour. Don’t don’t let your mind go any farther ahead than the hour you are in now. That helps keep me focused and not become out of uncontrolled anxious.

  185. I’ve never commented on your blog before but I just wanted to leave a quick not to tell you how much I admire you. Especially after this last post. You are brave and strong even though you probably don’t feel like either right now. You are an inspiration to so many. Thank you for sharing your world.

  186. I have read your blog for I think several years now and they always leave me with a smile on my face. You do have a positive outlook on life, at least as you portray on this blog, and it touches people. There have been some really crappy days for me that you have allowed me to escape, even for just a few minutes, but seeing how someone else on this big blue globe is living and gets my mental gears going with your fashion inventions. And this post is no different. Thank you for being brave enough to let the intarwebs know that there is more going on behind the scenes than what you see before you. Thank you for taking the time to even do a refashion on this post. Is it your best? No. But I am so thrilled you 1) got out of bed, 2) did a refashion, and 3) still took the before and after pictures and posted pictures of you with your amazing friends. Thank you for being you, but also for sharing “you” in the way you do. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I think you’re super fly and enjoy seeing you happy and making others happy. *magic sparkling rainbow cue*

  187. Hang in there honey! I TOTALLY understand where you are right now. The hardest thing is to get through each day sometimes but YOU can do it! When you get down just think about how many lives you touch on here and brighten OUR days! Love and hugs your way!!

  188. Even in your hard times its important to remember who you are, you are a kick ass re-fashionista that inspires people on a daily basis. Even though you might not post everyday, everyday someone is reading one of your posts. Mental and or emotional disorders are the one thing that are shared by the most successful people on earth and thank you for owning it without shame and making it okay for others. I admire your resilience and bravery, your passion and innovation. Being that bad ass is hard work and I and many others appreciate it.

  189. Depression and anxiety are such a struggle. One I can so identify with — I’m going through my own ups and downs with it. You’re so not alone in this. Mindfulness is something that’s showing promise for me, and I get a lot of joy from yoga.

    Take as much time for you as you need. Do what you need to in order to look after you. (Something I need to be doing for myself more) I hope you and your dog find a home soon, and that you find the best car you can!

    I really like the image Cassie shared with you above.

  190. I hear you. I have had those days when getting out of bed was the most I could accomplish. And pretending is so exhausting that it’s easier to just pull in and hide. And boy, do I ever know what you mean about the break-up – looking into the eyes of THE one and feeling suddenly invisible, as though I am a stranger. It is really alarmingly disorienting, as though the planet tipped a bit on its axis and you can’t quite get your footing.

    Have you ever read the blog “Hyperbole and a Half” She wrote the best thing that I have ever read about depression. It’s not any kind of a Guide to Get Out of It but I found it so comforting somehow to know that someone else really GETS it.

    I wish you peace and healing.

  191. I’m sending you hugs and love and good vibes and praying for you and climbing in that nest with you. xoxoxoxoxoxo

  192. Your blog is an inspiration, but that doesn’t require you to be happy all the time. I’ve had some shitty things happen, and smiled all the way through them because its just easier then telling people why you are sad or stressed all the time. I think it is really brave that you share the good and the bad with your loyal readers. All i can say is hang in there, sending you big virtual hugs and wishing you the best of luck finding a new place for you and Douglas.

  193. Thanks for being so honest. I think peoples’ online lives look great, but reality is hard to show to the outside world. Your helping people by being honest.

  194. *hugs* I’m glad you have good friends to hang out with, and I’m sorry you are going through such a hard time. I’m a fellow anxiety sufferer, and I’ve lived with it a long time as well, before I even knew anxiety disorder was a thing. Sending you all the good energy I can, and I gotta say, even though it was a “tie it around yourself” refashion, it (and you) looks damn good! <3

  195. I’m so sorry you’re going through this right now. There is something very therapeutic about stepping away from productive life for a minute to rebound, I personally choose to live in bed and watch BBC dramas when stuff like this happens, but you don’t have to do that. Find whatever activity makes you feel a little less crappy and dive in for awhile. We all like you and think you’re brilliant and are excited to see how you will inspire us next. Take your time. We’ll still be here. Also, dating sucks, until it doesn’t, and one day it won’t.

  196. Wow you have had a full plate, I have been in a similar situation, keep your head up, your a very strong woman to have endured all that you have for this long. Your blessings will come soon enough.. you inspire so many women around the world…remember that.. There is Nothing you CAN’T do. You got this!!! Thank you for being so honest with us!! We’ll help you. Support you threw this..

  197. One of my most favorite quotes (and I have no idea who said it first) is “Life is hard, but we can do hard thing”
    I always enjoy your blog, when I look at my email and I see ReFashionita in the list of unread emails I get a little smile.
    You are honest with your readers, the fact you try so hard to be positive and happy for us, I think gives you all the more reason to just let some of the those bad days be bad.
    I love this refashion, sometimes the best ones are just that simple. That smile is great, FAKE it until you FEEL it!
    You’ll always have my support!

  198. Hi I just wanted to say that I think you’re fantastic fr being so strong. You’ll get through this- I promise. Crossing my fingers that everything will work out for you. All my love!

  199. thank god for moody creative women…brain chemistry can be a bitch. breakups an even bigger bitch. hang in there. this too shall pass. hugs hugs and more hugs but only if you’re up for it. dive into the healing bosom of your friends, great job, and your creativity, they will probably save you. but honor and cherish your feelings every single last one of them up or down, happy or sad, it doesn’t matter, they are what make us human and beautifully human at that. take care, meaning self-care, self-care, self-care.

  200. Hugs and all the good thoughts and vibes I can muster. Sometimes we just have to give ourselves credit for getting up, getting dressed, and actually making a go of it. Because that’s so super hard to do in and of itself, let alone deal with all the other crap that comes up.

    I think you’re a rock star.

  201. After reading your blog for so many years I strangely feel like you are a part of my life and it pains me to know that you are struggling. Just like with those I know in person I want nothing but wonderful things for you. That being said, thank you so much for your openness and candid honesty. Hard times are not failures, they are what make us human and as much as they suck are the things that show us what we are really made of. You got up, you were creative, you walked out the door with your head held high even though the world has done so much to kick you down. That’s something to celebrate! You never know how the little things you do day to day impact people and your openness with this post may have helped someone off the ledge by letting them know everyone goes through the sadness they feel. Here’s to the good things that await you on the other side of this rainstorm! Cheers to you!

  202. Oh my Refashionista, I have been where you are, and on more than one occasion. My world was gray. Nothing but black and white and gray. Anxious and depressed, which caused me to be in a circle, not wanting to get out of bed, but wanting to get out…..well, you know. I finally went to a psychiatrist, went through a lot of weeks of talk therapy. I also got on a mixture of medication that does not interfere with my otherwise normal life. I saw colors and heard the birds singing.

    Please get some help with all that, then you won’t worry if you have someone or not. It helped me, and I stayed single for a long time, 15 years. Later in life, I met my current husband, and we have grown old(er) together.

    Your style, pizazz, and bravery is what makes you a great, intelligent thinker. Don’t go any longer without some help. You’re world will be so much better. If you don’t have insurance, or can’t afford to go, a lot of places will charge according to your income. Additionally, if you can’t afford your medication, most manufacturers will assist you in getting what you need.

    I need you recreating things again. You give me inspiration. Get better.

  203. I look forward to your blog posts and am thankful you have the courage to write about everything, even when it stinks! I thought the grad gown tied at the waist was perfect…and cobalt is a great color!

  204. So sorry that you are going through a rough time. I frequently struggle with depression and anxiety and I know the struggle is real. I hope that something positive comes your way soon. Meanwhile, know that your openness helps others. I applaud your no-sew attempt, and getting together with others. It shows your spunk and determination to not let it get the best of you.

    You have inspired me, and I have dug out my sewing machine in the last few months. My goal is to get a spot cleared, so that I can actually use it. Meanwhile, I started a Pinterest board for myself for refashioned clothing ideas, and purchased a few thrift store items that I am going to refashion. One step at a time. Now if I can get over my anxiety about getting started and screwing up, I will be rolling along. Your sharing of even some of your not-so-fantastic pieces helps me with this.
    Thank you for who you are!

  205. Jillian you are awesome. You inspire so many people. People all over the world read and follow your blog. You have so many wonderful artistic talents. Try and remember these things during this shit storm. There is always a bend in the road whether we can see it or not, it is there. Hang on sweetie.

    Your no sew refash was awesome (as usual) very fitting for the upcoming spring :)

  206. I’m sorry the universe is dumping all over you right now. I hate that. I’m not going to give you any of the there there platitudes because I also hate those. I too suffer from anxiety and depression and craptastic series of moments where I look up at the sky and have to cry out, “Seriously, are you effing kidding me right now?” What I will tell you is I think you’re awesome, you’ve actually made Columbia look like a fun place to live. I’ve lived here 12 years and am not a fan, but reading your blog I think ya know, maybe I’m just doing it wrong. You’ve also made me look at clothes in a whole new way and one of my best friends from Kindergarten is doing refashions now because of your blog. I will too, I have ideas, I just have to remember how to thread my sewing machine. I hear that’s important. I’m sending you some positive thoughts so you can handle all the plot twists being thrown at you.

  207. Love the highs and lows of depression. It looks like you are not alone and will never be. Just know there are a lot of us who care and will keep you in prayer :)

  208. I love your blog and have come to love to as well. So many people deal with depression and anxiety – thank you for being brave enough to share your story! It’s exhausting to always put a smile on your face. Chin up! You have more supporters than you know!

  209. Oh my heart goes out to you darling girl. Never let someone make you feel less than the perfect fashionista that you are! Look how far you have come. Your life has been so busy, especially in this past year. You’ve seen much success and it’s only just the beginning! Try to let this one go. When you think about it, you’ve got so much going on that you might not have had enough to give your all in a relationship. I so enjoy watching your creative expression through sewing. You are a true artist. Someday you will come across someone who totally appreciates who you are and what you do and want to raise you up as high as we want you to go. Keep putting one forward and follow your instincts. They’ve gotten you this far so you can count on them taking you all the way.

  210. You are a generous and kind person and I so admire you for sharing the bad with the good. Sometimes I read other blogs and feel like my house is gross and my relationships are lame, until I realize they only post the good (and fake the lighting)! You make me feel better with your human-ness. I’m pretty sure that’s not why you started this blog but I appreciate it. With all the good you do, I sure hope to see some return to you soon.

  211. I am so sorry things are so crappy. I understand how droression smd anxiety can screw up your life. I admire you for opening up about it and I truly hope things change for the better soon. Smart of you to see your friends too-I tend to hibernate and be a recluse and that’s not smart you have lots of fans who are your supporters Take care, my friend
    And I LOVE LOVE LOVE thevwsynthatbsirt looks on you !!
    Meredith in MC

  212. I do not love my husband of 30-whatever years, and my dog is my soul mate. Most days, I fake a positive attitude and fool everyone, myself included. But we have wine and we have refashes–YAY! <3

  213. You are a nice person with a kind heart – never ever forget that!
    You are very brave sharing the bad as well as the good – never ever forget that either!
    It will pass and you will be happy again – just hang on in there – we have stuff we have to deal with even if we don’t feel confident or brave enough to share.
    Sending you huge cyber hugs hun xx

  214. I have nothing to add that hasn’t been said already, but keep being your badass self. The world totally kicks our asses sometimes, but it will turn around, one small thing at a time. You are an inspiration to many, and valuable to complete strangers, so how cool is that? We love you. Take care of yourself in whatever way you need right now.

