Hello friends!
I am thrilled to announce I’m 1/3 of the way through my chemotherapy!
Last Thursday I returned to the oncology center where I receive my treatments, less than a mile from my house (so weird), armed with a Diana Ross-sized bag filled with everything I could think of to keep me comfortable and distracted for my 8-hour infusion session.
The side effects from my first chemo session really threw me for a loop. While I didn’t experience much nausea, the bone pain and brain fog were much more intense than I expected, and the unpleasant tingling & numbness in my hands and feet (think pins and needles) was a little scary.
The good news is, the worst of my side effects didn’t last long. After a few days I was able to think clearly again, and the pain subsided. The pins and needles went away too.
Within a week, I was back to taking a shortened version of my regular morning run.
Within another week, my hair started falling out in clumps and I had to shave my head. 🙁 I hope you guys have been enjoying seeing the unveiling of my new wig collection. 😉
Chemo Round 2: Electric Boogaloo
Everyone warned me the side effects from chemo would get harder and harder with each session. So, I tried to think of anything I could do to lessen them. I started hydrating further in advance of my treatment. I began taking supplements (Vitamins B6, B12 & Alpha Lipoic Acid) to help fight neuropathy (the nerve damage that causes numbness in my hands and feet).
I am so so SO grateful to report that my second bout of chemo treatment was easier than my first.
Maybe my extra preparations this time did the trick. Maybe I was more mentally prepared. Maybe I was just lucky. But I bounced back really quickly, with only two days of significant downtime (spent on the couch watching the last season of Schitt’s Creek).
My biggest symptoms were/are fatigue and some pain. I still haven’t experienced much nausea, and I didn’t have that pins and needles feeling at all this time.
I don’t want to say it wasn’t that bad, as that’s simply not true, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as what I was anticipating.
I get knocked down, but I get up again.
Before this blog was even a thing, I used to play roller derby (poorly). I was never very good at the sport, but I really enjoyed it and through this unusual pastime met some of the most amazing people I’ve ever known.
While I was one of the fastest skaters on my team, I was also one of the easiest players to knock over, standing a full head shorter than most other roller girls, and weighing even less than I do now.
My derby name was Thrill Kill Jill, which I still think is pretty badass.
For two years, I spent a lot of my free time getting hit to the ground and hopping back up as quickly as possible. What I lacked in blocking skills and muscle mass I compensated for in lunk-willed stubbornness.
I cannot emphasize enough how not good I was at Roller Derby.
I cannot emphasize enough how not good I am at having Cancer.
I keep getting a lot of feedback about how I’m handling this so well, doing so great, and being so brave, but I don’t really feel that way.
I don’t think being able to take a beating is exactly a skill.
I don’t think anyone can really be good at this. I don’t think a person who responds to a diagnosis like mine with bitterness and snark is any less brave than someone who is super positive.
I’m just getting hit over and over and over again, pushing myself back up, and sprinting back so I can get pummeled again. If you were in my position, it’s exactly what you’d be doing too.
Because there’s no other option.
Onward.
It’s tricky, isn’t it? Being complimented on how you’re handling something that is really, really difficult for you?
In your case, I think people are noticing how Jillian you still are. Fighting cancer isn’t about being bright or being brave–it’s about finding ways to stay YOU. That is what you are rocking at–smiling, socializing, and sewing through the troubles. All very Jillian things to do, AND you’re still sharing it all with us. Chemo may zap your energy, but you’ve made CERTAIN it hasn’t stolen a ray of your sunshiney essence.
You are an amazing young woman!! Keep going it’ll be worth it!
Jillian- I can see and feel your smile and your sassy attitude. Staying positive… staying strong… staying you… Sending healing prayers your way. May you have safe passage on this journey.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed, honey! You are a strong woman, I send you a lot of love and strength. You have to fight alone, but we all think of you. Iveta, Slovakia.
Sending you lots of positive energy! You are doing great and we are all stronger than we think I had Breast Cancer in 2017 and I tried to have the same attitude – always onwards! ❤️ Cat
At 41, I was diagnosed with cancer in July 2001 and started Chemo the day after 9/11. At the end of the week, I was asked how I felt. When the world feels upside down, and you start cancer treatment, you are in a fog and not even sure how to answer. Sounds familiar right?
