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My Fifth Chemotherapy Treatment: One More to Go!

How to Add a Hood to Almost Anything
Happy Thanksgiving Romper to Dress DIY

Hey Friends! It’s been almost a week since my most recent chemo session.

Everyone says the last two chemo treatments are the really hard ones.

Unfortunately, in my case, they are correct.

My first chemotherapy treatment was tough. Thankfully, my second treatment went a lot easier and left me feeling like I had a pretty good idea of what to expect as far as side effects go. My third chemo treatment was…well…harder. And my fourth chemo treatment left me pretty wiped out.

Chemo Round 5: So Over It

Mr. Refashionista and I have a running joke.

Right before we leave for my infusion session on chemo day, I look down at my phone. “Huh. Well will you look at that. I just got a text from my oncologist. He said I’ve done sooooo well with chemo that I’m all done!”

Of course, that’s not gonna happen.

refashionista in vintage sweater, skirt, and hat
You’re cute, but no dice.

How am I holding up?

I’m weak. I’m exhausted. I feel sick. :/

More than anything, I’m just so very over all of this.

Chemo hasn’t been what I thought it would be. It’s less acute and more grueling. Less sharp pangs and more throbbing. It’s a slow grind that’s wearing me down bit by bit.

refashionista in vintage purple sweater
$1 thrifted vintage sweater, $1 thrifted vintage skirt, vintage hat (that used to be my grandmother’s), $2 thrifted earrings, & $3 yard sale bracelet!

On the bright side, I haven’t experienced any new side effects, just more of the same old ones.

Brian has been a phenomenal caregiver, but I know it’s hard for him to see me sick and exhausted all the time. I love him so much, and I wish I could make this easier for him.

Christmastime in Cancerland

Being sick over the holidays is especially challenging. I want to be festive and energized. I want to be present for my friends and family. I want to spend hours baking and decorating Christmas cookies, cakes, and all sorts of other treats.

Last weekend (before my treatment), we put up our Christmas tree. I put on a Christmas music station to get us in the holiday mood.

closeup of thread spool ornament
My grandmother made a bunch of these and now they belong to me! Appropriate, no?

Ever notice how depressing a lot of Christmas music is? LOTS of diminished chords (WHY?!?). We ended up having to change the station to an Indie Chill station when it got to be too much.

We just don’t know how many Christmases we have left together. We don’t know if my treatment will work. We don’t know that my cancer won’t come back.

It’s almost over!

Just. One. More. That’s what I keep telling myself. I just have to go through this one more time.

My Fifth Chemotherapy Treatment: One More to Go! 1
Big Earrings + Beret = My fave look right now!

Yes, it’ll be the hardest one with the longest recovery period, but it will hopefully be the END of all of this. That’s what we have to believe to keep going.

I’m going to keep blogging as much as I can between now and my next (FINAL) treatment. I have a few fun holiday refashions up my thrifted sleeve I can’t wait to share!

Just think…in less than a month we’ll be celebrating the end of my cancer treatment/the beginning of a (hopefully) much better year.

I can’t flippin wait.

Cheers!

How to Add a Hood to Almost Anything
Happy Thanksgiving Romper to Dress DIY

132 thoughts on “My Fifth Chemotherapy Treatment: One More to Go!”

  1. You will get thru these treatments one day, one hour, sometimes one minute at a time. But you will get there. And somehow you will grow and be stronger for it.
    Love your blog and your beautiful spirit. Sending you love and prayers from New Jersey. Merry Christmas!

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  2. I am so glad you have an outlet to express how you feel while facing the nemesis that is cancer. Your story is true and authentic. I think you are a good example to others that expressing your true feelings can help to alleviate them, even if it’s just for a little while. We are a family battling cancer, and yes, there is fear, yes, there is hope, but all in all there are no rules when it comes to how you feel. And we leave that open to them. If they want to talk about it, we do. If they want to do something else and pretend it doesn’t exist, we do that too. Continue to fight, little one. You are valuable and worthy.

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  3. I started following you a few years ago. I’d see your post and loved how you can take a piece of clothing & create a whole new piece. Then I didn’t see any post from you and I wondered where you went. Well now I know and I just want to say I’m sorry you are going thru what your going thru! I see a strong independent woman with talent and a lot to offer and the inspiration you bring to your followers!! You keep going and do not give up!!! Also drink sour sop tea! Learned that from a very wise Jamaican women who has helped my family member survive and actually has shrunk her brain tumor. Sorry this is so long!!! Wish u the best!