  215. My heart goes out to you. I am sending you positive and healing energy. Just want you to know I have a 12yr old daughter who is autistic. She thinks you rock. She never wants to try anything new. We could never find any hobbies she would try. I sew but she never wanted to try. I did not push. One day she came in and saw I was looking through your page and she wanted to look. Fast forward a couple of hours later. She loves your page. She now has started an area in her closet of clothes to make over. She also now has a little Pixie Signer sewing machine. This gave me hope for her. She has always wanted to dress different from everyone else but was scared people would make fun of her. She saw the pictures of you in public having fun and that struck a chord with her. She has several strikes against her in life. She is one of the shorter girls in class and everyone knows she is a little different. But she wants to be like you. Everyday she ask if you have an update. My family and friends have started letting her “shop” in their closets for things she can make over. Thank you for being you and sharing it with the world.

  216. My heart goes out to you as well as my prayers. I also suffer with high anxiety and severe depression so I know what your going through. I’ve had a horrible few weeks as well. My mom died, moving, loss of a pet etc. keep on keeping on and continue to head in the direction of positive changes. In the meantime plod through…

  217. Hang in there Chica. Be happy when you’re ready. Not for anyone else. Just for you. I look forward to your posts, whenever they arrive is fine with me :)

  218. A brave and honest post and I am so sorry that you are going through this shit right now. Try to seek help where you can (doctors, friends, any professional help re finding a new home). It’s a tough time for you and you’re going to have to go through it or round it – through it is the hardest, but I hope you come out the other side soon a happier person. I know we can’t help from “out here” but we are most definitely sending you positive vibes. Take care x

  219. Jillian, can you tell from the posts that we all feel like we know you? You’re very human, we all have the same ups and downs….trust me.

    When I turned 39, in June 2009, I demanded To God, you need to bring mr a man or a house!! I had been a single mom for 14 years. 1 month to the day, I put an offer on my house. 2 months to the day I moved in. I tell this storie to friends and they said, “I think you got the better of the two.” Makes me laugh. I was “married to my house for 3 years, always painting, fixing, pulling weeds. It was my “husband”. Then I met someone and was married at 43. I love him but his pro blames become mine and I realized that’s why God didn’t bring him into my life when I demanded, I wasn’t emotionally ready. Today I am and feel stronger than ever. A good friend told me something that completely changed my attitude, “you have Cinderella Syndrome. You’re waiting for a man for your life to begin” she was right. I’m not saying you’re this way at all. So I poured my energy into something that wouldn’t hurt me, or leave me until I said so, my house. This is your sewing. You love it. Force yourself to stick with it and you’ll start feeling normal again. Tackle one issue at a time, don’t overwhelm yourself. You’re only one person and can only do so much!!

    Hang in there. We all still love you.

  220. So sorry all that has happened to you so close together. Love your refashions! Love Douglas, Love your friends and Love you. Ask for help. You have everything going for you and you can do whatever you need to to make it work. Just look what you do with ugly dresses.

  221. Bless your heart. Praying that everything turns around for you soon! You are an inspiration even when the going gets tough! Sending many many good vibes your way!!!!

  222. I love your posts, but I understand your pain. Depression has haunted my family for generations! I’m the third generation, and I’m afraid it’s gone on to my daughters. I will pray for you for things to get better. I also hope you get professional help…it has helped me enough to get through the tough times. If one medicine doesn’t work, keep trying different ones until you find one that DOES work! Good luck with everything you attempt.

  223. I can relate. I also have battled depression and anxiety since I can remember. I say brava to you for posting even when stuff is shitty! Most of all, I really admire you for your honesty and your willingness to be vulnerable. Thank you.
    I love your blog, and now I love it even more!

  224. Oh you little sweet thing. we’ve never met but as a blog follower, my heart hurts with you. I just want to hug you and tell you this too shall pass. And until it does, I’m here with you. Thank you for giving me the privilege of sharing your journey with you. I will be praying for your hunt for home and transportation. And for your spirit. That God gives you hugs and encouragement from all over, web and face to face.

  225. Oh Jillian, I’m so sorry for your struggles. I have a close friend who shares your pain and I just want to remind you to let your friends be there for you. They hurt with you and only want to help you through the tough times. That being said, I think all these comments make it obvious that it’s not all about the refash…we love to see your spirit and creativity whenever you can share it. Your followers (even if we don’t sew) are behind you all the way!!!! Positive vibes that things will turn around!!!

  226. I feel ya on the depression and anxiety. Sometimes it’s just really hard to be happy. Sending you virtual hugs!! ((Hug))

  227. Ugh.. depression and anxiety are evil twin bitches. I hate it when people tell me to “hang in there”. Although they say it with the best of intentions, sometimes life just sucks balls… I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s not fun, it piles on for what seems like forever. All I can say is I can relate and I wish you peace and hope you can find joy and humor. (there’s always humor if you have a dog) <3 <3 <3

  228. Oh dear, Jill, so sorry for what you’re going through…
    Keep your chin up, you are being loved. Hang in there!
    Hugs & huddles & wishing you well!

  229. You are entitled to be unhappy sometimes. We love seeing all your goofy upbeat posts and we love to share in your silliness, but we all have bad days/weeks/months… And we can all just suck it if we have any complaints about you being human. :)

    I also suffer from depression and anxiety. It is better now than it used to be, but I still have some pretty awful days despite my desire to just BE happy.

    Not to be a pessimist, but I firmly believe in “when it rains, it pours.” When we’re having our bad days, everything that can go wrong seems to do just that.

    I know it’s been pouring for you, but I and so many others are happy to share an umbrella.

  230. Well thank heaven for friends! Sorry things have been shitty for you. I’m sure you helped a lot of people by venting. We all need to know that it’s normal to feel that way and that everyone has a lot of levels besides their public face. Depression is so common and so misunderstood.

  231. First, graduation gowns are so stupidly expensive for a1-time wear! I think your maxi skirt is perfect.
    Second, thank you for bravely sharing your journey with us. We readers are your fans and will eagerly wait for you, no matter the length or reason for your pause. You don’t owe us anything except for your own well being. Sending love.

  232. I too just suffered a sucky year! But I didn’t get nearly as much positive comments on my blog about it. ;-) There were ups and downs and plateaus, but things seem to be improving, as I finally start a new job tomorrow. I’ve been reading through your blog, so I have this crazy belief that we will both get through it. I look forward to the return of the refashion, because it means a return to normalcy for you.
    Much love from Texas.

  233. While hearing that things will get better is nice, it doesn’t help with the agony of today….I think you helped both yourself and countless others with your brave posts.

    I don’t have an answer, but I do have empathy (especially about the missing family).

  234. Thanks for your honesty. I also suffer from anxiety and depression, and I understand what you are going through. Sometimes I can’t think about making it through a whole day at a time. During those times, I just think “one foot in front of the other.” You bring a lot of happiness to others. I hope you can find comfort in that.

  235. BIG WARM SNUGGLY HUG! Actually love the refash! Just one thing and then no more “meaningful” platitudes; it takes a STRONG man to be able to care for someone besides themselves. Ok done. One more hug and then good luck with car and home hunting!

  236. I’m so sorry for the tough times you’re going thru right now. I hope your life brightens really soon. And that little cartoon you shared? I have someone who creates that little haven for me where i can find comfort and peace- his name is Jesus! I pray that you would find comfort and know things will improve!! Annette

  237. I am a very new reader to your blog and I love it! You are creative, cute, and a good writer. My heart goes out to you sister. You are authentic-keep going.

  238. Sending you many warm hugs x many of us using social media show the sunny side rather than the other one x May your down be shortlived and may you find the most perfect and gorgeous new home for you and your lovely dog x depression is never easy, regardless of how much you have or don’t have in your life, one step at a time lovely x x x

  239. Good wishes and internet wine! And I like the skirt — very elegant.

    Idea — maybe your vet or Pets Inc. or one of the other shelters has a list of pet-friendly rentals? You might could get on a waiting list somewhere even if they’re full right now. (Assuming you don’t have to move right away and you haven’t already tried this, of course.). Good luck!

  240. I’m not going to give you pity, only helpless people need pity. You don’t need pity, you just need to know that things are going to get better, (they will), and you need to power through until you get to better, (you will). We’ve all had days where we run out of f***s to give, and for some of us, like you and I, the struggle is like a trap that keeps us underwater gasping for breath and trying to survive. But you will survive, you always have before, and you will do more than survive, you will live fully as only you can.

  241. Hey! You are very brave….and once you can attach language to something, you can do something about it. Have you ever considered talking to your doc about some of these issues? I’m also a lifelong survivor of depression….and it’s chemical! Some is behavioral, but by getting the chemical under control I could address the behavoirs that were getting me in trouble.

    Please feel free to ping me if you need more info.

  242. Thank you for your transparency! I love following your blog and appreciate every time you post, but I especially appreciate your honesty and willingness to be open about what is happening in your life. Love the no sew refashion, and look forward to seeing where the next day takes you! Praying for an awesome new place!

  243. Wow! So many readers caring about you. I didn’t read all of your comments so don’t know if someone else mentioned this, have you thought about getting your pup certified as an emotional support animal? I’m not sure that’s the correct term but it may help you get around pet restrictions. I’m sure he is a support to you. Good luck!

  244. Hi. I am so sorry about your challenges. I don’t know if you believe in God. I do. Prayer for help works.
    On the apartment hunt (You may already be aware of this!)…I suppose you have put the word put to realtors etc. When were were trying to find a space in a small town a few years turned out that the best spaces were word of mouth. For the owner of rental property, it’s easier to be very careful about the folks you even let know the property is available. By talking to many realtors and friends and neighbors. will probably find a terific place that is never listed on Craigslist etc.

    I enjoy your posts and the great eye you have for seeing the possible out of the different clothes. That ability is rare and a blessing to you. It means you never judge a book by its cover. (Or how clothing looks on a hanger !)

    Also, you keep on trudging and don’t give up..that’s another amazing trait that speaks to a strong character!

    I hope I don’t sound preachy, it’s just that at 54 I’ve been through some of the things you mentioned and wanted to reach out and give you a big hug and a little advice so you know even when you feel alone..your not.

  245. So sad to read your email. Maybe you could research EFT, also known asTapping by Nick Ortner, if you are not familiar with it. It works on the same principle as acupuncture and helps to resolve different types of issues. I wish you love and healing.