I learned that everyone’s cancer story is their’s, and no two are alike. Meeting survivors that were many years out from their diagnoses or surviving more than once, were big inspirations for me.
At 5’ and 105lbs (which I still am), fit and healthy, I did not feel like a candidate for cancer and wanted to strike out at women who were smoking and living poor life styles. Felt so unfair. It was nothing I did, it just was! Breast cancer does not run in my family.
With a very supportive husband and young sons, I’m grateful to be here and realize I’m shaped by what I went through with surgeries, Chemo, radiation and healing. This is only part of my story but a big part.
I was told there would be a day that Cancer is not the first thing you think about when you wake up. That was hard to imagine 19 years ago. Many days I don’t think of it at all and very grateful to be at that place in my life.
Hang in there my friend, your creativity may be on hold and slogging through may be your new schedule. That’s absolutely ok. You are not alone.
Be You. Good bless.
Rona Sheeran
Ps, A roller derby chic! How cool is that!
So many beautiful comments for such a beautiful woman.
I never knew you were roller derby—-I’m impressed! Jillian you are fabulous! Healing prayers to you my most fave blogger.
I’m praying for you Jill. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself. You encourage so many people, I pray that you are encouraged by our expressions to you!
I applaud you! You are like a Jackie O and Katheryn Hepburn all wrapped up with a funky twist! I love everything you do and you will do this too. You are right, no one “does cancer well”… they just do it. You will do it and you have tons of cheerleaders behind you! Just know that you inspire, you are valued, you are trusted, you are amazing! You go girl.. cry, laugh, hurt, be sick, have good days, have bad days. We love you and we are here.
Cancer Sucks!
I am an 18thC re-enactor. Found your refashion page by some weird accident several years ago. Love your refashions! and thanks so much for keeping us updated on your treatment & recovery. Burnley & Trowbridge sell 18th material, etc. and they have FABULOUS SCARVES!! They have posted a video on their youTube channel on how to tie/wrap them. You should check them out https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNyjJVmKWu_rpDVh10oQwAX9XIjVtvLlh
You probably won’t see this, as there are many, many comments on this page, as we all are rooting for you and wishing you well. I wanted to recommend the YouTube channel “wrapunzel”. Their resources and online store helped me to find fantastic ways to style my scarves and achieve the shape I wanted. Here’s wishing you strength and inner peace on the rocky road ahad.
I intentionally pray for you everyday!
The fact that you laugh, cry and anticipate what’s coming is proof of your ability to conquer just about anything.
Stay happy
Beth
Thrill Kill Jill, you are brave to fight cancer and at the same time all health taboos. You may stumble sometimes on the path, but getting back up is a real skill! Your mindset is so stark. A big hug to you and the team of your loved ones, you all are doing a great work. All the best for this journey.
By sharing your experiences through the years and through your current difficult times now, you are inspiring others to be creative, to find humor in everyday occurrences and to reach for inner strength that will carry them forward. I will be 70 in December and you, at a much younger age, inspire the hell out of me. Keeping you in my heart daily.
as someone working in a field that is related to oncology (I’ve about finished my phd in pediatric palliative care) this is such an important blog to read!
It is a very human response for those of us who stand on the sideline to tell people they are brave, that they are fighting, battling you name it. But while these words may strengthen some, it can also create the side-effect of expectation: that we have to be brave in the face of serious illnesses, that we have to be strong, fight and overcome. And most importantly: that if you don’t, you’re failing, or that whenever things don’t go the way you wish, it may have been through a fault of your own, for not fighting enough, or anything like that.
So, from the bottom of my heart, I wish to tell you that you are amazing, not for battling it, but for having to live through it, and no matter how you deal with it -determination, resolve, fear, anger, what-have-you- you will be amazing.
You are so amazing!!!