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  4. I see love is being sent from all over the place, so here is some love from Spain as well. You’re amazing and you’ve got this. Happy holidays <3

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  5. If wishes could make you better, you’d be better. In the meantime you have such a great approach to life and all it brings, you have your wonderful love, and you have the latest in medicine to fight this disease. Sending you warm thoughts and hopes, from here where we are also spending Christmas in Cancerland. Cherish every good moment.

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  6. I LOVE your blog but hadn’t seen it since way before the Covid situation began and unfortunately the first one I came across was one about your cancer battle. I was in shock! But my heart and prayers are with you. You’re a very brave girl and based on comments I’ve seen, there are LOTS of people praying for you. You have a wonderfully supportive husband, friends and subscribers.
    I read somewhere that every fifth person in this world is touched by cancer is some way. That includes me. I lost my sister to breast cancer 20 years ago, but she was diagnosed too late. Plus, medicine has come a LONG way since then and two other members of my family are fighting the battle against cancer and winning – my husband and my sister-in-law. My husband’s was prostate and he’s now in remission. My sister-in-law had breast cancer, bowel cancer and uterine cancer – a “triple whammy”. She’s endured three surgeries, chemo, radiation and she’s doing great! Hang on to life sweet girl, let yourself rest and sleep as much as you can, allow yourself to be lazy when you don’t feel well. Keep up your good nutrition plan. Focus on what you CAN do when you can do it and don’t worry about what you can’t, worry won’t help make you better. Focus on your wonderful husband and let your sweet doggies cuddle you. You WILL get through this! When my husband was dealing with post-radiation effects, our 100 lb. mutt would curl up with him – it always made him feel better.

    Be well, be happy, your chemo is almost over and soon you’ll be feeling better. You will be in my prayers ever day. I admire your courage. Remember you are LOVED!

    God bless you; may Christmas and the New Year bring you all good news!

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  7. Merry Christmas! I love that you have managed to continue some holiday traditions [grandma’s ornaments are the absolute best!], but my hope for you during this recovery time is that you are able to live in the moment. No “what if’s” and “if only’s”. Let your besties come over and bake those cookies! Have a goofy sing-a-long to sappy Christmas music! Have “Jammies All Day” as an EVENT! Unfortunately, I had FOUR pre-Christmas surgeries over the course of 6 years and let me tell ya, it was hell on me…not to be able to do everything I wanted to do for my family on my most favorite holiday. It wasn’t until I gave in and asked for help from my friends that I discovered the true meaning of Christmas: LOVE. They did that. My sons did that. My husband did that. So, dear heart, I wish you LOVE.

    Wendy

    P.S. I wish I could bring you some of my award winning caramel and chocolate coated popcorn and pecans. Bliss!

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  8. I agree with everything Sharon says, and she has put it so well. I am a nurse, English born and for many years now living and working in France and with French nationality too. I applaud your courage, your enthousiasm for life, and your strength that maybe you don’t think you have, but that we all know is a big part of you. I have been following your blog for many years and you have been an inspiration to me on many an occasion. You have a whole lot of good people surrounding you and a whole ‘nother bunch of us who are your virtual friends and who love you too. Does that sound wierd or corny ? Hope not. Keep going, you are nearly done with the chemo, and we are with you all the way. God bless xxx

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  9. You are in our hearts and in our prayers. May the collective love of all who adore you bring you comfort. We are all rooting for you and appreciate you sharing the good and the bad. Complaining is therapeutic and we are here to hear all about it. We wait with anticipation to hear that this chemo business is over and that you are getting stronger and healthier. May you and your Mister and family find some peace and comfort this holiday season, and know that we all wish for you the very best. Hugs from southern Colorado.

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  10. just love your grandmother’s ornaments. i have old wooden spools and now i know what to do with them. Love the outfit too. the comments say very well how we feel. keeping you in our hearts. you so have this. just one more. you can do this. stay strong!

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  11. Praying for you! Cancer is an ugly little sweater vest that you will refashion into a beautiful, long life! Can’t wait for the day to read your blog entitled, “I Kicked Cancer’s A$$!”