  246. I can totally relate to everything you said. Know that you are not the only one who struggles with all that stuff and you are not alone even though I know from personal experience it sometimes feels that way. I enjoy your blog, appreciate your honesty and hope things turn around for you. Loved the graphic you posted at the end. (((HUGS)))

  247. I know it seems tough for you right now but reflect on your good fortune. To me your life still seems awesome. I’m in my early 50s, dumped by husband 10 years ago so raised 2 little boys completely on my own. Men my age are not interested in women their own age so still single. No degree. Just told company is downsizing and I’m probably on the list to go. No friends.

  248. Hi Jillian. I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now and love seeing your creativity with how you approach your thrift store finds, but I haven’t commented before. I just wanted to share how sorry I am to hear about all your troubles lately. It’s totally unfair that you’ve had to deal with so many issues all at once. Sending you positive thoughts and prayers!

  249. Dear Jillian, Thank you for sharing. Everyone goes through bad times, and we just have to do the best we can. From all of the comments I have read, you are loved and so many people are pulling for you, commiserating with you, and encouraging you. Try to focus on the good things and always remember that even when life gets so very difficult, there are always things we can be grateful for. Better times will be here before you know it! Believe it!

  250. It’s gonna be tough work to read all the comments but it’s so nice to see how we care about you. This life moment will pass, and better one shall come. It will. IT WILL. Just take care of you. And spend time with friends, go outside and try not to be alone. These are my ex-single life secrets which have helped me.

    You have been a true inspiration for me for about an year, I hope that soon you will be feeling much better. HUGS from far away (Bulgaria, Europe).

  251. Murphy’s Law dear. This was a rough winter for me. Stressful, anxiety level super high, SAD affecting me. I was hating on just about everything because of my stress. My beautiful husband told me to write down on paper 10 things I’m THANKFUL for. I actually wrote down 11 and posted it on my computer monitor. It did help. Along with a sunlamp. Tomorrow is another day, different from yesterday, it is now the past. Leave it there. *hugs*

  252. I wish I could send you some Texas sunshine! Spring is in the air here. Winter is so depressing. Everybody was going stir crazy. Girl, sometimes you have to count your blessings by putting a positive spin on the negative. You got rid of a lousy guy. He was NOT the one. That opens the door for the right person to step in. Keep your eyes open. He is out there!

  253. I had been missing you and hoped it was because things were going well. So sorry to hear that isn’t the case. You have been such an inspiration to me this last year — you are so creative and full of ideas. I wish only good things for you and hope that with the warmth of Spring comes something new and positive. Take care and know you have many “friends” out here that do care about you……hugs and prayers…..

  254. Thanks for continuing to be honest and putting yourself out there, even when life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns! Let your creativity help keep you out of that dark place called depression. Thoughts and prayers your way!

  255. Do not hate yourself for depression and anxiety!! They are not under your control any more than the colour of your eyes. I am so sorry that life has been so rough on you the last little while. I really enjoy your blog, your sweet face, and your goofy comments. If you are not under your doctor’s care, change that, and if you are not on meds, go get ’em, trust me, they work! If you want to avoid meds, I just read an article that says folinic acid and methylcobalamin B12 are supposed to help. Here’s the link:
    Good luck, I am rooting for you!

  256. Be kind to yourself. Don’t worry about putting up a front, because the folks who share your issues already saw through it. And love you for it. Let your friends help – they seem like a sweet and devoted bunch.

  257. When I’m feeling down & blue all I have to do is read your post & see your beautiful smile & I’m happy again.

  258. Hi Jill, sorry to hear things have hit a speed bump lately. I love your blogs/refashionistas – looks like you have a great gang of friends. Mark has done you a favour; you don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t consider you to be their ‘no.1 favourite person’ you deserve to be someone’s number one. Don’t waste tears or time on him, he’s not worth it. That’s over now, you have to look forward; spend more time with your friends and start interviewing again, the sooner the better, that way you won’t have time to dwell on what isn’t but what might be. I hope you find a new place soon for you and your furry friend. I’m sure something will turn up soon, meanwhile spend time with your friends, they look a lively bunch! :)

  259. Sending you virtual hugs from London Jillian, and reassurance that things will get better, even though it doesn’t feel that way at the moment. just remember to breathe, eat, sleep and give yourself a break occassionally….yes, even from sewing, and things will get better. And do keep talking to us when you want to, that’s what we’re here for! Hang in there Sweetie. Heather

  260. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I have also struggled with lifelong depression, and it’s the pits. I hope you are surrounded by loved ones who are being kind and understanding, and that you come out the other end of this soon.

  261. Sorry you are going through so much s–t. Stuff does seem to come in waves, but waves do have a flow and ebb and your wave is on its way back to a good flow. You gave up wine for lent, but, I am sure frozen margarita can substitue.
    He obviously didn’t know what an awesome person you are. So keep smiling, keep living and keep your head up. We all love you for who you are.

  262. Thanks for keeping it real, chica, and sharing a bit more of your personal side! Sending sunshine and happy thoughts your way…woosh…woosh! :)

  263. Go have a really good cry, then fake it until you make it. I find that if I start trying to make other people have a good day, then before long I am having a good day also. Some of my best encouragement for other people has been some of the best encouragement for myself. You do amazing work and you have a whole legion of people who respect you and care about you. You may never meet any of us but rest in the knowledge that you are worthy of a meaningful relationship. Hang on, God has one for you.

  264. It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to ask for help. It’s ok to feel like s**t because you forgot to clean the vacuum after you last used it and now you just don’t have the motivation to clean it & then use it!
    I’m sure many of the comments above, & any that appear after mine, will make you smile. At least, I hope they do!
    There’s nothing worse than feeling alone & you should know that you’re not. I’m sure that any one of your followers (myself included) would be happy to listen to rants, shouts, cries and whatever else you need us to listen to.
    You, I and everyone else here knows that you’ll be happy again, maybe tomorrow will be the start, just be strong until then. And remember, it’s ok to not be ok!

    Also, thank you for all your posts, I’m a latecomer but have been through all the previous posts and you’re a genius! Such an inspiration & even more so now I know you have your own struggles. Good luck to you xxx

  265. I have come to realize that life does have its ups and downs…sometimes really painful. BUT, keep strong and keep heading forward and looking up because things do change and pleasant things do come around again. Best of luck to you. You are a very talented and gifted person and I always enjoy coming to your blog!

  266. Like everyone else, I love your blog. In church last Sunday, our sermon was about how everyone always says “I’m fine” . But it really isn’t the way it always is, and it’s okay if you aren’t fine, and to say so. Thoughts are with you.

  267. Thank you so much for sharing about your depression and anxiety. I suffered from both since I was about 4. It is nice to see I am not the only one in the world and we have a support system out there even if we don’t personally know each other. I will pray for you for better times. Your fashions have inspired me to try a few of my own. Surprisingly it has helped with my depression. Much love and hang in there!!!

  268. Someone once told me that throwing rocks at electric poles helped relieve frustration. In the city maybe a punching bag and a heavy dose of prayer. Your blogs are so creative motivating so don’t forget all the positive impact you have on us refashionista wannabes.

  269. I recently found your blog and find it very inspiring. After your last post, I find it even more so. Thank you for being honest and open. We are often bombarded with the illusion that everyone’s lives are happy and great but ours, making it that much harder to keep it together when ours just plain sucks. Your admission of struggle is a breath of fresh air, because we all struggle! We are human! I, too, struggle with depression and anxiety. Thank you for reminding ME that I am not alone. Chin up buttercup. It’ll be okay.

  270. Dear Jill, I love following your blogs and think you’re a “real” person who feels the lows and highs just like most of us! Hang in there girl and things will turn around! That guy wasn’t worth keeping if he can’t stick around when the going gets rough!! Let’s picture you finding the PERFECT place to live at a great price and that the PERFECT guy is just around the corner! Things are going to get better!
    Sincerely, Sandy

  271. Sending you good vibes!!!!! I love your blog and I love your refashions. Sorry life has thrown you curve balls lately. Happy that you have good friends to hang out with and cheer you up. Hoping there’s a silver lining coming up for you soon!!!

  272. Thank you for your transparency. I’m not preaching to you…not at all…but remember that alcohol is a depressant. Nourish your body and soul with pure water and good food. Prayers coming your way.

  273. I am so , so sorry you are feeling down! Thank you for opening up about your life this way. So many times we are fooled into thinking everyone is so “Happy Go Lucky”, and don’t know what’s happening inside. For a drastic example, my Niece was going thru tough times in her life, although she had a gorgeous, hard working Husband, two beautiful boys, a great job, yet she chose to end her life two weeks ago.
    Everyone is so devastated, how could she give up on life, we say.
    I found out she was Bipolar, something you would never know , unless you lived with her, I guess.
    So do your best to remember that you are important to many people in your life! You’re gorgeous, talented, and such a smart woman! Life is a gift, it’s up to you to make the best of that gift. Now get out there and so some fashioning! I love looking at your new projects, although there’s NO thrift stores that sell anything for $1.00!
    Please fell better, sweetie, we love you!

  274. Oh Jill, I’m so sorry to read this. What a crappy time you’re having. Thinking of you, and praying that things are on the up very soon. Be kind to yourself.

  275. Jillian, look at how many love-filled comments you have! We, your adoring public, wish you a quick turn-around. Think of us all crawling into that cozy nest with you and Douglas.

  276. Today being International Woman’s Day an all, you for some reason were on my mind. I kept thinking, where is Jillian and why hasn’t she posted? I really look forward to your posts. They bring a lot of joy to me! I love your creativity , as I have stated before I can’t even sew on a button!
    Well now I know why! I am so sorry for all your bad juju you have been having lately and not really knowing you I don’t want to give you some lame platitudes that will just sound like blah,blah, blah to you right now. Suffice to say we all care about you!

  277. Hey. On the bright side … know that you are not alone! Warm hugs from Calgary Alberta, Canada. Love your site. Love U. <3

  278. Thank you so much for sharing. I love your refashions and also really appreciate you telling us how you feel- I can relate to what you are saying- the trying really hard to be happy. Big big hugs from the UK.

  279. I am 68 years old and have suffered from depression on and off all my grown up life. I do understand and will be praying for you.

  280. Wow, I really feel for you. It hurts so much and I know words will not relieve the hurt, But it does get better. You seem to have some awesome friends. Take strength from them and keep those refashionistas coming. You seem to give so much – as I say take strength from friends. Yours in Oz Sandra

  281. To quote the great RuPaul, “The best family is the family you choose”. We are your family, your awesome group of friends are family and your adorable pup is family. Take comfort in them and ask for help. You are a helper and I suspect you are the type who never asks for help, and is uncomfortable with that. Ask your friends to keep their eyes open for a rental, or maybe you could still purchase, but add a roommate to ease the financials. Concentrate on the blessings in your life and how grateful you are for them. Take care of yourself while your heart is healing. When it feels like anxiety and depression is taking over your life, take it back by getting out, or staying in, but with a friend or two. Keep busy so you can’t wallow in the bad. But most of all, know that you are loved, and valued, and it will all work out in the end. It may not be the way you had envisioned it, but it will still be great! Just look at all these wonderful comments. I have a blogger friend who recently had some setbacks and when she shared them she got tons of wonderful, uplifting comments. She printed them all out, cut them into individual comments and put them in a pretty jar. Whenever she started to feel down, she would take one out and read it. One day that jar was the only thing that got her out of bed. It’s a good idea, worth trying. In the meantime, hugs to you!