Here’s the thing; you don’t think that you are any better at handling this crappy situation than anyone else, but the fact that you come on here with humor and honesty proves that you are not just enduring , but you are LEADING…. The Universe has always had big plans for you and will never give you more than you can handle. In this bizarre, apocalyptic world we are in at the moment, you could have easily given up, pulled the blanket over your head and waited for …. whatever. Instead, you charge forth, scissors in hand, ready to show the world that you aren’t easily beat and that neither should the rest of us. Bravo, beautiful warrior. Thank you for reminding us what it looks like to be a resourceful, creative, STRONG, feeling human being. Feel all your feelings, good, bitter and otherwise. YOU ARE WONDERFUL!
You are a glorious inspiration, sending all of the strength and love that I can!
(and that red dress is frickin’ SMOKING!! Love it)
You are such an inspiration to your followers. Your husband and friends must surely be amazed at your strength and spirit. Keep up the positive attitude!
Your positivity is up lifting! Push on and overcome!
I think about you lots. You’re right: dealing with this is not necessarily a skill. That being said, you’re usually a pretty positive person and that seems beneficial now. I look forward to your updates and I know you’re doing your due diligence to get better. The dress you’re wearing here is so fierce, I can’t even. It goes so well with your head scarf, which I know isn’t fun to wear but you’re still wearing the f out of the ensemble. I thought about you the other day and had an idea where if there weren’t a global pandemic right now, it might be fun to have a rally to support you where attendees all wear re-fashioned garments. Maybe on your anniversary of ringing the bell, next year Take good care.
God speed to you!
Kill Jill! Love it! And the Moira reference had me cracking up! I love her wall of wigs. I’ve been following you for a few years now, and my admiration just continues to grow. Your resilience is truly inspiring.
What a journey what a rough ride. Really it must be the right thing to acknowledge all the negative feelings that you go through. Don’t be too hard on lovely self . Everyone’s justified in having a good swear and a good cry.
Sending you love, light, angel blessings, health, energy and happiness and anything else helpful that can find it’s way across the Atlantic.
Jean Fox. Cornwall England
I am glad you are managing, glad you are finding it tolerable. You look great and I hope that you will soon be feeling great. Thinking of you, hoping for you.
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” — Blake Lively
You wear it well Thrill Kill Jill! May you be bless with health and happiness.
You my friend are amazing! Move over Wonder Woman, here you come! I have followed your blog for soooo long. It’s such an inspiration to me. You give us all a positive, real and honest voice. I have been nervous to go see my GYN. I am going to make that appointment. Thank you.
Precious girl, you are beautiful inside and out.
Euchre rule: Roller Derby trumps cancer. You may feel like you aren’t handling this very well. How could anybody? But you are! You are inspiring the people you have already inspired! So happy to hear this round wasn’t as bad. Sending you healing energy from Canada. Take care, Martha, Osoyoos BC Canada
Continuing to send lots of love to you and Mr. Refashionista!
You rock!! Thrill Kill Jill and Refashionista!! Wow. I think getting knocked down and getting back up is your SUPERPOWER!! Thank you for sharing your life with us. ❤️And
As one of my old bosses said to me about coping with sh!t “well, the alternative is much worse”.
Loving the headband and dress – thanks for sharing your slinky little number.
I hope the each round of chemo becomes easier and that soon it will all be a yucky memory.
hugs
Thank you for sharing & allowing us to see this very personal side – definitely onward! Thinking of you in CT
You gf are absolutely amazing!!! Keep on keeping it real & remember we are all here for you & love you much.
Never liked the fighter-battle framing of this experience. To me it’s more like playing the cards you’re dealt, with grace, and possibly style, and even humor. Glad you’re through with the second treatment. Great to see your post today, TKJ!
Like Hilly said, I have permanent numbness in my feet and fingers. Tell your oncologist immediately if you start feeling any numbness. Like Penny said, I have a lifetime of collecting sewing stuff . I love your ideas and am using some. My failures become quilts. I feel such a connection with you and many of your fans. We are all being inspired by you, hurting for you, and praying for you. My surgery is in one week. I’m almost there.
Thrill Kill Jill i LOOOOOOOOVE IT. wish i had a cool name. keep on being awesome!