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  12. Praying for you! Praying for healing to flow through your whole body! I just love you, you are the cutest. I love your outfit too. Hugs!

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  13. So sorry to know you are having to go through these times:-( I am a person of faith and am praying for you!! You are a courageous lady! When I see your posts, I read them immediately:-)

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  14. Jillian,
    I truly hope that the year 2021 is everything you want it to be and deserve it to be!
    All the very best to you and Brian as you continue this fight each day.
    I am always looking forward to more of your refashions. I do not sew but started following you because you remind me of my Mom. She was a very talented seamstress and I wore her refashions for years! She was an extraordinary woman and so are you!
    Fondly,
    Lynn Howard

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  15. Wishing you, your husband and doggies a wonderful Christmas and hopefully better New Year. I love the sewing spool garland. I remember wooden spools age ha ha. Sending you many prayers and healing thoughts. Prove them wrong be a tough young bird and live each day to the fullest and happiest. Take it from other cancer warriors cancer is a word not a SENTENCE! The Drs are only practicing medicine. Rest when you need to, eat when you feel able and refashion as needed. We are pulling for you.

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  16. I have just read through each and every one of the comments here. What lovely people and how much they (we) all care about you!

    Then a picture popped into my head – of you standing in the middle of a circle and all these people standing around you, sending love, prayers, good wishes, inspirational thoughts and kind words. It was so powerful and made me realise that this is group healing and you are the recipient!!

    2021 is just around the corner. Waiting for you to come and hang out and have an amazing year! Healthy, happy and in love!!

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  17. I know you keep hearing this but.. Stay Strong, Stay Positive! Cancer sucks and it’s terrible but you have a great husband and support! Let’s all hope 2021 is positive in many ways! God bless you

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  18. Speak to that Cancer – “For God has not given you a Spirit of Fear, but of Power, Love and a Sound Mind”. You got this girl. Prayer is the best, not the least we can do for a talented, gifted, girl like you. And praying is what we do !!!

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  19. I love sentimental things, too! The ornament! The beret! So special! Sending LOTS of wishes for good health and strength to you. You. Got. This!

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  20. Your “I love him so much and I wish I could make this easier for him.” hit me hard. A love story like that, gosh, not everybody finds. Well wishes, healing vibes and prayers for you always..

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  21. Sending you love and hearfelt healing wishes. Your outfit is fabulous, and I love that your hat was your grandmother’s! One more treatment to go, then you can give 2020 the boot and look forward to a great 2021!

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  22. To wish you Brian and the doggies a blessed Christmas in this poo of a year. Love the latest outfit- a breath of fresh air -like you always are. Take care, take it easy and keep being creative and the amazing lady we all look on our Pinterest boards to find! With love from England looking forward to end of 2020and a better 2021 x

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  23. You are definitely a very uplifting person! I think of you so often when I get online in the morning. Life is such a funny thing for sure and you do not know what tomorrow will bring….but we just have faith and take the next step and see what God has for us. Lots of big hugs and “nana” kisses to you.

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  24. Your strength and grace amaze me. I think of you often and pray that this horrid time passes and you are victorious over this disease. Keep your chin up and in the words of Dorie from Finding Nemo, “Keep Swimming”. Sending you virtual hugs and lots of love.

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  25. I’ve typed, backspaced & re typed at least four times. Everything I want to say seems like lame platitudes & advice you don’t need from someone who hasn’t walked a mile in your fabulous (thrifted) shoes. So I’ll keep it simple (stupid)….Here’s to a better (& healthier) 2021.

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  26. Mi novio y yo también pasamos por esta situación del cáncer ahora, acá en México. Él es artista, es pintor y escultor y está lleno de creatividad, de fuerza y ganas de vivir, pronto comenzará su tratamiento de inmunoterapia y quimioterapia. Algunos días he tenido miedo y tristeza pero me esfuerzo por estar fuerte pars ayudarlo y cuidarlo a él. Saber tu noticia del cáncer al mismo tiempo que mi novio me ha dolido mucho, pero de alguna forma me hizo sentir que no estamos solos en esto y que podemos lograrlo. ¡Tú también lo lograrás! Te incluiré en mis oraciones desde ahora.
    Me gustaría intercambiar algunos emails contigo, espero sea posible,
    Te mando un abrazo con cariño,
    Reyna