  282. Sounds to me like you have REASON to feel a little low. Too much stress, the positive kind, new job and great new co-workers, along with the negative kind, no home and a break up, will do that to a person. Many great suggestions here from let the landlord meet your pup (I’m a landlord and have been known to take in a doggie or two) to get some vitamin D and whatever else. You are a beautiful, talented woman who probably has what she wants and needs even if she doesn’t always know it. All the best from a mom of a thirty-something daughter. {BIG HUG}

  283. You tied a graduation gown around your waste and still look so bloomin’ cute!!!! Not many people in this world could do that ! In fact, you might just about be the only one!!!

    You hang in there my dear! Continue to allow yourself time to “just be”.

    Your posts always bring a smile to my face.

  284. Whenever I see a new post from you in my inbox, it totally makes my day. I love the way you are always real and yourself and today is no exception. I am so appreciative that you are willing to share yourself with me, even though you don’t know me. I have had similar feelings under different circumstances, so I have an idea of where you’re at. I am raising my virtual glass to you and wishing that the universe expedites an amazing set of joys to you to offset your sadnesses.

  285. I never, ever ever, never ever, EVER leave comments on anything. But here, I am compelled to post something.

    Shit is shitty, no doubt. There have been days when I literally didn’t shower or change clothes because the depression was so thick around me. But anytime I checked my email and saw a new Re-fashionista email, I opened it, read it, and inevitably smiled.

    Go, fall apart, feel the feels. And when you are ready, we will be here waiting for more awesome refashions, because lady…you fucking rock.

  286. I have followed you for a long time and enjoy every post of yours. All have been enjoyable and I have missed you very much. Please know that while I do not know what it is to live your life, pain is realized before we grow. Very creative souls often experience more pain due to anxiety and depression and maybe this is necessary for the creative process. Just know that I am thinking of you and wishing for your life to go through a pleasant turn around soon. I find that meditation work wonders for me. Take care, Sweet Soul!

  287. ‘ve been reading your posts for almost a year now, and find you to be so inspirational and a bright star. The trouble is, I think creative people (me included) sometimes feel the need to cheer others up because we thrive on sharing good vibes to the world. But it isn’t fair for you to have to always be the happy one!

    You finally had feelings that weren’t perfect, it’s okay. Sometimes people, especially guys are attracted to that light because they don’t know how to cultivate joy for themselves. So naturally when things get a little real (moving is stressful!) they take off! He didn’t have the capacity to handle the heat so he doesn’t deserve you on your best days either!! And a good guy would want to help you better your life…he wasn’t one, which is SO GREAT because that gives you the gift to be open to attract someone better.

    You are gorgeous, talented and can share your real self with us! That takes so much strength and tenacity. You have support all around you!! So feel it ALL! Some of my best work (artist/dancer) has come from times when I have been down

    So I’m not going to tell you to cheer up! You are officially allowed to feel down. It’s fun to brighten up a room, but it’s not always your job. It’s okay to go a few weeks without making a stunning creation or blog post.

  288. Jillian, I’m so sorry you’re going through such a tough time. But damn, you sure rock that graduation gown!
    I hope things will start looking up for you soon – you deserve the best!

  289. Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before.
    Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”
    — Alice Walker

    a hug from my corner of the wide wide Universe.

  290. I am so sorry to hear that things are sucking. I hope the vacuum drawing that mighty suckaliciousness will break down and quit running soon so you can get back to feeling better and not have to fake smiles. PS You don’t have to fake smiles.

  291. Hang on there girlfriend, sending you good karma from Canada where we still freeze our butts in March!
    Things are cyclic, currently down but soon to be up!
    We love you! You and your funny and talented posts!

  292. Love your writing, love your inspiring refashions, and sending you all my best vibes. Think on this idea -try living in Australia for a while. Really. What you are looking for is not an issue here. Can you do your job from a distance?

  293. I hope things get easier for you really soon. Sounds like you’ve been hit by an avalanche!! Thinking of you and sending light and love xo

  294. Girl, it’s crazy how we all think we know you because electronically, you are such a huge part of what makes us happy!!! We look forward to that email with a new refashion or witty story. We look forward to voting on what we like best , we get excited when we see good things happening for you, we are happy when you are happy and we celebrate your awesome accomplishments. (I was on vacay in FLA when you did GMA and OMG I had every one I could find watching you!)
    But the truth is, most of us DONT know you or what goes on in your life. Not really. But that doesn’t mean we don’t get sad when we read a post like this one.
    I sat on my couch and read every word and all I wanted to do is reach through the computer and give you a big hug. Because sometimes a big hug can mean so much more than words. Especially because words aren’t usually what we want to hear when we feel this low. For me, I just want someone to get it. To get ME. And to let me wallow. At least for a little while. Then I want those people to just smack me in the head and tell me to snap out of it, ala CHER in Moonstruck.:)

    We all have a story to tell of that day when we thought things couldn’t get any worse. I know I do. So I want you to know that i know you have awesome friends. We see them in all your pics. And I know that they can really, physically, carry you through this tough time. But please know that there are also a ton of us ‘electronic’ friends who look forward to seeing you overcome this bump in the road and find your true happiness. It’s out there and you will find it. Of that I am certain. And in the meantime, here’s my big hug- ((((((((((((((((<3)))))))))))))))

  295. Hugs to you sweet girl. Life can be so incredibly difficult at times, and it’s hitting you from every direction right now. Hang in there! Give some thought about moving to Asheville! We all love dogs up here!
    …and you are the only person that’s ever made a graduation gown look awesome!

  296. Look what your transparency brought on you!! Pages and pages of people with well wishes blessings and prayers for you. Keep on keeping on. You only have to be the best you you can be, not somebody else’s great. Sometimes being just ‘FINE’ is good enough. Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, emotional. Hope your cheering section has convinced you that you won’t be stuck in FINE. It will become OK then fine, then good and then as good as you get. Do what ever worked before to move you along and know we are cheering you on.

  297. From one strangers heart to another. Hang in there. Sadly there is nothing Fair about life. Things happen to us that shouldn’t happen if we all lived in a computer game. (Hang in with me for a minute while I try and explain this) In computer world we get bonus points to use when we have been good, and bad people use all their points up and get eaten by pac man.) If we were all a computer game that would be great. But real life just isn’t fair. Shitty shitty things happen to good people all the time because there is no points saving system. Cry, Scream, whatever it is that helps get the ick out of your heart. You are a good person. Good things will happen to you again. I want to thand you for shareing your whole heart and soul to the world helping my days become brighter and happier. I hope you can find joy in having your love rain back down on you from all of us. Big sloppy internet hugs and kisses from me.

  298. 230 some comments later, I’m not sure if you’ll read them all ;) ,but if you do, know that this girl understands what it’s like to really have to try to be happy too (and I know I have more blessings than I deserve). Tomorrow is another day and it is never too late to be proactive about what life throws at you. Just stick with it! Better days are coming.

  299. A new level of lame…? Ummm, I think not. Girl we are all on an incredible journey together– traveling different paths–but ALL of us hit similar highs and lows, happy times and sad times, times of joy and times of despair, times of bravery and times of being afraid. We all walk it alone– but most of us are not alone– we have those who love us– friends and family– near and far. (And fear not your special man will come- who will love you just as you are and will never walk away.) Love and peace to you! Blessings– Rose

  300. I am 73 years old and enjoy your website. You are a beautiful, funny and talented women. I finally learned after all these years that you don’t have happy days or bottom of the pit days all the time. When the bad days come I just figure its my turn. Every person gets their turn. The good days will be back and it will be someone elses bad days. You will be able to help that person because you know how they feel.

  301. So, reading your post makes me worry that you think you owe the world to be positive… Um… Sweetie? You owe us nothing. You’re real. That’s all the world needs. And frankly, it sounds like you need to reserve some energy for little things, like, you know, waking up in the morning. I love your blog and it inspires me when I’m in a creative rut. I love that you love your dog. I love that you put so much of yourself out there that your readers think they know you. I also love your struggle; its authentic and inspiring. I was thinking about a re-fashion today and wonder if seeing what your art brings out in others would shine a little light in your day? I can send you pictures. Ha! They might make you laugh out loud at how ridiculous they really are. But really, Jillian, you are enough… Flaws and all.

  302. Your blog has brought many smiles to me, along with great ideas and inspiration to try new things and think outside the box. I’m so sorry for the bad things that have happened; dealing with anxiety and depression when life is upsidedown can be overwhelming (I suffer from GAD). My prayer is that you will feel all the outpouring of love and caring and hope from all of your readers, friends and coworkers as you work through life’s challenges and will feel comforted. I’m sending positive thoughts, hopes, prayers and especially love your way.

  303. You’re amazing. I love the refashion of the grad gown,it turned out so chic! Thank you for sharing your vulnerability with the entire Internet, you’re a brave and bright star. I love your blog.

  304. Hope by now, things have improved a bit for you. From one crappy life situation to another…it will get better. I started a blog about mine and somehow, it helped to write about how crappy it was. Hoping your writing did so for you. Love your posts, only fashionista I follow.

  305. I actually think this is/was a choir robe! ;) On an ironic note, Pastor said something this morning that’s for you. If you find yourself constantly in a low spot, perhaps you should be open to getting some help. He also said, encouraging one’s self is a choice. You choose to either stay in said hole, or you choose to lift yourself out of it. Now, like I said, if you’re in a place where you can’t do that, please seek help. Depression is a very serious thing and I don’t want to see you travel down a path you can’t come back from. You are special. God made you that way. He also loves you and so do we. Get a good night’s sleep, it’ll be better in the morning. Love you girl!

  306. First, I am so so sorry you are going through such a lousy time
    Second, and perhaps more importantly, thank you for your honesty. I too am a glass empty person and have had to deal with the monkey on my back of depression my whole life. I’ve lived a little longer than you have so I can say with all certainty that things can and will get better and you deserve a partner that respects and cares for all of who you are, including a person who has the disease of depression. Yes, I do believe it is a disease and needs to be treated as such. Daily long runs, yoga and high intense cardio are generally my best ‘medicine’ as well as an antidepressant. I usually limit my drinking if I’m really in the throws of a deep dark. It doesn’t help me. Surround yourself with people that make you laugh and remind you of who you are when you aren’t feeling depressed.

    I’ll keep you in my prayers for success in finding a new home and car and that you celebrate your unique gifts!


  307. I have pretty severe depression/anxiety and follow your blog because it cheers me up immensely. I’ve never had anything to say before so I’ve never commented but…now I want to say I’m sorry you’re hurting. Of course no one on the internet really knows how you feel but I empathize as much as is possible for a stranger. Thank you so much for the slice of your life you share with us– it has helped me so much– and it took a lot of strength to write this. I hope you can continue to find strength and move towards feeling better.