I didn’t think I could adore you more, but your tiny little self being a roller derby bad-ass? You are my hero <3
Oh you little badass!!!! You make me smile. I hope all the well wishes make you smile 😉 One foot in front of the other and chin up!! You are an inspiration to a lot of us as I hope we are to you!!
I got so fed up with people sayin…oh you are strong, you’ll beat this. Or…you need to stay positive. Or…it’s no big deal. Or..I know someone who died of cancer. I never asked for the membership card into this club. And I’ve found out that cancer is the gift that keeps on giving. It sucks.
We love you! Keep on going.
You look great, another round done, and you looks fabulous, positive and with a great attitude. We admire your courage, Prayers always; for you and your family.
You are absolutely inspiring in everything you do. Kick cancer’s ass!
Thrill Kill Jill…I never would have guessed that but so appropriate for what you’re going through. (I keep thinking “Cell Kill Jill”) Nothing but the most positive vibes being sent your way. Keep absorbing all the positive energy! We’ve all got more to send!!!
Love your honesty and your tenacity! You’re super cute, super creative and smart— we’re all praying for your total healing!
You’re inspirational! –and you’re doing it with the best gifs.
Keep on being stubborn ! Your tenacity is what it takes to beat this. And you have SO many people in your corner cheering you on! Thank you so much for the updates❤
Thinking about you almost every day. I love your refashions. You are an amazing person. Praying for your bounce back to health
Your bravery is shown when you share with us what you’re going through. The super short hair works on you! And the coordinating scarf with the outfit is divine. I have been through cancer and surgeries. No chemotherapy, per se, but a severe allergic reaction to the medication they did give me. It ain’t fun. But there is an out. You’re 1/3rd of the way there!
I’m going to get all sappy at you and tell you that you are an inspiration! I can only pray if I ever have to do the cancer thing I have half your spunk and energy! I love to read your refashions and follow your posts. I’m praying for you and the Mister. Keep at it, “Jill”!
Never give up Thrill Kill Jill! Lots of love and prayers…
Be well. Just keep getting up when you fall down. If you need to cry, scream and holler do it. It’s your journey and there is no award for denying uncomfortable feelings.
Hey TKJ!!! Awesome derby story. And you’ve got the cancer story right. It stinks, it isn’t easy, and you don’t need to be positive. You just need to do what you feel best doing to get through it and on to the other side. Sending healing thoughts!
I am a looooong time fan of yours. Keep fighting. Thank you for keeping it real too. I am so sorry for what you are going through.
Praying for you as you go ONWARD!
you look fabulous with the scarf and outfit! ii love your blog. Thank you for sharing this with us. blessings to you and your family and friends.
Thanks for sharing! You are a fashion and refashion inspiration and I’m so glad you’re getting through the chemos. Sending lots of good karma ❤️
So thankful this round was a bit easier than the last. Hope it’s a new trend! You look fabulous, by the way! Thanks for the entertaining roller derby story.
Another round of chemo bites the dust! Thrill Kill Jill! Love it. You are awesome.
I am a long time reader of your blog. It always makes me happy when I see a notification in my email of your newest blog. I’d think what fabulous piece of clothing did she make today? You have been on my mind so much lately. Thanks for the update. Onward!
Your sanguine humor reminds me of my Dad who was a recipient of one of the earliest experimental portable oxygen tanks for his emphysema. Once while in a parking lot a huge biker dude asked what was up with the hose. Dad gave his brave pollyanna explanation. The dude cocked his head to one side and after a pause said, “It still sucks though, hunh? Chin up kiddo!
You are wonderful and I wish I was as positive as you. I continue to think of you and send you get well vibes from the UK. Onward!
Continuing to pray for you.
Continued prayers sending your way.
First of all, I love that dress that you have on in this post!! Thank you for the updates and for keeping it so real. I can’t wait to see what wig goes with the THRILL KILL JILL!
Thanks for keeping us updated! I always love to read what you write, no matter the topic or mood. I’m so glad you’re symptoms weren’t as intolerable as expected.