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  27. You have been constantly in my thoughts this past week as I knew you must be due your next treatment and I hoped you would cope well with it. Here in the UK where treatment is freeish, a few years ago, while having my two monthly infusion for a condition I have, I met a wonderful lady having a transfusion who told me she was just getting her money’s worth and proving them wrong. Doctors had once told her she wouldn’t make it to Christmas, that was ten years before I met her. Being and staying positive, which you have more than showed yourself to be, is what she told me was the most important and sometimes hardest thing to do, particularly when you feel as if the the you that makes you the person you are has disappeared. Remember never feel guilty on days you can’t do anything and take it slowly on the good days until you’re over this blip.
    You are a shining star and are loved by those who read your blogs as well as your ‘real’ friends and family, think of us as the audience clapping and cheering you on. Take care of yourself xXx

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  28. Praying for you all along this rocky road, precious sister. This Christmas don’t think that you should be bustling around doing Christmas tasks. Warm flannel jammies, pups, hub nearby, maybe cocoa and a kids’ Christmas movie, and just rest your body as it works to heal. At some later date I hope you’ll tell us more about your grandma’s handmade decorations. Sending so much love your way.

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  29. I have been a follower of yours for some years now – all the way from South Africa.
    Reading all the comments above just totally emulates what I feel.
    You are such a trooper and a warrior – hopefully these messages will encourage you on days you feel really crappy.
    One more, just one more to go.
    Hang in – you are such an inspiration – not only with your refashions, but with the person you are and the fact that you shared this very personal journey with us.
    wishing you and Mr Refashionista a blessed Christmas!

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  30. Jillian,
    I second all the positivity and prayers of everyone else! I have been following your saga quietly. What you are dealing with is so much harder than most people think. If you want some different Christmas music try Tran-Siberian Orchestra. All the albums tell a story which you can look up online. If you like them they are doing a Livestream Friday December18th. There is a lot of great words in the music and the stories.
    Hugs

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  31. Oh Jillian, I know I speak for those of us who have been following you for years that we wish we could just hug you and make it better. You are a source of joy and creativity and inspiration. You give so mjuch to the blog and your readers and we appreciate it more than you can know. Hang in there, honey, and just keep going to your happy place during those treatments. Peace and love.

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  32. Look at how many wonderful replies you have received! You are loved by so many!!!! ( And we all have fallen in love with Mr.Refashionista too!) You are almost there kiddo! Keeping you both in my prayers!

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  33. It’s you and your words that are inspiring the outpouring of love, encouragement and hope here. Even in your fight you are making 2020 better than it wants to be. Thank you

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  34. Wishing you well, & Merry Christmas. I love your creative work, plus your candid posts of treatment. You look beautiful & stylish.

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  35. Jillian, you have inspired a legion of admiring refashionistas! Wishing you much love and happiness for this Christmas from Texas!

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  36. You are coming to the end of your personal marathon and that will be very challenging, but you will finish, and then you will need time to recuperate and repair. You may be frustrated that you can’t give of yourself the way you would normally at Christmas time, but your family and friends are going to really enjoy being able to give to you this year to show how much they love you. Sending you lots of love from Sydney, Australia

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  37. You are not only wonderfully creative and delightful you are amazingly brave. You inspire in so many ways. Wishing you a swift recovery from your last round of chemo. ❤️

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  38. Jillian, you seriously need to get the Chipmunks Christmas album! Did you listen to that as a kid? Not depressing at all! (The high-pitched voices might get annoying though.).
    When day by day is too much, get through it all hour by hour! You are an inspiration to all of us out in Refashionista-land! ❤️

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  39. You’ve got this girlfriend. You are stronger than you think. You are stuck with each and every one of us. Who would dress us and teach us how to make amazing outfits? No one but you.
    You have got me through some tough times when I lost my Mom.. I can’t wait to see what our Fashionista has in store for us in 2021.
    Hugs
    Lynn S

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  40. You don’t even look like you are doing chemo!! You look so vibrant!! And just let your hubby take care of you….you would do the same for him! I don’t know how you remember where you got all your items and the price! Thanks for sharing your journey and your honesty. I’m sure it is very unsettling but many have walked this road. We are all rooting for you but take care of yourself!

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  41. Sending you both light for the journey and for healing. You are loved, respected and appreciated. Do not feel pressured to blog or to do anything other that what feels good and what you want to do. We will all be here cheering you on…..rest up and enjoy the moments that you are able to this season!