  308. I have not posted before, though I love your blog and read it regularly. I don’t sew right now – I am just too busy with too many other things in life, but I eagerly await your refashions and dream of the things that I might do when things slow down. I have been missing you lately and the longer we got from your last post, the more concerned I became. You have been on my mind often – wondering from afar if you need help and hoping you have good friends to lean on. I send warmest wishes to you, Jillian.

  309. I’ve been there it gets better since you cant be positive right at this moment I will be for you! You will find a pet friendly rental soon until you find that home to call your own. Mr. wonderful will find you when you least expect it and won’t be put off when things go wrong he will be there even when you don’t want him too patiently waiting.
    You have a light that shines bright and when you focus on what’s going right then those bad things start to turn into good things. Douglas depends on you for love and hugs ans knows you are going through a rough patch and even though you may not see the light at the end of the tunnel its there you just have to keep pressing forward until you see it and reach it! Love hugs and light your way

  310. Jillian things WILL get better. We have all been in your shoes at one time or another. This too shall pass. As for the depression, sorry but most artists do suffer from depression. Seek out a group, maybe it will help just knowing you are not alone. Hugs to you.

  311. Sending some love from the big north of Canada, where daylight only last 5-6 hours in the winter… and makes everyone depressed every year. But spring is coming soon, and your personal spring will shortly come as well. <3

  312. Anxiety has plagued me also. I believe in sharing these issues as a way of diluting the stigma associated with them so I thank you for having the courage to do so. Do you have any idea how many times your blog has cheered me and encouraged me to be creative? I hope your
    world gets less shitty. I hope you find a love that celebrates you. And I hope you realize how I and countless others value you on your fabulous blog.

  313. i first started following your blog in 2012, and yours was my first introduction to the concept of refashioning (which has now become something i love and try to participate in, though i still have a lot of room for improvement). thank you for that–before i found your blog (which then led me to the refashion co-op and other similar blogs), i had no idea that there was such a large community and movement (for lack of a better word?), and was really excited to give it a try myself.

    thanks for being honest about where you are…i don’t know if this helps, but if i could go back in time to a really rough patch for myself (a few years ago), i think all i would have been able to hear at the time is just don’t give up. it does feel sometimes like bad things in life come like the waves in the ocean–one after another without stopping, such that once you’re knocked down, it makes it so hard to get back up–but hopefully, there’ll be a break for you soon. if i can speak for myself and maybe other followers, i’m rooting for that to happen for you, and still love seeing your refashions and other bits of your life that you choose to share.

  314. Well I think you are wonderful and I am addicted to this website. I hope that it helps when I say that you put a smile on my face even when I’m feeling down and alone. So I’m sending you lots of hugs and kisses and extra love and luck! <3

  315. Kudos to you for being open and honest about what you’re going through. All too often, we read things online that make us feel that the writers life is perfect which we know can’t be so its refreshing to see what is real. I can identify with so much of what you’re saying! Another blog I read talks about the importance of continuing to “show up” for life when it’s hard to. Sometimes that’s all we can do but it counts for something! I do have a comment on the family thing…..we have our biological family and we have our logical family. We get to choose the logical family and those are the people who love us no matter what! Don’t forget that you’ve created a family here with the blog and we’re definitely here for you!

  316. Although I am new suscriber to your blog, I already know what an inspiration you are to many. I wonder if you realize the courage and dedication it takes just to put yourself out there to create and maintain a blog? And the committment? Oh my such commitment! Give yourself credit miss, you are truly, truly amazing. Your creativity and artistic talent probably coinside with your passion, which probably also causes other issues, like depression. I hope that the support of your blog followers is helping you, as you deserve some help and uplifting from others. So, with all that being said, thank you for sharing with us, and I’ll be praying for you. Thank you for all of your inspiriation and I look forward to more!!

  317. I am so sorry about all your troubles. It hurts so much when you are down on your luck. I wish you luck and its OK to cry!

  318. I envy you because you can get depressed and yet still take a positive swing out of it. If it was me and it frequently has been, I just crawl into my bed and stay there until my other half drags me out a week later!

  319. First: (((Hugs)))

    Second: You are awesome, you inspire and encourage so many people to see, and create beauty. Because of you my birthday present to myself this year was a sewing
    machine–seriously! And because of you I am fearless!

    Hang in there, Hon. The last guy you need is the one who isn’t able to be with you through thick and thin. The right one will come along and in the meantime you are changing the world, one fashion at a time!

    (((More hugs!)))

  320. Feel better soon. Spring will be here before you know it and the flowers, if they don’t make you sneeze, will be very pretty. Take care.

  321. #246 here. Yes things are shitty right now…And not to be a bummer but it can be worse (hey, you’re not in Syria right now right?). But you know what else? It won’t feel like this forever. Its actually not possible. So it may suck in different ways, but it won’t suck like this. And yes, I hope this makes you feel better. You know why? Because you are a bright spot in all 245 and counting of us’s (yes, us’s) lives. So thank you for sharing, we have all been there, and we are rooting for you to bring us your fantastic perspective on thrifted fashions and sewing. You are NOT alone. We are here for you. Please get help if you need it in your creative brilliant way. Every day I don’t see a refash from you, is a day a little dimmer. I don’t say that to put pressure on you, but so that you may know, when I sit down after a long hard day, it gets a little better from you sharing yours with me. I wish and pray for peace and love in your life. Cheers*** to what lies around the bend.

  322. Hey Sweetie,

    Here’s some of the self-talk that gets me through bad times. ” This too will pass!” “I will NEVER give up!” and my favorite “Don’t let the bastard’s get you down!” You can get through this, there are many of us here who love and care about you.

  323. Depression is so very real! It is not a choice. Some days, you really do just have to make a conscious effort to put one foot in front of the other. Right foot, left foot….inhale, exhale. Never, ever, ever give up!! That is not an option! You bring a lot of joy to a lot of people, without realizing it. To borrow a thought from “The Help”…You are good, you are kind, you are important! I hope that tomorrow is a better day. I saw daffodils this morning, so hang on, spring is on the way!!

  324. Jill I can’t make things better and they sometimes really really suck but know I am sending every positive vibe and love your way ….xxoo Leah Sipprell

  325. We, your followers, care about you!!! You bring such joy to others. And I can see from the pics you post that you have friends who also care deeply about you. I wish we could all give you a hug right now.

    And anyone who is not willing to hang in there when things get tough does not deserve you.

  326. Jillian,

    I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I also suffer from depression and anxiety and know how horrible it is. I only recently found your blog but I have seen every one of your talented refashions. You have inspired so many of us. I got a sewing machine for Christmas and am on my second refashion.

    Thank you so much for being YOU and sharing your life with us. I feel like I know you personally.

    Great big HUGS and KISSES. It will get better sweetie!!!

  327. To shorten my tale suffice to say I’ve been there. What I have learned is this. Things always change. Not always for the best. However, sweet energetic, forever finding old unwanted things. With a snip and a stitch (or a mere tie) making something new and alive. You are an inventor a creator a wiz !
    If nothing else you are simply purging the old and un-useful!!!
    So, while I have a will my moto is this
    Ignore the torpidos full steam ahead !!!

  328. Honey – as someone who has been dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time, someday’s life just sucks. I totally belief that God created Pharmacists for a reason, and I LOVE my pharmacist. Go spend some time at a shelter and let puppies or kittens love on you. It doesn’t make things better in the outside world, but they give unconditional love. I love your Refashions!

  329. My heart goes out to you. But gloom comes in groups of three, so smile, because you are due for something wonderful to happen. Guys like their women to be mean, if you want to keep one, just be mean to him and keep him guessing. Don’t be nice all the time. Look around….see all the mean beatches have faithful lovers. You’re just too nice. Saying prayers Mr Right will come along for you……but secretly (I have been married for 54 years and men are just kind of weird, so you must be true to yourself, for YOU are the one who matters.

  330. Jillian,

    I don’t have any further words of wisdom to offer, but I wanted to comment just to let you know that you’ve made a difference in how I think about refashioning clothes. You’re smart, innovative and have a great eye. Thanks for being here to encourage all of us, and hopefully we, your faithful followers can lift you up as well.

    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, girl, and know that you are loved and appreciated.

  331. I just cried reading your post. Yep. Cried. I rarely cry. I just really appreciate and admire your honesty and openness. Sometimes you just need to say “You know what? Life is really f$&@ed up right now. And I’m kind of a mess.” We’ve ALL been there. I’m there right now…in a completely different way/set of circumstances. The problem is, I’m still faking it to the outside world that things are great. And that’s a very lonely place to be. Your rawness made me reevaluate my need to fake awesomeness. Hang in there. I always loved your blog and now I love it even a little bit more.

  332. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Hang in there. It will get better. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder several years ago. I take my medicine, but fighting a mental illness is hard work. I have NO doubt that you can do this. :-)

  333. Sometimes life sucks. I’m sorry things are less than awesome. I hope they turn around for you soon. Best wishes from Nashville.

  334. Jillian, you are not defined by your current circumstances. Please know that you are much more than your circumstances. Live in the “present moment”. You don’t have graces for yesterday, you don’t have graces for the future. You only have graces for the “present moment”. Hugs and prayers coming your way.

  335. This is meant to make you smile, but when my uncle was bummed out he’d say, “If it weren’t for Bad Luck, I’d have No Luck at all!!” Sorry that your life is lobbing lemons your way now. I wish we could all vaporize there and have a big get-together with you, because we’d cheer you up and have you laughing in spite of yourself! Thinking of You!!

  336. We’ve never met, but I love your blog and think you’re a super cool, creative gal. I’ve been there, when things go from bad to worse. I hear Ya sister! Keep refashioning anyway!!!

  337. I am so sorry you’re going through such a tough time. Rest assured that you’re in good company though. I too struggle with anxiety and depression but your blog has definitely been a light in the darkness for me. I find that doing creative things like sewing and crafting almost always improves my outlook. Hang in there, we may not know each other but your words bring inspiration and happiness to more people than you know.

  338. The past few weeks have been havoc in many lives. Is the moon doing something strange or some weird right-angle triune or whatever? All I can say on the topic, and my life has had some serious downers, is that it will change, and we are all going to hope the change will be for the better. If you finances were not so tight, I would say come to Kaua’i because it is impossible to be unhappy here. The east side (Coconut Coast) is very spiritual and has great positive vortexes and negative ions from the ocean. And something drunk from a coconut is an instant upper.

  339. Your honesty will touch and help so many of your followers. Having felt the same kind of anguish, I can tell you that there is help if you are willing to seek it. Know that you are in my prayers beautiful Jillian.

  340. Our brave Jillian.
    I hear you.
    Sending loving thoughts to comfort you.
    And telling you, i think you are wonderful.
    So glad “you have got back on the horse”
    Love Jillian, Melbourne. Australia

  341. Dear Jillian, I too am a person who often has to work hard to be happy. I have a very good life so I could never understand why I should be depressed, people often suggested I go to counseling for the depression, but I honestly couldn’t think of what I would tell the psychologist. I’ve tried many things such as exercise, shopping, even alcohol. Luckily for me I can’t handle more than two glasses of alcohol without feeling sleepy nauseous, so that never worked. Finally in my 50’s a friend shared a similar problem and suggested that I ask my doctor for an anti depressant. I hate taking any pills by the way, but now I take a very mild anti depressant. It took a month and a half for it to kick in but I now feel great about 98% of the time. It was one of the best things I ever did for myself and all those around me. Good luck Jillian, feel better. Love Marci
    p.s. I receive much pleasure from your blogs, so thank you.