I didn’t know you are a runner!! From one fellow runner to another, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one at a time ♀️ We are all rooting for you, praying for you and cheering you on
Lunk-willed stubbornness is going into my arsenal … Onward … If it helps to know you inspire so many I hope you are feeling that today.
You are an inspiration! Glad to hear that your second treatment went better. What a fantastic attitude you have. Thank you for sharing your story with us. So many grateful readers are pulling and praying for you!
I had the same experience – it didn’t take bravery or strength or anything to sit and have chemicals pumped into my veins for 2 hours every other week. It was just what they told me to do so I did it. And in my case, my prognosis was always pretty good (85% chance remission) so it very much felt like something I had nothing to do with. It’s really comforting to me, 15 years later, to hear that other people feel this way. So much rhetoric around cancer is this forcibly cheery thing and honestly? Sometimes we’re just sitting there.
Anyway, long-time reader, first-time commenter, thinking of you; I hope each chemo gets a little better – I at least got pretty used to it by the last round (I had 8 total).
You are an inspiration to anyone going through any major challenge! Love you so much! Be well!!! Lauren Huffman Morris, Toronto, Canada
I so admire your courage. Your wit and humorous writing deserves many kudos! Sending prayers and peaceful thoughts when you need them,,,,take them because you deserve them. Keep in your heart and mind that during your down times, there are so many of us wishing you well…
Dear THRILL-KILL-JILL … U rock those headscarves like a champ !! Look good-Feel better
I love this. It’s so true. Thinking of you!
Prayers are with you. I so enjoy your Refashionista writings.
Dearest TKJ — the news of your positive blood work tests just made my day!! Prayers answered — and more on the way. Love to you both (and the fur babies).
This!!
“Thrill Kill Jill” love this and have nothing but all the positive vibes and love to you during this time.
It is hard to believe that anything positive can result from a worldwide pandemic or cancer diagnoses. However, you are proof that curve balls can be caught. Your talents, I am sorry to say were wasted on the art scene. Writing a blog that intertwines refashioning with real life is your true calling and I like so many others smile with thanks when your post arrives in my inbox. “You are women you are strong”
You’re brill, Jill! Wise words all the best to you guys X
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. It sucks and it’s ok to think it sucks sometimes. Fortunately though you’ve got a husband and readers who love and support you and want you to get better soon!
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I agree with you and feel your pain. Breast Cancer survivor….young like you. It sucked…every minute of it. (I had severe numbness too….that scared the heck out of me. I’m a seamstress by trade and just picking up a needle was excruciating ) No matter how many positive things people say…you just want to crawl in a hole…..but then you have to dig yourself out and keep going. So…Thrill Kill Jill!! You keep going..no matter what!!!
I am praying for you. And I know you are going to conquer this.
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Thank you for sharing your real human response to your experience- it helps all of us. Derby Love, Suzy Contusion
NEVER underestimate the ability to do the things that are hard. It may seem like the only option, but life is all about choices & you are choosing to fight a formidable & relentless opponent. Take the kudos lady & know that you have a force behind you of virtual strangers. That’s pretty remarkable as well. Also, you’re killing the head scarf game.
Jillian you are such an inspiration to us all and you look fabulous in that dress. So glad your second chemo treatment wasn´t as bad as the first. You have an amazing positive attitude that I am sure will help you get through this. As an MS sufferer I understand your neuropathy discomfort and pain, and yes the B vitamins do help. Mine has lessened since I began eating more oily fish. Sending love and hugs to you from a Welsh woman in Spain.
Your post brought tears to my eyes, you may not see it, but your response to this “cancer” is truly inspirational. I’m praying for your recovery, thank you for all you do, your post has touched me deeply.
Chris
It is so awesome you were in roller derby. You really are a badass. Sending hugs, prayers And love for a quick, uneventful recovery.
I so admire your moxie, Jillian. You and your Mr. are I my prayers. ♥️ Cate
Well, if you’re not brave, thank God you are stubborn! Hugs.