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  42. Sending you and the Mr some big hugs.

    It’s ok to be a bit blue. This is really sucky and I look forward to things getting better for you.

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  43. I so admire how honest you are being with us about your feelings. It’s got to be the healthy way to deal with this. I can only imagine how difficult the unknowns are. Cancer always sucks, ovarian cancer sucks more than many others, and cancer during 2020 has got to be one of the biggest sucks of all. Sending you love and positive vibes and wishes for you to be cancer free for good!

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  44. As you can see, you are loved…and a lot of prayers are being said for you and Mr. Refashionista. Sending wishes for peace and joy…and of course, prayers!

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  45. Your so strong. You have a good attitude. I can only imagine what you are going through. My prayers are with you. Jackie

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  46. Love you, love your blog and all the good it’s done- I’ve seen three continents represented so far– how far you’ve reached with your positive up-cycling message for sustainability!!
    Thanks for being you!
    –Forever reader

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  47. My prayer is that this is the last, that your recovery is quick, and that you always feel loved, even by strangers from far away! ❤️

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  48. Comme tu es admirable ; tu as le courage et le fun pour braver les montagnes, non ? Toi et ton chéri êtes faits pour vivre plein de bons moments et, en cette fin d’année, je t’adresse tous mes voeux pour que 2021 soit vraiment meilleure. Pascale (de France) qui est devenue une fan très fidèle. A très bientôt de te lire. Bises généreuses..

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  49. My heart goes out to you and all those who are ill or getting treatments, now or at any time. May your attitude and support help you through this.

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  50. I think you are amazing. Thank you for your posts. I so look forward to hearing how you are doing. I hope your Christmas is beautiful. Sending lots of hope and love your way❤️

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  51. Thanks for taking the time to describe what this feels like for you. I think it makes the world a better place. The more honesty there is circulating around, the higher the collective quality of life becomes. And quality of life is something that can be expanded, as evidenced by your blog and your grandma’s hat and your big freaking earrings! I sincerely hope and pray that you will also have quantity of life as well, marked by many more christmases with your Love. One more to go. You got this.

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  52. Sooo close! I am constantly amazed at your honesty, strength, and willingness to share. I’m sure your posts have helped countless others face their own trials!

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  53. Sending my thoughts, hopes and prayers to you! You must be feeling the love of your many, many followers – may it strengthen you! Merry Christmas.

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  54. Older follower here and it breaks my heart to watch a young, beautiful girl have to go through anything like this. But I know, I can tell, how super strong you are and that you have a wonderful partner to help you through the difficult days. Lay back and let this Christmas flow over you, let others do while you hang back and watch, savor & admire. Salty crackers & pretzels for the upset tummy, but when you feel like eating, eat the things that will put some meat on your bones (sorry, it’s the grandmother in me)! Truly sending my best thoughts to you. You are a marvelous, creative spirit, a sprite with a mischievous glint in your eye, ready to conquer all, maybe not today but definitely tomorrow. Love to you at this special time of the year…..holding your hand from afar.

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  55. Dear beautiful Jill you are amazing and yes seize every single moment, one day at a time! I was thinking of you earlier today and here you are in my email— yay! Your big earrings and grandma’s beret are an awesome look and you’re rocking that purple and yellow too. Sending you a huge hug.

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  56. As a ongtime reader from Germany I send love and best wishes to the other side of the ocean! We all wish the best for you. You’re an inspiration!

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  57. Long time reader, not a lot of comments. You do everything you need to get through this. You and Mr. Refashionista have many, many more Christmas’s to look forward to. You’re young and strong and a fighter. I love your blog and I love your style in decorating and fashion. I believe in you. Merry Christmas and Happy FREAKING New Year!

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  58. Thank you, as always for your honest reflections. Go easy on yourself- you don’t have to be superwoman all the time. Hope it helps to know that there are thousands of positive thoughts and prayers being beamed your way from your legion of admirers, including from this one. Wishing you a happy and healthy 2021.
    P.S. The spool ornaments are perfect.

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  59. You rock! Thank you for your honesty & sharing your experiences. You’ve put an incredible positive frame around cancer- it can be conquered

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  60. Thank you for being so authentic and real throughout this difficult ordeal. Group hug from all of your followers. I have never done a refashion in my life but I love your blog, your personality shines through.