  342. You are smart, funny, talented and inspiring – NO ONE can take those things from you. Good karma all the way from Seattle from a fellow wine-lovin, art-lovin, music-lovin seamstress! :-)

  343. ComPlEtEly understand the anxiety… It’s a burden that those who don’t have just don’t get. I’m sorry you’ve had such a crappy hand to deal with right now, Jilly. Just hang on, it’s all you can do sometimes you know. One thing that’s always helped me is writing down all the good thing ga I can think of and everything I have to be happy about or look forward to. There will always be so muchore to write than you think. Just said a little prayer for you :). Much love from an NC girl :)

  344. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie Hoosiers, but the owner of the bording house tells Gene Hackman that the sun does’nt shine on the same dog’s ass every day. Keep that thought in mind. Rain is always going to be in an area to mess up our plans, but you have to stay strong! You are my favorite blogger and have inspired me in so many ways. Stay stromg and Don’t Forget to Be AWESOME! Something awesome is just beyond the hill and you will prosper and flourish when you get there!

  345. I’m so sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch. You seem like such a nice person and i love following your blog. That seems like an aweful lot of stuff to deal with all at once but you have to make sure to let yourself feel how you feel. It’s normal and healthy to be sad and overwhelmed when that much shit is tossed your way. But darlin’, you made that gown look pretty cute. Not gonna lie…I’m a little impressed.
    Sending good vibes from Cali

  346. SEE … HOW AWSOME YOU ARE… I thought I would never get to the bottom of all these wonderful words just to tell you that. At least you didn’t marry someone who married you so you could support him… Newly divorced from an “A.H”. Just used me and told me how sorry I was after I had a serious back injury and lost my job and could not let him sit at home. Count you’re blessings, girl… And get on with your sewing and making us smile… Don’t make me come up there!!! :-)

  347. I’m sorry. I always say to myself. “I’ll look back on this in six months and it will be no big deal. ” time IS a great healer and we just have to roll and wallow until time passes.

  348. I never EVER comment, and I don’t sew or shop at thrift stores much, but really and truly subscribe to your blog because I think you’re awesome! You see such beauty in things most people would throw out. I hope you can see all the beauty within yourself and know that things will get better. You have so many friends and even strangers who care for you. :)
    Remember that you’re amazing and inspirational, even when you don’t feel like it. I hope you feel better soon!

  349. Hugs to you! Depression and anxiety suck, so make sure to take exquisite care of yourself during this rough patch. You’re an inspiration, and I cant wait to see what you come up with next.

  350. Ms Jill, I have always found your blog insightful, honest, and heartfelt; highs & lows, sadness & joy…take heart that so many strangers feel for you and your situation and only wish that you find some comfort in their comments. Sending calmness and another flicker of light to help guide you out of your personal “tunnel”… Wanda

  351. Thank you for being brave and honest and sharing what you’re going through! I know that so many in this online community can relate and it’s almost reassuring to know that even the most talented and “positive-outlook-on-life” people deal with troubles and pain. It’s even more comforting to know that they get up again and keep going when things fall apart. Did you know that today is International Women’s Day? Take a moment to celebrate yourself as a woman who’s taken risks, who’s perservered and who’s had a great impact on her community!

    “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.”
    ― Eleanor Roosevelt

  352. Your story stayed with me today, and so an addendum to my previous comment: “Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together.” You have reached out to touch the world and the world now returns the same. Life consists of one step in front of the other. As long as you can take that one step, the journey continues, and the sun rises even though there be clouds obscuring it.

  353. I find you amazing that you found the strength to share all of that with us. I too have suffered with depression often and find it very difficult to do anything with my day. Sadly I have put on 26 lbs. most recently. I have faith that things will improve for you. I speak for others. … we are sending positive vibes and prayers your way.
    P.S. I so look forward to your creations. .. they motivate me. :-)

  354. When I saw the title of your post I thought ‘oh, goodie, she’s going to refashion something made out of that shiny fabric (lam-ee).’ But no, you really meant lame. Not only are you feeling depressed you’re feeling guilty for feeling depressed. I ve got news. A recent study showed that depression is directly biologically related to the amount of inflammation residing in one’s body. I was thrilled to hear that. I too have a history of depression and have felt really wimpy about it. Please don’t beat yourself up. It’s not your fault. There’s a lot of spunk under that down feeling. You’ll be better than ever soon. Besides, who else is going to rescue those frumpy fashions but you!

  355. I really hope that your world starts looking brighter, like, yesterday! You bring so much joy to those of us who read your blog and are inspired by your creativity. You deserve so much joy. In the meantime know that lots of us are out here sending you positive vibes and lots of love!

  356. I’m so sorry! I’ve had some hard times too. You’re doing exactly what you need to get to a better place. Keep getting out of bed every day, stay connected with friends, if you feel like crying… Get it out!! If I’m at a breaking point, getting a good cry out helps relieve stress and helps me refocus. You’re awesome, girlie! You can do this!

  357. I also have suffered from depression since earliest memories of childhood. I know it doesn’t help but having been in the bottom of the black hole with no light sining up above that I could see, I just hold on to the fact that is does get better. I know for me that antidepressants changed my life. And so did becoming an artist instead of a nurse. I hope you find what works for you. Mark is an ass to not want to help you work through the stuff. I have had more than my share of asses in my life, Now I have a dog – but then I am 71 and content with Riley as a warm body next to me in bed at night. For you I hope someone better comes along – someone who understands and doesn’t walk away. You are a strong and beautiful woman and I am holding you in the Light – that’s Quaker for I’m praying for you!!!! And it feels more appropriate to me. Love and hugs from one of your followers. Ann

  358. I’m loving you even more today! I’m so making myself a nest :) and my LadyBug sends sloppy licks to Douglas xoxo

  359. I understand you so deeply. I too struggle with depression….and a life that likes to throw a load of crap at you at once. I can’t help you, but hope that it makes you feel just a little better to know that you are being thought of and wished the best. I think you are a beauty and also very talented. Hope this passes soon for you! ((HUG))

  360. We can’t see into the future Jillian, but things will get better. Sometimes we have to walk in mud to get to the sidewalk. I have a world of faith in you. And BTW, Mark is a turd…better you know now than latter!

  361. We don’t really know you, but your light shines through – you are fabulous. I’m sending you a link to a song that I would play and it helped me through some rough times. You may know it already – Grover Washington Jnr’s “The Best is Yet To Come”. (hope the link works), hope it helps you too, along with the thoughts of all the people around the world who love what you do. We love that you are real – and that means that it’s not all roses and the sun doesn’t always shine. Be kind to yourself xx.

  362. Hi,
    The pressure put on folks to be “happy” is enormous and ridiculous. It’s like being forced to eat cake when you really need a bowl of broccoli. Life is full of troubles and we should cry when need to. There’s a book by Oliver Sachs called A leg To Stand On that may not seem relevant at first, but if you consider emotional pain & heartache as you would physical injury, I think you’ll be helped by it. It helped me when I was very down.

  363. Well, now you have me crying. I loved your post. I love you – I LOVE it when you pop up on my news feed. I love all your creative ideas, I love your call to be more responsible with clothing and wastefulness, I love your beautiful smile, your sharp wit, your willingness to be open and vulnerable with this internet community you’ve built up. I’m rooting for you all the way over here in Seattle. You are a great light in this world – thanks for all you do, J.

  364. Look at all your friends and all the love coming your way. It’s ok be numbed out after such an awful week but there will be a better day. The sun will shine again. All the and prayers.

  365. Jill,

    Je vais écrire en français car je ne pourrais pas exprimer tout ce que je ressens en anglais.
    Je suis ton blog depuis quelques mois et j’ai lu tous tes posts. J’ai vu que tu as même “survécu” au jour supposé de ton mariage. Je ne sais pas quand tu seras mieux, et je donnerai tout pour que ce soit le plus tôt possible.
    Ce que tu ressens, je le ressens également.
    Je t’envoie un lien sur youtube d’une chanteuse française (ttp:// qui chante l’optimisme.mais qui est passé par ce que tu passes en ce moment. Quand je n’ai pas le moral, j’écoute souvent cette chanson.
    Tu as tout mon soutien et si un jour “Ca va”, passes par la France et je te ferai visiter tous mes endroits préférés. En plus, toi qui a toujours voulu voir l’Espagne, j’habite à 10 mn de la frontière espagnole.
    Good luck Jill
    et comme on dit en espagnol “Animo”

  366. Thank you for sharing your struggles, it’s hard to put yourself out there like that but you are helping others to know they are not alone. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I am glad you are starting to get help for your depression…stick with it. Make it your top priority if you can. You will be able to buy a house later…you’re doing right by taking care of yourself. I am so sorry for the extremely sh**ty slump you are in, that just plain SUCKS! I am in your corner and believing you will pull through stronger than ever. I really enjoy your blogs. ~Tiya

  367. I am praying for you I go through the same thing with depression just keep pushing forward ! Life will get better . And he was a jerk

  368. Sweety. I wish you lived close by so i could offer you a nest, love and hugs. i suffer with the same and when the poo hits the pan and i hide. Nothing can be said to make you feel better, I know. But know that your followers have you in our prayers and just as quick as life got pants, life will fix you up nicely. lots of love and hugs beautiful. Em xxx

  369. **massive hugs** I understand what you’re going through all too well, but things will get better! Just make sure you look after yourself and just “be” for a while. Treat yourself like your best friend. Then things will start looking up

  370. Jill, some day you are going to be very famous and the only, real problem will be your tiny fingers because of the many autographs you’ve signed. Oh, by the way, that guy couldn’t handle a lady with a few days at, times, he’ll be at the end of the line waiting his turn! However he will be busy eating Humble Pie.
    i’m thinking, about the book you will write some years from now, will be a great seller!
    I can see the book now, “Eating Humble Pie” written by a courageous leader Jillian O.
    You are the best!!

  371. A big hug from across the pond! I hope that all these lovely comments can hope to make you feel a little better. Being left sucks, but ultimately, if someone can do that to you then do you really want them around? It took me a while to understand that when it happened to me but you are worth far more than that and you deserve someone who couldn’t and wouldn’t treat you that way.

  372. Hang in there, girl! My family is going through a terrible financial crisis right now and I, too, struggle with depression and the like. It is hard, but there is a place to live out there for you and Dougie and there is a person who isn’t afraid of loving a real woman who is beautiful and talented (I am neither and my husband is a prince). Believe me, when the right person comes along you realize you would have waited another fifty years for him if that is what it took. Meanwhile, I suggest long walks with Douglas, meditation and throwing yourself into your new job. ;-)
    Seriously, just take a deep breath and then keep on breathing.