Keep just getting up to fight each day the best way you know how. Hopefully meds help pull you through for your cancer and for dealing with pain. I hope this pushes the cancer into remission for you. You have a lot of life left to live won’t your hubster and doggies.
I’m 57 and in the end stage of lung cancer stage 4, so no good outlook for me, just trying to die with dignity. Probably a month or 2 left. Hard part is getting rid of all my sewing stuff. Hard to deal with no more projects can be done now. Too bad I bought enough to live to about 300 yrs old.
Still love reading your blog over the last several years. Thanks for being a bright spot in a lot of people’s lives, even though yours is cloudy right now. Love you.
Penny
Very well put. I think a lot of the times, those positive comments being lobbed your way are simply a way of coming to grips with knowing that a terrible thing is happening to a sweet friend. So its maybe as much for them as for you. And just know that people find it reeeely hard to know what to say, so they go for the best they can come up with. Sending positive pain free brave thoughts of rainbow unicorn happiness your way…
Sending positive vibes and healing energy your way!
Sending positive thoughts your way. Your sharing does positive things for all of us. Thank you.
You rock! Being a provincial Scot I didn’t know roller derby even existed. Your dogged determination will carry you through.
You look amazing! I’m so happy your second round wasn’t as bad as expected. I think in hard times, bravery in real life looks different than in books or movies. It’s showing up and doing what needs to be done, which is HARD. You can have whatever attitude feels right to you that day, it’s your experience. There is so much love coming your way, whether you’re upbeat and positive or angry and bitter or somewhere in between. We’re here for you always.
Jillian,
As if I couldn’t adore you more. Now you’ve mentioned one of my favorite shows AND my favorite sport (I’ve been playing roller derby since 2009)! Continuing to hope for a victory over cancer and mild side effects from treatment for you. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Best wishes and derby shoves & hugs,
Megan
I love your clothes transformations. Your look good. Something I have heard, cancer feeds on sugar, so less sugar means less cancer.
Wow, you are so talented in so many ways. Your writing skills are amazing!! You should really consider writing a book about anything your heart desires. Good writers, the ones who make you want to never stop reading their stories, are hard to find today. Praying for you everyday!!
I have a dear friend who will be starting chemo next week. May I share your tips with her? I love your proactive stance.
Also, if you would, what did you put in your Diana Ross sized bag to keep yourself amused? I’d love if you could share that with us.
I am SO glad you found your second treatment wasn’t as bad as your first. I’m so glad for you!
(((Gentle Hugs)))
Thanks for the reality check. And the panacea that is Schitt’s Creek!
You are a warrior!! We support you.
You can do this! Possibly, the first round was worse because it was a new experience for your body. Also, you possibly imagined it would be more terrible. It is different for everyone. I wish the best possible outcome for you. I enjoy your clever ideas with clothes past their prime.
OMG. My mom had that EXACT dress. I wore it in a school play in 1991 when I had to be a hippie. After that, she gave it to Goodwill without me knowing, and I was heartbroken. BUT now I can imagine that it ended up with you (I doubt it’s hers, but a journey from Alabama to South Carolina isn’t too far of a stretch!), so I can be happy instead of bitter. You look amazing in it. Sending good vibes your way <3
I’m sure you’re on an emotional roller coaster. I think you sharing your story is helpful not only for you, but for all of us. You are going to get through this. Try to stay as positive as you can. Hugs from the Midwest.
Your doing great and we are all behind you!’ Love your look today.
May you keep putting one foot in front of the other going forward. Am very apperciative of sharing your gift of writing with a sense of humor. While, teaching us your amazing renovations on impossible outfits which turn out so well.
You are supremely beautiful! Know your sharing is an inspiration in so many ways, and we love you. It’s great to see your smile and fashion prevail. Big Hugs
<3 <3 <3
I’m so glad your second treatment went better than you expected. I love your reference to your roller derby days. It is the perfect metaphor for life. And you look absolutely fabulous in your outfit and scarf!
I very strongly dislike the way cancer is often framed as a “battle,” with the accompanying terms. That it is something that can be ‘beat.’ That those who are ‘fighting’ it are ‘strong’ or ‘brave.’ I feel like it sets up a dichotomy where those who die from it somehow.. lost.
