Hey Friends! It’s been almost a week since my most recent chemo session.
Everyone says the last two chemo treatments are the really hard ones.
Unfortunately, in my case, they are correct.
My first chemotherapy treatment was tough. Thankfully, my second treatment went a lot easier and left me feeling like I had a pretty good idea of what to expect as far as side effects go. My third chemo treatment was…well…harder. And my fourth chemo treatment left me pretty wiped out.
Chemo Round 5: So Over It
Mr. Refashionista and I have a running joke.
Right before we leave for my infusion session on chemo day, I look down at my phone. “Huh. Well will you look at that. I just got a text from my oncologist. He said I’ve done sooooo well with chemo that I’m all done!”
Of course, that’s not gonna happen.
How am I holding up?
I’m weak. I’m exhausted. I feel sick. :/
More than anything, I’m just so very over all of this.
Chemo hasn’t been what I thought it would be. It’s less acute and more grueling. Less sharp pangs and more throbbing. It’s a slow grind that’s wearing me down bit by bit.
On the bright side, I haven’t experienced any new side effects, just more of the same old ones.
Brian has been a phenomenal caregiver, but I know it’s hard for him to see me sick and exhausted all the time. I love him so much, and I wish I could make this easier for him.
Christmastime in Cancerland
Being sick over the holidays is especially challenging. I want to be festive and energized. I want to be present for my friends and family. I want to spend hours baking and decorating Christmas cookies, cakes, and all sorts of other treats.
Last weekend (before my treatment), we put up our Christmas tree. I put on a Christmas music station to get us in the holiday mood.
Ever notice how depressing a lot of Christmas music is? LOTS of diminished chords (WHY?!?). We ended up having to change the station to an Indie Chill station when it got to be too much.
We just don’t know how many Christmases we have left together. We don’t know if my treatment will work. We don’t know that my cancer won’t come back.
It’s almost over!
Just. One. More. That’s what I keep telling myself. I just have to go through this one more time.
Yes, it’ll be the hardest one with the longest recovery period, but it will hopefully be the END of all of this. That’s what we have to believe to keep going.
I’m going to keep blogging as much as I can between now and my next (FINAL) treatment. I have a few fun holiday refashions up my thrifted sleeve I can’t wait to share!
Just think…in less than a month we’ll be celebrating the end of my cancer treatment/the beginning of a (hopefully) much better year.
I can’t flippin wait.