    Prayers coming your way!

  373. I know a lot about fighting depression and I deeply admire you for going into open with your feelings. You are a strong person with loving heart and compassion. Keep going, it WILL get better.

  374. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time. When you’re in the middle of all of this it’s really hard to remember that it will get better, and you will feel better, but that day will come, you’ll wake up one day and realise that it’s been a few days since you felt really bad. In the meantime give yourself a break, take one day at a time and let yourself grieve. If your partner ccouldn’t deal with your depressiona and anxiety, that’s his problem, not yours, you haven’t made this happen, you are worthy of love the same as anybody.
    Depression and anxiety are rough and if I had soem money for everytime someone said to me ‘but you always look so happy’ I’d be able to buy you a new car and house outright.
    Hibernate, take some pressure off yourself, do only what really needs to be done and remember there are lots of people out there who care and who are thinkging about you.

  375. Hi! I can really relate to this. I too have had a battle against myself for the most part of my life. I’m also struggeling right now with a broken heart. I’m still so much in love and so is he but we are not good for each other right now så we had to say good bye and now all that is left is hurt.
    I don’t have any good tips but I believe that averything is going to be allright in the end.
    I try to do good stuff and try to talk to friends, even thou it’s hard.

    You do inspire. Even if you are sad or heartbroken. Life i shitty some times but it’s not forever.

    Hanna from Sweden.

  376. Dear Jillian,

    I have been following your blog from France since a few months and I was happy to follow your refashions and “enter” your little world even just virtually.

    Don’t give up, things can be hard sometimes but as long as you’re not alone, anything is
    possible and I sincerely hope it will soon get better for you.

    Think how Lucky you are to have such fantastic friends to support you. TO have done what you have done so far means you are probably stronger than you think so hold on !
    Meanwhile, hiding in a nest for a while is ok !

    Take care of yourself,


  377. I really feel your pain, and I’m very sad about your situation. I’m not going to give you advices, I only send a big big hug. I’m sure better days will come!

  378. So sorry to read about all the sad things that have happened to you! I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers (though I don’t know you in person or know if you’re a believer or not) Take care and I hope that you’ll feel better soon and find an apartment. That seems to be really difficult everywhere! Even in the small town in northern Sweden where I live, so I can really relate to that!

  379. Hi! I’ve started reading your blog 6 months ago, and it brought new perspectives in the way I think about clothes – I’m starting to stole my partner XXL T-shirts to turn them into dresses or skirts, I wonder how happy he is about it!
    Well, I just wanted to send you hughs from far far – yet sunny and warm – Italy, hoping to cheer you a little up.

    I’ll keep checking and hoping things will get better, and that you’ll let us know

  380. Hey what a jerk! He doesn’t deserve to have you as one of his special people. If he doesn’t realise how fab you are he’s clearly not a good guy, go find yourself a good guy. Your blog is great – it’s fun, original and real and doesn’t try and sell you lots of stuff that the blogger claims is great, but is really just paying them money to blog about them. Keep up the great work! I love your blog and how you turn really unpromising clothes into something great.

  381. You bring so much joy to so many people. Be kind to yourself. Sending love and good vibes from Perth, Australia. Xxx

  382. I usually lurk about for the fun vibes and the refashions, of course. Well, this time I guess is about time I posted something.
    All those years ago when you first started Refashionista, I guess (from reading the early entries) that you went through one of downs in your life. Refashioning kept you going, the challenge and exercise of doing it every day made your blog and took you where you are now. You did great things on the way, lots of exposure on how to live differently and use the resources we already have. In you I found a person who thinks alike. You have given a lot to the world.
    But now be selfish and take care of yourself first.
    All best

  383. Hey, I love your blog (even though I can’t saw to save my life), and had to send you some smiles & best wishes after this post. I went through smiller things in my life, anxiaty, light depretion, and then, two years ago at the age of 31, while I was going through a really good thearpy I was intruduced to a tiny pill, at a very low dossege, that just changed my life! Suddenly not everything is the end of the world, I’m happy with my job, I don’t feel so tired all the time. I still have bad days, but they don’t feel as ‘doomsdayish’ as they used to. It’s amazing to suddenly realize how the other hailf lives. I hope that help and that you will find the right place for you and your sewing machinne :) Nitzan, Israel

  384. When your anxiety acts up, ask yourself what’s the worst thing that could happen. When it’s depression, remember that it won’t last forever. I really like you, and you are special to me.

  385. I always enjoy reading your posts! You’re so talented & inspirational. I say stick with your plan to face your issues head on so when the next special person comes around your in a healthy place ;) You’ll get through this! xoxox

  386. Hang in there honey. Depression sucks but can get better with help. I’ve been dealing with it for over 35 years. As long as there’s one part of you still interested in life and determined to get to the good stuff you’re in good shape. Make your own nest if you have to.

  387. Hey Refashionista! Love your blog and have been anxiously awaiting your next post. I’m so sorry for your hard times. You are NOT unloveable. I won’t try to put a positive spin on this, but I am sending you good vibes and hoping for some sunshine for you. Thanks for doing what you do and keeping it real. Peace.

  388. As long as you get up one more time than you are knocked down, you are a complete success. Also, trying so hard to be happy all the time is exhausting, maniacal, and fraught with peril. Just go for balanced, centred, even-keeled, unmisearable. Get some ‘runs on the board’ with that first. And, I think your work is great.

  389. Look at you, in such emotional straits, creating grace and beauty out of one of the ugliest garments available today. I hope you recognize your own powers!

  390. I wish we could whisk you and all the people who have left such nice comments away on a fabulous free vacation full of thrift shopping with all the best ones in one spot and refashioning time with terrific chefs to feed all of us throughout the day. I love your blog – it is a gift to us. Thank you!

  391. Be strong (I know you are) and feel better. I think you have great coping skills. You talked about how bad things were and then you got up, did a Refashion and went out with friends! Good for you! Things will get better I know it! <3

  392. You are a brave and forthright woman. Know that I and others whose lives you touch appreciate your philosophy, talent, and zest for fashion. Hold fast. Better days are coming.

  393. I just want you to know,I’ve been reading your blog for the last year. I look forward to it every time it shows up in my email.

    I think you’re creative, funny, and sweet.

    You have every right to be upset. But his opinion does not define you. Things will get better and while they stink, listen to your “bloggees”! Everything gets better with time. You will survive and get past this. Everything just seems bad because it’s a bunch of little things piling up and you’re upset to begin with. It’s my opinion that you have the drive and I have faith in you. You’ve got friends, gumption and a good attitude. You’re going to get over this. Soon. I’m rooting for you. Please tell us your successes along the way. I know they’re coming!

  394. Thanks for being so transparent on your blog, your readers love YOU! Know you are not alone, there are thousands of others struggling with depression and anxiety every day! Hope tomorrow is a better day!

  395. You’ll be ok… life hands US some really big let downs but in the end its for a reason. The house will come, the car will be replaced and Douglas will always be that one special man in your life.
    In the meantime, hold on relax, and enjoy the small things in your life. The big one really will follow.
    AND never stop refashing! Your an inspiration to so many.
    Hugs, prayers, and lots of love are being sent your way.
    And it’s only 11 days til spring!

  396. A few years ago I saw The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel – I was going through a lot of crap at the time and was stressed about so much: family, finances, and the future…. A line from the movie really hit home, “it will all right in the end, if it’s not all right, it’s not the end.” And just this weekend I saw the The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel; and the line that gave me pause was, “there is no present like the time”. So, take the time, and know that in the end, it will be all right.

  397. This post is very timely for me, as I am also house-hunting and job-hunting while single and financially insecure. It is very difficult for me to “look on the bright side” even though I KNOW deep down that I am blessed with many things. Anxiety and depression are NOT friends to a job/house hunt, because every rejection = catastrophe.

    I’m just trying to ride out this wave of negativity and hope that things will improve for the better. I wish the same for you. :)

  398. I miss when you do not post… Sorry about Mark but so glad you are ok and taking real steps to manage your depression I pray that you will look back at this point in your life as the turning point. You have so much going for you. You are cute, smart, and talented; have a sense of humor, great job, and a nice circle of friends. Remember your online family too. Keep the faith.

  399. I’m sending you lots of good vibes and I would totally be the person with the cartoon above. It seems like you have some great people to surround yourself with, not to mention all of your totally awesome readers! I feel you on the house hunt thing too. It’s hard to find a place that’s safe, affordable, and most importantly, accepts dogs. Ironically, I live in a Columbia too. :)

  400. when my little 7 year old is feeling blue she comes to me with her quilt I made her and asks if I can “make her a nest”, then she curls up on the couch in said quilt and watches youTube videos of old cartoons like teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Scooby DO (etc) all day.. We call that a Mental Health Day. Its ok to take one when you need it *hugs*

    I wish I could make you a nest so you could watch some cartoons and maybe feel a little ok again.

  401. That really sucks. I’m so sorry your life is hard right now. I struggle with depression too, and I’m so sorry that it’s been compounding all these already-difficult situations. I’m so glad that you did this refashion- frankly, it’s a miracle that you made one of those grody graduation robes look so good! ;) and I’m also glad for all the people in your life who DO love and support you, even if they can only express that through a paragraph from behind a computer screen. I think you’re super rad and I’m sending lots of love and hope your way. <3

  402. To say you just tied it around yourself, it looks amazing!

    Personally, try to keep your head up. I know life looks bleak right now, but it will turn around. I know. I’ve been there/am there. Life is constant ups and downs, and the only way I get through the downs is to know that eventually it will go up again. Take care and be strong.

  403. Thank you for reaching out with a “HELP!”. Sending much healing love and admiration to your beautiful, talented self. I always admire the lovely inner light that comes through in all your photos. Even though every day hurts like hell, and feels like the world is against you, you’ve gotten through this before and you will again. Once you get through this tunnel of ick, guaranteed there will be bright light at the end. It seems the rental home is your biggest challenge, so sending prayers that the perfect one shows up NOW.

  404. Hey lady! Want to say that i think you are so talented and creative! When i got back into sewing your blog greatly inspired me! i love seeing what you come up with and it helped me to try it too! I know about stress and struggle and family issues. . It’s tough, sometimes too much, but venting it out (even to strangers on a blog) helps relieve those feelings so go ahead and let it go. . We will listen! I hope you get to feeling better and better times come your way!