I appreciate your thoughtful words on the matter & I am wishing you well and sending positive thoughts your way.
Inspirational, tough, and awesome as always. You look amazing. Keep fighting.
So many feels for you today! I think of you often, and look forward to your updates and refashion posts, now and for a long time to come!
In 2008 I was treated for cervical cancer and had much of the same treatment you had/are having – surgery (5 days after diagnosis), chemo (6 hour sessions) and radiation. Happy to share I am still cancer free. This post really resonates with me – I was told over and over again how brave I was and a fighter winning the cancer war. But honestly I was doing the only thing I could do – not give up. I never felt brave, and most never saw when I would feel really sad/hopeless/scared because I got good at putting on a happy face because I didn’t want others to worry. Even if you are surrounded with family and friends, treatment is a very lonely and isolating experience because they will never know what it actually feels like and the thoughts of all the things that could happen running though your head. So all I can say is put one foot in front of the other and eventually you’ll get to the other side – you’ll be a different person – and that’s not so bad. Getting cancer changed my life (obviously) but it made me realize “someday” is never guaranteed and that I needed to do all the things I always told myself that I’d do someday – got a tattoo, went skydiving, really stepped up my world traveling… and my tolerance for BS went waaaay down – and I tell people I love them… all good things IMO. Good Luck and I look forward to following your journey.
Your thoughts, fears, hopes, coping mechanisms, pains, etc. are illuminating and uplifting. You never know how many people find it helpful now or in the future. We, who care about you, are thankful you are sharing the details because we do care. May it continue to go as good as possible and may there be renewed health ahead and emotional comfort during the process! Hugs!
Cancer sucks. Neuropathy sucks. FD helps. https://firstdescents.org/ Meetups are currently virtual, and there’s no one better to joke with, cry with, be with than those who have and are going through the same thing. (If the neuropathy gets too bad, try using No Stich Glue to keep creating).
May you always have the energy to get back up.
Fab frock and head scarf. Long-distance air hugs to you.
Indeed, getting back up like Rocky is a learned skill! Not by any stretch am I thinking you are having an easy time, yet you are charging forward!! And quite fashionably I might add. Do you have a choice? Maybe not, but wallowing for a long period of time is not good for the soul. Take your moment of sadness/why me/I can’t and absorb it then throw it away. And your Mr is right there for you!! Your refashion friends support you and this one is praying for you!!
Keep on the positive track. Best Wishes for an easy time with chemo!
Oh wow! You truly are amazing. I am blown away by your honesty and braveness in this brutal, shitty situation.
Talking about shitty, or “schitty”, I had Schitt’s Creek pop up today in my FB account. I had never heard of this series and was just googling it when your post came along, with you writing about watching the series. Bizarre…
Sending healing vibes in your direction!!
Always get back up again and keep going forward, it’s all that is needed and way more than enough xx
As long as you keep getting back up…you’re doing fantabulous..keep up the snark and style…not many people can make something as awful as chemo look fashionable.
Jillian, thank you for the honesty presented here. True feelings, no sugar coating. Vent as much as you want. We are your friends here. Hope you feel better each day.
BTW, love the dress.
Thinking of you and sending good vibes! You may not feel it, but you’re a rock star and an inspiration for many. xoxoxox
I’m so glad you are telling it like it is….. It’s so much ‘easier’ this way. Being positive is wonderful and totally amazing, especially when we feel scared, in pain and ‘fogged’. I know you are not asking for sympathy, Hon… but you’ve got mine.. and a ton of empathy as well. Do your thing, Girl, it will always help you thru. Experience talking here… Grab your happiness, work your thing… It not only helps the time to go by… it also makes you feel more yourself and sometimes, just sometimes, you can put this awful thing behind you for a minute or two and concentrate on what makes your life worth living. Hugs and all…. Ethel Kirkpatrick aka TEMA
you are succeeding – because you keep getting up again.
Thank you for sharing. Best wishes to you! And your outfit and headscarf are amazing!
Nicely said. Onward! xo