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  61. You are so hard on yourself! Just relax and let your body fight and heal. I know your hubby loves to take care of you. I am continually inspired by your positivity though!! You can do this!

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  62. Almost done and nothing but good things ahead of you. My moms oncologist said that patients with a good outlook get better results, in his experience. You’ve got this. ❤️

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  63. I’m very proud of you for keeping up the re-fashions! My cancer treatment ended 10 years ago and I can assure you I accomplished very little during that time. All my best!

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  64. You look absolutely precious. Love the ornaments and hat from your grandmother. Those things are so special. One more to go…look how far you’ve come. You have family, friends and followers that adore you. Sending good thoughts, prayers and hugs your way.

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  65. We all continue to pray for you and send nothing but the best wishes to you and your husband! Thank you for still giving us updates. And you definitely look adorable

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  66. Wishing you the best of everything…health, energy, patience, perseverance, joy, peace, and most of all love. Good luck with this last bit, you’ve got this. xoxo

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  67. You’re so funny but also so REAL. Big hugs to you and hubs! None of this is fair but prayers for better things soon. Take good care!

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  68. You look cuter in a beret than anyone I have ever seen! I love your posts and have shared them with my fellow frugal friends far and wide. Sending light and love and good vibes your way. You may feel weak and exhausted but your words are powerful and there is strength in them. Thank you for sharing that.

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  69. I can’t flippin’ wait either! Its gonna be great to know that’s a DONE. And I’m with you on Christmas songs – why are they so terrible? The best ones are instrumental. I love Charlie Brown Christmas by Vince Guaraldi Trio and December by George Winston. All the beauty of winter, no depressing chords and lyrics!!

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  70. I love hearing from you. So glad to hear there’s only one treatment left. I hope the holidays are a bit of a ray of sunshine for you. You’re absolutely right about Christmas songs being so … ugh… they’re a downer a lot of the time – so melancholy. Will you have a holiday-theme outfit? I love what you did with this one – I do like the colours but I adore your beret! It’s so genuine. A lot of berets are too small – yours is perfect!

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  71. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this but so glad that you’re going through it with so much supportive from your hubby. I’m not advocating marijuana use but only want to pass on what I know to be truth for a friend of mine who had breast cancer and went through chemo and radiation. She got so weak after her treatment because she couldn’t keep food down, she was just so nauseous and in pain. She tried smoking a joint and that is what got her to the point that she could keep food down and gain some strength to get to the next treatment. I know how hard it is but you have such a positive attitude and so many adoring fans that you will beat this and you and your hubby will have many, many, many more happy years together. Sending you warm thoughts, happy vibes and prayers.

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  72. 2019 was not very good for me, and 2020 was even worse … but you have helped me look to the future with anticipation and hope. I wish for you that the last treatment will be good–even if the only good thing is that it is the last treatment!

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  73. Love your outfit!! Love that you are almost done! Love that you take the time to inspire all of us! Sending lots of healing hugs from

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  74. Sending you a big hug and my best wishes to you and Mr R. Your Refashionista family is pulling for you! ❤️❤️❤️ Cheers to many more Christmas’s and many more refashions!

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  75. You are in the hearts and prayers of people all over. While we decorate our trees and light our menorahs, we are with you.

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  76. Was just thinking about you (way up here in the Great White North — Canada) — so glad to hear this update and that the end of chemo is near. Sending you healthy vibes and thoughts and will be waiting for your next update. YOU GOT THIS!

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  77. If it had to be any year this would be the one. The holidays are messed up… pretty much everything is messed up… Hang in. 2020 will end. We’ll start fresh in the new year and I feel in my heart that you do have many many brighter days to look forward to…

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  78. Oh hon, I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time. I wish only good things for you. You’re in my prayers and my heart. *Gentle hugs*

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  79. Love the color block outfit, you need some red shoes so you can say there’s no place like home! Click those heels. Unleash the flying monkeys on this cancer & be well!

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  80. Sending so much strength and care in your direction… also, adore the spool ornaments. Here’s to a healthy and peaceful 2021, with the people you love close, and the doggies you love snuggled on your lap.

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  81. Loving all your posts. Wishing the least awful recovery possible! And I am so impressed with you getting through so much of it already!!! Sending all my best wishes & support to you & Mr. Refashionista!

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