  405. I am almost 66. I love your blog. I love your darling face. I love to see how you take things awful and make things usable, adorable or just plain cute. Depression is an illness. I have had it for years. And sometimes I fall into the black hole. And stay there for awhile. Then I crawl out. And get back into the world. The world is cruel because they don’t know WHO you are. But we, your faithful readers, know you and your sense of fun and adventure. As for men? I am lucky to have a great one. But they are not the be all and end all. You will survive. Let yourself relax. Then go and find another rental. You know we’re all behind you!!!!! Pretend all of us who have responded are giving you HUGSSSSSS………

  406. I am sure you have been told this over and over again but, hang in there because it will get better. I have been where you are. If you love someone but they can’t deal with the funk that comes with depression then it is best that they move on because they are not what you really need. I thought I had found the one but he couldn’t deal with the crushing depression that would come over me. And I get it, dealing with someone who is basically catatonic and goes through the motions is not easy. I am not an easy person to live with but I am worth the effort to put into sharing a life with. You are too because you do not give in. You try even when you no longer want to try. You are worth the effort. And there is someone out there who will not be selfish with their time and will put that effort in. “There is a light in the darkness of everybody’s life.” Your’s seems to be your awesome friends. I am glad that you have them as your family to help you and support you through this rough time.
    Thank you for giving me so much joy and inspiration! I and all your followers appreciate your presence whether you are happy or blue.

    p.s. try not to clock the people who come up to you and say, “smile!”

  407. Jillian,
    You are so loved, and so valuable – like the pearl of great price. No one can take that away. Much love, and prayers for peace and stability.
    Big hugs from beautiful (and chilly) South Dakota. :)

  408. You inspire so many! I have always been a thrift and resale shopper, but with your amazing ideas through your blog, I see clothing so differently, now. I am not great at fashion, whatsoever, but I do have a certain style and some sewing talent. Sewing is my stress relief; it relaxes me, and helps me fee productive. I haven’t sewn clothing for my kids or myself in so long, because it doesn’t have quick results. over the last few years, I’ve gotten into making rag dolls, and lots of doll clothes, because it had quick results and children are so appreciative of these. But your blog has changed all that! You showed me so much possibilty! I have been inspired and see clothing differently, now. It’s amazing! Now, when I’m at the thrift store and I find a top with a pattern I like, but something doesn’t work for me, I still grab it. I don’t have to say, “Only if it didn’t have that on it.” or “Only if it were like this.” Now, I can make it that way! I can’t believe I never thought to do this before! I successfully made several long sleeve shirts into short sleeve shirts for my daughter and I and we are very pleased! I can take it one step further, though… I use the cut sleeves to make doll clothes for my younger girls. A favorite pair of out-grown capris was made into a pair of shorts and two doll dresses. I loved a floral pattern on a top, but the long sleeves were a bit overwhelming. I shortened the sleeves and made doll desses. A dress was too big, and my daughter liked the skirt, so I took it apart to make a skirt, cropped jacket, and the beading was removed to make a necklace for my youngest. So much fun! Now, I have an excuse to buy baby clothes again, as I am making doll clothes out of them! You have inspired me sooo soooo much! And made 3 young girls very happy!

  409. Big, big, BIG hugs to you. Thanks for putting yourself out there – the good days, and the bad. Your posts always make me smile and I wanted to say “Thanks.”

  410. Do you read The Bloggess? She’s a nice reminder that we’re not alone.

    Also, you’re like the only person I “know” who could just tie something around yourself and look high fashion dahling.

  411. I’ve been there. A mountain of shit (that usually comes in threes), also led me to the happiest point in my life. A couple years ago my dog died, my boyfriend (of 4 years) left me for another, and my car got stolen – all in the matter of a month.

    It was the worst thing I’ve ever lived through. I also deal with depression and anxiety and at that point succumbed to both general anger at the world and a huge driving urge to prove the universe wrong. I found drive I never had before to make myself better – even if it was out of spite.

    That period of shit lasted only a few months, and then turned into complete and utter pride at what I had accomplished. Since then I’ve felt pretty invincible, and you will absolutely get there. Ride it out, squash the sadness with whatever emotion you can grasp at for a while, and then conquer whatever gets in your way. You can totally do this.

  412. As a fellow anxious, depressed lady experiencing a tough patch in her life, I just wanted to send you a virtual hug. You are an awesome human being and the misery is temporary. Keep kicking butt and inspiring your readers to try new things. We appreciate all that you do.

  413. We’re all going to have bad days and some more than others. However, you are an amazing lady doing amazing things that needs to appreciate your self worth. We never like to show weakness because we don’t want others to see us in a vulnerable state. Hang in there sending you postive vibes your way.

  414. I am sending prayers and good vibes your way. You are a very talented person and I don’t know you personally but you seem to be a great friend to others. I believe in placement in this world and a time and reason for everything. You have brought joy and inspiration in a dreary world. That is your gift! May you receive it back triple-fold!!

  415. I’ve loved reading your blog for a while now. I’m sending you good vibes in the fight we’re both fighting. Take care. Always keep fighting.

  416. I’m so sorry to hear that you are having a rough time lately. It really sounds like that whole “when it rains it pours” analogy. Although, thank you for being so frank about your struggles. I also have grappled with depression most of my life and totally understand what you mean when you say you have to try really hard to be happy. It’s so frustrating. But, I appreciate you being able to put it out there in such a public way, as I feel that depression is so stigmatized and therefor people who experience it feel shameful; which they shouldn’t! I spent a good portion of the last decade feeling shameful, wondering what was wrong with me, and losing relationships that were important to me because the so couldn’t figure out how to deal w/ my depression. Slowly, I came to realize that I am how I am (and I received some significant medical information on why exactly… it’s literally in my genes) and that even if I never truly conquer depression, I’ve learned to live with it. I admit, that I was also lucky enough to find a husband who wasn’t scared off by my low-low points and who was willing to build that nest and get in it with me until I could crawl out. I certainly hope you find your way out of this low soon; we’re all rooting for you.

  417. Hi! I know I’m a total stranger, so this won’t mean much, but I think you are terrific! Your blog brings me a lot of happiness and helps me through tough days when my depression and anxiety are getting me down.

    So, a great big thank you to you, and I hope you are able to get to a good place in record time.

  418. I’m just one of hundreds that wishes you well! I’m so sorry you are hurting but everything will work itself out. Much love from Ohio! (:

  419. This is such a good description: “I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. Most days I’m great. But then some days are just awful. It’s just always been that way since I was a little kid. I’m one of those people who have to try really really hard to be happy. And sometimes, especially when things seem really awful, I can’t do it. And I hate that about myself.”

    And I know how you feel. Not exactly, as we haven’t been through the same experiences, but that descriptions … just, I understand. And though we don’t “know” each other, you can rest assured that you’re not alone.

  420. Hang in there. I know I can’t know how you are feeling, but there are people praying for you and supporting you (and you don’t even know it). Keep the faith. I will hope that things look up for you soon. Always enjoy reading about your life – the good, the bad, and the refashioned.

  421. Many thoughts and prayers going your way. They say that the man upstairs does not give you anything that you cannot handle, but sometimes you have to wonder if he really is going overboard. All you can do is just keep fighting the good fight and know that there is a plan. Much love!!!!!!!

  422. Sweet girl, just know that you’re my FAVORITE Re-fashionista EVER, and you’re very loved in every way! Other people will never make us happier than we can make ourselves, so go on out there and set the world on FIRE……… when you’re ready! We will wait patiently so you can do whatever you need to do for yourself…………

  423. I don’t usually comment but I wanted you to know that I appreciate your honesty and the fact you are trying to move forward. Thank you. Life sucks sometimes, it sucks for some more than others sometimes and just getting out of bed somedays can seem like a accomplishment, let alone blogging. Again thank you, sending good vibes you way

  424. I have read, followed, and been inspired by your blog for quite a while, and yet have never posted before now. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and challenges with us. I’m sure I speak for all your readers when I say you are a creative, interesting, beautiful person, and that reaching out for help is courageous. I hope you are surrounded by your chosen family whom I’m sure love you dearly!

  425. I don’t suffer from depression, but my husband does and I am actively trying to learn more about depression and specifically how to love my husband through it and how to keep it from destroying our marriage. Seeing your blog post and reading the comments have helped me on that path to understanding. I am thankful for that. One thing I know for sure is that you are not alone. We are all cheering for you and waiting for the good times to return so that you’re able to get back to doing your thing and spreading your inspiration.

  426. I’m sorry everything seems to be crashing down in your life right now. While I don’t know much about your personal life, I know what it’s like to be in a low place. I am sending good vibes and thoughts, and hope that soon the good days will return.

  427. I have suffered from depression for most of my life. so I know I can say this: I will totally build a little nest with you and we can drink tea (or wine) together. And then I would just hold your hand in silence. Because sometimes, life just sucks and we need someone who will sit quietly WITH us in the midst of our misery.

  428. ((((Jillian)))) be well! Know you are loved by many!! Good vibes heading your way!!

    Take yourself to your local health food store for some happy camper … I can’t live without it. As someone very much like you this has helped me tremendously!! This herbal has been a life saver for me!!!! Its all herbal with no wonky side effects. Make sure you aren’t allergic to any of the ingredients and check with your doctor before using it :)

  429. Know that your blog inspires me daily to try to create something new. Thank you for being inspiring. Sending you good vibes and hugs!

  430. I am so sorry that you are hurting… You have no idea how happy you make others with your delightful sense of humor and inspiring re-fashions. Thank you for sharing – it serves as a reminder to me that just because someone is smiling they can be hurting. Your sharing will remind me to be a more caring person and a better friend to others. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you how happy I am anytime I see your blog in my in-box. I adore you! Diane, Laguna Beach CA

  431. i love the concept of refashioning for the benefit of our environment and the judgement statement it makes about the fashion industry, but i don’t really read this blog because of that…i come back to it daily because your personality shines through in so many of your posts and i feel connected to you in ways that i don’t always feel connected to the people right in front of me…my heart is hurting for you and i am sending you all the good vibes i can…i hope that feel supported through all of this and that the effort it takes you to be happy is lessened as each burden is lifted…even in this dark time, you have made me smile and surprised me with your talent!

  432. Oh honey. My heart hurts for you. I can actually feel your pain coming right off the page. I am so sorry you are feeling this way, and I totally understand it (as someone who also struggles with anxiety and depression). A wise woman once told me that it’s these hard times when you are just “between opportunities.” Take care of yourself, wallow in it as long as you need to, and then get up and start kicking more ass! You are an incredibly funny, smart and talented person, and you WILL find your lifelong “favorite person.” We are all pulling for you!

  433. I am Diane’s mom. Also from Laguna Beach, CA
    We both love you and your blogs brighten our days! I know how you are hurting right now, and how words don’t seem to be effective in easing our hurt.
    We love your sense of humor, your creativity and your sense of fun

  434. Wow, thank you for the honest post. You never know what kind of battle someone is fighting. I know it makes some people uncomfortable talking about illnesses and being so candid but it has been an eye opener that sometimes we wear masks to hide what we are feeling. hopefully things will start coming around soon for you, stay strong.

  435. i love to hear from you, not to be nosey or anything but you are so good at this fashion stuff.. im not going to say its said bc we all go through rough times. i will pray for you for God to give you peace, comfort and strength.. its ok to have bad days or bad times just dont stay there, get back up… blessings :)

  436. I’m so incredibly sorry that life has shit on you lately! Things WILL get better and hopefully you receive some measure of comfort from all these strangers who care for you so much! You have been such an inspiration to so many of us (myself included)! Thank you for being you, you are a treasure!

    HUGS!!! Good luck! (Everyone can use a bit of luck, right? ). ;^)